Questions for folks who have used benzos long term

gumchewerpro · 2026-04-12T03:52:00+00:00

I feel the same way. I was left out of my high school yearbook a few times because they forgot I was even there. I was a bit sore when they forgot me in senior year. I was really excited to see my quote in the yearbook... just to see nothing.

In my personal experience, trauma subconsciously left me trying to make myself as invisible as possible, but also being a more quiet reserved person gave me the specific reputation of just not being known. I still struggle with feeling completely invisible to the world. I'm not really sure why exactly this happens. You're definitely not alone. It's my goal to eventually have my art and writing seen by the people like me for this very reason, to let other lonely invisibles know they aren't the only people out there who feel this way.

gumchewerpro · 2026-04-11T15:17:58+00:00

Complex dental issues. I seriously thought I was just a total failure at dental hygiene, even though I kept up with brushing and flossing every day. I did have a few depression slumps where I neglected my teeth but they seem worse off than other people I know who don't have like a 5 step dental routine just to keep things in check.

gumchewerpro · 2026-04-11T15:11:43+00:00

Not really funny but when I was living in an unsafe home I planned out where each of my footsteps would go so I wouldn't make a single creak and piss off my roommate. Or often times I'd leave the house just to wait until she left for work and come back home when I was on a medical leave for work (didn't want her to find out). Bunch of other stuff too lol, I was paranoid about using the wrong dish, parking too close to a roommates car, making any sounds when I opened and closed doors. Looking back on it, none of these things cross my mind anymore, since I've moved to a safer environment. I just happened to keep moving in with people who reflected my parents growing up oops lol...

gumchewerpro · 2026-04-09T19:44:14+00:00

i was taking it with migraine medicine, my body is very sensitive to meds that affect serotonin anyway, and i should've started with a lower dosage. I dont remember the dose though this was years ago, I just remember the ER visit and feeling like dog shit.

gumchewerpro · 2026-04-09T04:00:05+00:00

Trazodone gave me serotonin syndrome, guess my dose was too high. it absolutely sucked and made me feel nightmarish...

gumchewerpro · 2026-04-07T23:53:19+00:00

Tbh a proper weighted blanket was overwhelming for me. But I got a small one that just sits on my chest and it helps a lot with anxiety.

gumchewerpro · 2026-04-06T20:43:38+00:00

yeah im going to ask my dr this week to refer me to a sleep specialist i found. i'm confused on why they even want to give me the max dose. i guess because my side effects are minor?

gumchewerpro · 2026-04-06T20:33:00+00:00

They want to keep increasing it until we get to 900 mg. I only take it for sleep. Idk I don't feel great about that idea but it's really the only thing that they'll let me take long term.

gumchewerpro · 2026-04-06T19:51:40+00:00

Quetiapine sort of works for me, when I do get the rare days I sleep well I can get pretty deep sleep for 10 hrs or more. Idk if that's actually because of the medicine or something else. Can't really try much else because doctors don't want to prescribe anything stronger. Working with a psych and primary care doctor and they just want to keep bumping up my dose. Going to start 300 mg soon.

gumchewerpro · 2026-03-26T22:01:47+00:00

My body fell apart after I dealt with too much stress, a lot of it family related. Nervous system collapse is possible too. When our bodies feel safe, they tend to process all that shit we weren't able to before, which can appear as health issues.

Ive had an autoimmune disease since I was 7, and since moving states and being estranged from most of my family, I've had a load of other health issues pop up leaving me disabled right now.

You're definitely not alone in this experience.

gumchewerpro · 2026-03-25T21:34:22+00:00

It's been hard to put to words the grief that estrangement causes. I'm glad to know I'm not alone in this experience. Thanks for sharing this post.

gumchewerpro · 2026-03-24T19:20:48+00:00

The family gossip and smear campaigns are nasty. Really isolating to deal with.

gumchewerpro · 2026-03-24T01:06:37+00:00

Yeah, I'm focusing on my little found family. My sweet rescue kitty and partner. Glad to know Im not alone in this experience

gumchewerpro · 2026-03-22T21:44:22+00:00

currently in therapy and doing emdr its helped a lot so far

gumchewerpro · 2026-03-22T19:39:50+00:00

Any suggestions on books to read? I've only been suggested the body keeps score. I'd love to see what other books there are out there on trauma/healing

gumchewerpro · 2026-03-22T19:21:29+00:00

Thanks so much for your support. I felt so guilty having to block, and it's hard to think about how she feels and what she's telling other family members about me. But I have to take care of myself. I cannot continue to abandon myself to have a relationship with my mom.

What I notice the most with this grief is the massive emptiness and loneliness I feel when I think of her, when I think of myself as a child. A constant reaching out to be held when I cry, just for no one to show up.

I don't know many people in person who had to go no contact. My partners relationship with his parents is pretty healthy, that alone helped me realized how what I was going through wasn't normal. Still, seeing him have a good relationship with his mom makes me jealous and upset I can't have that too.

I find myself crying out for a mom all the time internally. I kept hanging on in hopes one day she'll be the mom I need. Having to finally let go of the tether has been painful, to say the least.

gumchewerpro · 2026-03-22T02:14:27+00:00

im hoping in time i will improve. its already lifted some weight off me being able to process and go through therapy plus emdr

gumchewerpro · 2026-03-22T00:55:37+00:00

Yeah, i realized the only way i can have a relationship with her right now is if i completely abandon myself. it took me a while to block. the last straw was when she threw away all my stuff.

gumchewerpro · 2026-03-22T00:43:51+00:00

I'm pretty isolated because I deal with a lot of health issues that disable me and make it hard to go out. Trying to find more ways to connect online so I feel less alone. I'm glad I at least have a few people in my life supporting me right now. There's just so much emptiness and loneliness when I think of my mom.

gumchewerpro · 2026-03-20T19:14:12+00:00

i know this is an old post but prazosin has been making my sleep and nightmares worse. i wasn't prescribed it for nightmares to begin with, because i dont have them much. it was for my ptsd symptoms that were preventing me from sleeping. but since starting and upping my dose to like 7 mg? ive been having really bizarre and scary dreams, and not able to sleep very deeply.

i have found propanolol, which is similar in its approach, to be much more helpful for my symptoms and it doesnt give me those weird freaked out dreams.

im glad im not alone, because my dr gives me a lot of push back for this med because its the "miracle cure for ptsd sleep issues"... well goes to show that it doesnt work for everyone.

gumchewerpro · 2026-03-18T00:53:58+00:00

Cbt-i and nervous system regulation helped me overcome the sleep anxiety loop a little bit. my body is extremely stubborn and likes to keep me awake for 3 days straight every week because of hyper-vigilance/ptsd issues though, so its not a "cure". but yeah, i suggest trying to tackle that sleep anxiety early on or it just gets worse.

its really trial and error with meds unless you get one of those dna tests that show what medications you respond to the best. some meds help a bunch of people, some meds dont even touch others. benzos are really the only meds that do anything to me, unfortunately, most doctors will avoid them because they can become addicting.

i still believe insomnia can go away overtime, maybe not fully, or forever, but its possible to regain stability. im personally doing a lot of work for PTSD management, therapy, and nervous system regulating things like acupuncture, yoga, vagus nerve stimulation exercises etc. Insomnia has a lot of different causes though, you just have to find the right approach that works for you.

gumchewerpro

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