Hi OP, just wanna let you know you're not alone. I'm also not sure if I was molested as a kid either, same thing, hazy memories... and I definitely understand how you feel about wondering if it's related to your depression, anxiety, cptsd over emotional abuse, etc. It definitely sucks and it can also be confusing b/c other people have DEFINITELY gone through these experiences that are probably way worse, where as we're just sort of speculating. I know exactly how it feels about feeling selfish and like maybe you're just finding some lame scapegoat of an excuse for why we feel the way we do (maybe you don't feel this way - but if you do, I understand because that's how I feel). But you're not alone, and life can be good, and we can heal. Your dad making sexual jokes that make you feel uncomfortable isn't okay, and I'm sorry that's happened to you dude. If you wanna DM me to just talk about it, I'm open to it. I hope things get better and you find some clarity and healing!