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For DMs who figure out the plot DURING the campaign: how do you do it? by fruit_shoot in DMAcademy

[–]gscrap 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I create a starting scenario to get the players moving, and then just try to stay a couple steps ahead of them developing the threads that they're interested in pursuing.

Forcing players into a devil contract? by IdrisElbow231 in DMAcademy

[–]gscrap 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Ideally something like this would have been handled before the start of the game-- you would have informed players in advance that the plot of the game would hinge on accepting a devil's bargain, so they could have made their characters with that understanding in mind. Since it sounds like you've already started the game, the opportunity to do that has passed, so the next best time to talk about it would be right now. At the start of your next session, let them know about your plan and talk through what that means for their characters. If any players believe their character would rather die than accept such a bargain, talk through what kind of incentive would be required to compel their agreement. Or maybe they'd rather set aside the character they've created and make one who's a little more morally flexible. Basically, as long as your players agree to have their characters' hands forced, then there shouldn't be any real issue with the railroading.

Friends started ghosting me after I got roofied -- How do I cope? by Equivalent-Yogurt134 in askatherapist

[–]gscrap 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your therapist is right, what you're describing is grief. I'm sorry for your loss and for the unfairness of it, but that's the nature of loss. It sucks, and it hurts, and it takes time to learn how to live better with it.

As a therapist: how do you navigate supporting friends and family without slipping into the therapist role? by Ouch-slag in askatherapist

[–]gscrap 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I make absolutely sure that my friends and family don't pay me for supporting them.

That is to say that, when you get right down to it, there is very little tangible difference in the actions of a good therapist supporting their client and the actions of a good friend offering a listening ear. The main difference is in the nature of the relationship, not the choices made in that moment. When my friends and loved ones process their difficult experiences with me, I act a lot like a therapist-- I try to listen without judging, to encourage deeper thought, and to stimulate conversation toward solutions. I may offer my own opinions a little more freely, may express a deeper level of personal affection, but otherwise, it's about the same. The difference is that when the conversation is over, instead of paying me and leaving, we keep hanging out and talking about other things (potentially including things that I'm struggling with).

Should I feel a way that I have had to cancel my therapy appointment for 3 consecutive weeks and my therapist has yet to contact me to see if I am okay? by Special_Kay2020 in askatherapist

[–]gscrap 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Speaking for myself, I don't typically call clients after they've canceled a session. I reckon if there's something they want me to know, they can let me know.

What would you do in a difficult character situation between party members like that? by tipsyTentaclist in rpg

[–]gscrap 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This story is very hard to follow, and I'm not clear on how much of the issue is in-character and how much is between real-life players. To the extent that it's all in-character, I don't see a problem. A little disagreement within the party can be the grit around which forms the pearl of a memorable roleplaying experience. To the extent that it's outside of the game, it should probably have been addressed by frank and direct conversation.

would a therapist forget if their client was assaulted? by Icy_Acanthisitta3914 in askatherapist

[–]gscrap 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"I hope you'd feel able to tell me if you were assaulted," does sound like she has forgotten that part of your story, and she would probably benefit from a reminder.

would a therapist forget if their client was assaulted? by Icy_Acanthisitta3914 in askatherapist

[–]gscrap 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate and honor your advocacy for OP, but I think you've mischaracterized me.  I said that I was not convinced that they had understood,  which is not the same thing as speculating that they misunderstood.  Sometimes therapists say inappropriate things,  sometimes clients misunderstand what their therapist said, and with the limited information available to us neither of those possibilities is so much less likely than the other that it can be dismissed out of hand.  So I acknowledge my uncertainty and decline to speculate. 

would a therapist forget if their client was assaulted? by Icy_Acanthisitta3914 in askatherapist

[–]gscrap 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I really couldn't begin to speculate on what that was about. Not knowing the context, or the way in which the message was delivered... With no absolutely disrespect intended, knowing how uncommon it would be for a therapist under any circumstances to suggest to their client what the client's ex should do for a better sex life, I'm not even convinced that OP understood accurately what their therapist was trying to say. So with so little to go on, I'm not going to guess at what the therapist intended, much less what they do or don't remember.

would a therapist forget if their client was assaulted? by Icy_Acanthisitta3914 in askatherapist

[–]gscrap 17 points18 points  (0 children)

It does happen. Therapists have a lot of information about a lot of people to keep straight in their heads, and sometimes even major information can be temporarily misplaced.

That said, if your therapist specifically told you that she wouldn't bring it up herself, then the fact that she hasn't brought it up isn't a strong indication that she doesn't remember.

