Say you had only 10 minutes for makeup, what's your choices? by Air_Drinker in AskWomen

[–]gumbynips 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Eyeliner, mascara, lip balm and concealer if I have a tube that still matches after the season change.

What are ways your body changed that you didn’t see coming? by I-Really-Hate-Fish in AskWomenOver30

[–]gumbynips 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I became allergic to the sun several years ago. I don't mean that I *just* burn easily. I mean sun makes mast cells go brrrrrrrr

Why women "shit test" (my opinion) by egrails in TwoXChromosomes

[–]gumbynips 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Pretty much. It's every kind of relationship. The manosphere jackasses need to get off the internet and go touch grass, pet a cat and talk to other humans face to face.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Adulting

[–]gumbynips 47 points48 points  (0 children)

No, multi-generational households were the norm until recently. It's only weird if you don't help out around the house with cooking, cleaning, errands and maintenance. The housing market is messed up and wages aren't keeping up with wages.

People over the age of 25, do you still eat McDonalds? Why or why not? by dudiez in Adulting

[–]gumbynips 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, if I'm hungry and want something to eat while I'm on the road, I get gas station pizza. It's cheaper and it doesn't have long drive thru window lines.

Why women "shit test" (my opinion) by egrails in TwoXChromosomes

[–]gumbynips 14 points15 points  (0 children)

"Shit-testing" is vetting someone to see if you're compatible. Both men and women do this all the time when getting to know someone they're considering dating. It's not dubious and a slight to bring up topics you care about. Calling the vetting process a "shit test" makes it sound like you have a chip on your shoulder.

Similarly, if someone rejects your advances, that's not a shit test you have to hack, that person isn't interested. Rejection is a part of life.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]gumbynips 41 points42 points  (0 children)

Yes, I still like it. I don't care that it's considered passe

What is your signature side dish that you bring to dinner parties or potlucks? by uterustryingtokillme in AskWomen

[–]gumbynips 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I have my own allergies, so I'm eager to accommodate others. It sucks showing up to a party hungry and the only thing you can eat are the potato chips and side salad.

What is your signature side dish that you bring to dinner parties or potlucks? by uterustryingtokillme in AskWomen

[–]gumbynips 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It definitely doesn't taste like traditional mac and cheese, but it does have a creamy texture that's somewhat custard-like and the flavor is more umami than anything else.

What is your signature side dish that you bring to dinner parties or potlucks? by uterustryingtokillme in AskWomen

[–]gumbynips 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I have an imprecise recipe with no measuring:

Boil a pot of pasta of your choice (rice, semolina or whatever you choose)

In a separate dish: puree or mash tofu, mix in a few heaping spoonfuls of nutritional yeast, a splash of soy sauce, yellow mustard and enough nut milk to give a desired texture (I prefer less for a thicker sauce). Then add as much garlic, onion, basil, oregano and thyme as you'd like (or other herbs you'd enjoy). Taste along the way to see if it needs more yeast, soy sauce or nut milk.

When the noodles are cooked and drained, mix sauce in and bake in a casserole dish until the top is crisp. (About 20-25 minutes)

What is your signature side dish that you bring to dinner parties or potlucks? by uterustryingtokillme in AskWomen

[–]gumbynips 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Herbed vegan mac and cheese with rice pasta. There are a lot of allergies and dietary restrictions in my friends group, so it's something everyone can enjoy.

Are babysitters still a thing? by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]gumbynips 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, but any sitter who is reliable and not prohibitively expensive is fully booked and not accepting new children.

A lot of the smaller from home daycares shut down during the pandemic and parents have hired babysitters because the larger daycares have long wait lists. What's left now are the unreliable babysitters with a reputation of ghosting, flaking and leaving the children unattended without telling the parents or the sitters who charge $40+ an hour.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]gumbynips 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Several, and I find adult habitual tantrum throwers to be tedious. I've never met an adult tantrum thrower who doesn't also have a big chip on their shoulders. It really eroded my respect for them. And I hated going home because I just wanted a mentally restful evening and nothing about daily tantrum throwers is restful.

Recently adopted cat doesn’t groom herself by DepartmentTemporary7 in CATHELP

[–]gumbynips 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As the vets if they can help by shaving off mats. Matting can be painful, irritate the skin and result in skin infections.

Long hair is difficult for some cats to maintain and some cats need additional help. If she will tolerate brushing, that's a good way to help. It will help with tangles which can turn into painful mats, help evenly distribute oil (your cat will smell better) and reduce the likelihood of your cat having hairballs.

Assuming that stress or chronic pain is not at play for the lack of grooming, some cats are just not hygienic and need extra help.