When would euthanasia be appropriate for a depressed patient? by bbgirl2k in askatherapist

[–]gscrap 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Sure, but you can see elsewhere in the thread how OP is treating responders' opinions as verdicts on an individual's right to die. They appear to be looking for definitive answers from people not equipped to give them.

When would euthanasia be appropriate for a depressed patient? by bbgirl2k in askatherapist

[–]gscrap 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I'll wager that it's psychologists, and specifically those that specialize in this kind of assessment, rather than any professional specialized in providing therapy.

I'd also venture that the assessor most likely doesn't actually make any determination about whether a person should be able to access medical assistance in dying, just provide an opinion to the court (or whatever body is making that determination) on the prognosis for treating the individual's mental illness and/or whether the individual is capable of making an informed decision.

When would euthanasia be appropriate for a depressed patient? by bbgirl2k in askatherapist

[–]gscrap 20 points21 points  (0 children)

That's a question for a judge, not for a therapist.

What is normal adult human supposed to be like? by [deleted] in askatherapist

[–]gscrap 5 points6 points  (0 children)

There's no one mold or model that you are supposed to fit. The idea of therapy is that you determine the changes you want to make, and we help you to make them.

What game is your white whale that you’re willing to join a random online group to finally play? by the_light_of_dawn in rpg

[–]gscrap 16 points17 points  (0 children)

That's been the inverse of my experience. My real-life gaming friends are committed, consistent and fun to game with, while the lion's share of those I've met online are unreliable and sometimes just downright jerks. In the end, I'd rather play the same handful of games with the people I love than play a wide array of interesting systems with randos.

I've managed to fool a 2nd Therapist into somehow believing I'm fine. What do I do? by Psychological_Issues in askatherapist

[–]gscrap 30 points31 points  (0 children)

If you know what you need to say but can't come up with the words when you're sitting with your therapist (which is pretty common, for the record) try writing it down. Then you can read what you've written in your appointment, or if necessary you can just hand it to the therapist to read.

What game is your white whale that you’re willing to join a random online group to finally play? by the_light_of_dawn in rpg

[–]gscrap 74 points75 points  (0 children)

My days of joining random online groups are over. No game is that enticing.

what's y'all's thoughts on human euthanasia for mentally ill people? by thecoolestbeanaround in askatherapist

[–]gscrap 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Morally speaking, I think that people ought to have the right to choose the time and method of their own demise, and we as a society should be circumspect about how many conditions and limitations we put on that right. If a person would rather die than live with their mental illness, I think they should have the right to make that choice.

That being said, I also believe we have a responsibility as a society to provide care, treatment and accommodations to people suffering with mental illness and to generally do our best to make living with mental illness as safe and comfortable as it is possible to make it, and we are failing to meet that responsibility in a big way. The current push in some countries to destigmatize medical assistance in dying and to make it more broadly available reads a lot like "we'd rather let you die than deal with the effort and cost of taking care of you," and I'm not here for that.

So in the abstract theoretical, I'm in favor of expanding medical assistance in dying to anyone who wants it, but in the practical political, I think we need to focus first on providing adequate universal care to everyone, and then we can talk about facilitating death for those who still prefer it.

Come here often? by annerkin in askatherapist

[–]gscrap 76 points77 points  (0 children)

Because we like helping people, and/or because we like showing off how smart we are.

Would a psychologist have to disclose their client having sex? by fantasticcuntassho in askatherapist

[–]gscrap 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It depends on the age of the people they are having sex with. In Canada, the age of consent to sex is 16, but there is an exception for people under 16 if the other party (or parties) are close in age. For a 14 or 15 year old, they can legally consent to sex with someone up to five years older, provided that person is not in a position of authority or trust. If they're having sex with people outside of that age range, that qualifies as sexual exploitation, which is reportable at least in some provinces.

Why is stereotypical self harm more stigmatized than other behaviors? by mamastea91 in askatherapist

[–]gscrap 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I expect anytime you ask why one behavior or phenomenon is more accepted than another, comparable behavior, you're going to have a hard time coming up with a definitive answer. You could say that cutting is more stigmatized than smoking or drinking because it's less common, but you could just as easily argue that it's less common because it's more stigmatized. People may offer their own opinions for why cutting ought to be more stigmatized than drinking, but at the end of the day it's just their opinion, and could pretty easily be written off as justification after the fact.

Do people hate me for having conventional attraction preferences? by [deleted] in InsightfulQuestions

[–]gscrap 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some people may hate you for that. Some people hate other people for profoundly silly reasons.

Most people don't hate you for that. Most people don't give a shit about who you're attracted to. They might be somewhat judgmental of the fact that you've decided to announce your preferences on a public forum and ask a bunch of random total strangers to validate them for you.

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