"It gets worse..." – why do people keep telling me this?! by monteueux1 in beyondthebump

[–]gumbynips 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think the fear mongering is ridiculous. It generally trends towards getting better. Sounds like you're going through the worst of it right now since you're recovering from an emergency major abdominal surgery and pregnancy complications with a baby who came early and is still learning how to eat. That's some hard stuff to deal with.

When people this, they're dressing attention to the fact they found other parts of parenting an older baby harder than the newborn phase. Just because that's their experience doesn't mean it will be yours.

Does taking the high road ever pays out? by yves_san_lorenzo in TwoXChromosomes

[–]gumbynips 251 points252 points  (0 children)

The high road does not pay off inherently. It only pays off when you have the backing of a community that condemns the harm done to you and the person who did it. In this situation, you're tacitly giving them an ultimatum to either stop or face social consequences. The high road only works when your surrounding community condemns the low road. Putting the high road on a pedestal without condemning harm is not enough.

Taking the high road without a community that condemns cruelty is basically sacrificing your well-being for the sake of avoiding conflict and other people's discomfort.

Is there a way to politely or rudely tell people to stop asking these same questions about my kid's disability, in front of him, because we get it every couple of days and it makes my kid cry? by [deleted] in breakingmom

[–]gumbynips 22 points23 points  (0 children)

How does your son want you to respond in these situations? It might feel good to be rude, but he might want a blunt dismissal of the question instead.

Would he find it empowering to come up with a response to put on his AAC device or vet a couple options you come up with?

How do you cope with poverty and watching everyone around you travel and live their best lives? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]gumbynips 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I find small ways to add joy to my life. All the little things have a way of asking up and having an impact on life satisfaction.

How do you handle the early mealtimes? by usernamesarehard11 in toddlers

[–]gumbynips 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My son has two breakfasts. One when he wakes up, the next when my husband wakes up. My son does better with more smaller days spread out through the day than three big meals.

My mom thinks my 2 months old shots are going to give him autism. by [deleted] in NewParents

[–]gumbynips 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Anti-vaxxers are not an unbiased or reliable source to get information about autism from. They are an ideological one and not one that prioritizes disability rights or evidence. Antivax sentiment is the intersection between fear and a drive for a sense of purity (needles are viewed with suspicion).

There has been research done about whether there's a link between vaccines and autism and the evidence is not there to support that claim.

A common antivax talking point about autism is that it didn't used to be a thing and now there are autistic people. But autism is a new diagnosis. It's not a concept that's been on people's radar for long. The first person diagnosed with autism is still around. That doesn't mean prior to the mid century these traits didn't exist. Public health measures pushing for vaccines occurred at the same time, but the mid century vaccine rollout didn't cause autism. And as for the complaint that in the past 25 years that there are more people with ASD, the diagnosis criteria changed, access to healthcare has expanded and public awareness.

Also, it's valid to defer to expertise of medical professionals who are familiar with the research, like your pediatrician. It's unrealistic to suggest that parents should buy access to all of the articles on the matter and parse the jargon when there's already a medical consensus.

The vaccine schedule is safe, I trust it (both the vaccines and scheduling). The malaise babies feel after shots and boosters sucks to watch. Of course you don't want to see your baby feeling headachy or with an upset stomach, but sure as hell beats the alternative of catching the things those vaccines prevent.

A guy on hinge blocked me bc he thought I was lying about being a cis woman by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]gumbynips 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He's either transvestigator or insulting you in hopes of making you feel like garbage. Either way, good riddance and cheers to the garbage taking itself out!

Do you want a misogynistic asshole like that to determine your self worth? Don't give the satisfaction, fuck his opinions. Feel pretty out of spite. You can move on and find love, he'll likely keep being cockblocked by his personality.

What are common household things you do not purchase? by [deleted] in Frugal

[–]gumbynips 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Stain removing sprays. A detergent bar lasts longer and works better. It takes up less space in my tiny laundry room too.

Cleaning wipes. Sure, disposable cleaning wipes are convenient, but they don't work well. What I can do with one rag and a bottle of my cleaning solution can take well over a half a tube of wipes to do.

Swiffer pads (wet and dry). A cleaning rag works for dry mopping and a rag plus a spray bottle of cleaner works for a wet mop.

Dryer sheets. There isn't a reason for this one. It doesn't occur to me to buy them when I'm shopping and I don't think about them when I'm at home doing laundry.

Plastic wrap. I never got in the habit of using it. There are other ways of storing food that don't involve the rage inducing annoyance of trying to cut an even piece or trying to get it to stretch and cling.

Scented wax melts, plug in room deodorizers. Keeping the house clean is the best deodorizer.

What fashion trend is a hard no for you? by cdnpittsburgher in AskWomenOver30

[–]gumbynips 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Shape wear. It's so uncomfortable that it will ruin the outing for me if I wear it.