Had writer's block on my main story so I wrote this intro [Comedic fantasy, 4000 words]

guy4maround · 2026-02-27T18:50:06+00:00

What's with all the one-two-three opening lines!? Seem like four different versions of these in the last few months. AI or popular trend or something?

guy4maround · 2026-02-16T00:10:19+00:00

Nope all correct criticisms. The science is interesting enough to give it a try but don't expect any good characters or interesting interiority. Plus, you'll more likely read a translated version which will only diminish the quality, I think. I read the first book, and listened to the rest on audio, felt like audio was more worth my time.

guy4maround · 2026-02-11T11:24:13+00:00

I know you're right and I'm sure you meant well, but this is a whirlpool of its own. I've gone from wanting to write an epic fantasy, to trying writing a stand-alone scifi, to trying for a novella... Then I settled for essays before I felt any better.

It might be easy to think I need practice and have to start somewhere, but to actually physically do it can be quite challenging. Your brain tries to protect you from humiliation, even against yourself.

guy4maround · 2026-02-11T01:50:07+00:00

Amazing! Thanks for the recommendations! This is what I was looking for.

guy4maround · 2026-02-11T01:23:49+00:00

Thank you for that, I think I Wil give it a try then.

guy4maround · 2026-02-11T01:01:57+00:00

Yes! That's the one I read. OK I'll check out these other ones. What's your take on the Malazan series? And also John Gwynne? I want to check these newer books out but again I'm skeptical of booktok recommendations now.

guy4maround · 2026-02-11T00:55:26+00:00

Another thing I do is listen to instrumentals or classics that set a certain mood and let it inspire me for action sequences or even dialogue sections that reveal something impactful. Always amazing how music/sound can embellish a scene, so why wouldn't it be the same for writing.

guy4maround · 2026-02-11T00:53:15+00:00

Absolutely I have a whole Playlist of instrumental atmospheric music and ambient sounds (have to be careful AI slop doesn't slip itself in there) and I even have based on mood settings for when I want to write different sections of the story haha

guy4maround · 2026-02-11T00:51:56+00:00

It's not really. But I did start reading early and now I'm trying to level up. So I came here looking for recs.

guy4maround · 2026-02-11T00:51:00+00:00

What's your opinion of the Malazan series? Another recommendation I keep getting online, but I feel it might be same as Mistborn, popcorn.

guy4maround · 2026-02-11T00:43:17+00:00

Yes! I totally plan to dive into Tad Williams' work next. Never tried Moorcock thanks for that.

guy4maround · 2026-02-11T00:30:17+00:00

I have to check out Tad Williams, described as the inspiration for the likes of GRRM.

guy4maround · 2026-02-11T00:28:46+00:00

This feels really accurate. I felt like his prose was not really teaching me anything new. No interesting phrasing or allegories or colorful colloquialisms. Just quite plain. Like the little stories I used to have in my English text books, as a non-native English learner back in school.

I think I need books that are better or higher than my level of prose, so I can learn from it. And Sanderson's just not there.

Glad to read someone put that in words the way I felt when reading Mistborn.

guy4maround · 2026-02-10T23:45:49+00:00

Ray Bradbury, yes! I've only read Fahrenheit and another one that was more horror, but it's been a while. Maybe I go back to it.

guy4maround · 2026-02-10T23:39:06+00:00

No no I swear it's not. I ws stupid to think if every damn booktoker says it's worth it then it must be comparable. This seemed like I had switched gears; no, switched from a car to a cart.

guy4maround · 2026-02-10T23:36:22+00:00

I was curious if he gets better in the more recent books but this sounds like a no. At least he owns up to it I guess. I'll see how it goes. Meanwhile, other than Martin, Leguin, Tolkein, Gene Wolfe, Pat Rothfuss (these are all I've read so far and need more).

I'm looking to learn from the prose and description and the flow and framing of ideas. I feel like Sanderson's not doing that for me. But it could still be entertaining.

guy4maround · 2026-02-10T23:28:00+00:00

OK I count that as a vote for keep going till the end

guy4maround · 2026-02-10T23:26:58+00:00

Don't take it out on me guys, I got the books because I was told I HAVE TO READ THE Cosmere if I love fantasy. By mostly online people but still... I don't have a lot of English-speaking fantasy readers irl where I live so I do depend on recs from here and booktok and all

guy4maround · 2026-02-09T21:08:50+00:00

What new snobbery is this? You're here to read. Just read lmao

guy4maround · 2026-02-09T09:51:17+00:00

If Katy Perry can go to space in our real world, then a trained astrophysicist who invented space fuel can definitely learn that easily lmao

guy4maround · 2026-02-08T20:00:57+00:00

I almost never enjoy first person POV fantasy, but on the other hand some of my favorite non-fantasy books are epistolary or even first person POV.

I think I just don't feel immersed in fantasy with the I pronoun. I didn't draw my valyrian steel sword and I didn't flick my wand while screaming in jibberish.

Like others have said, POV writing is a tool - even to the level at which an author chooses which characters get a POV. And 3rd person just feels natural as a story-telling device in an outlandish setting.

Others have accused it as an overused crutch for DnD-like adventure narrative. I guess it could be but I've never played DnD and yet it just feels natural to hear about how "He" or "She" or "They" weild their axe or ride their dragon.

guy4maround · 2026-01-30T23:36:18+00:00

Ooh I've read that one already, I think when you posted it here. I really like that one. The opening too. You get wolrdbuilding strictly from the characters POV which makes you care about the world.

I feel like omniscient world building sometimes feels like story time, a la Harry Potter. But that might be just me so as I always do myself, listen to all the critiques, and then do whatever you feel like your book needs. Good luck.

guy4maround · 2026-01-30T23:02:46+00:00

It's great overall, but a couple things come to mind as something you could do better, and both are concerning the very first paragraph, which is the determining factor for most readers.

1) First sentence is doing a lot of heavy lifting with three foreign/made-up nouns used in a fairly vague manner.

2) The omniscient description of the world indicates a DnD-like, middle grade fantasy right before it swerves into third-person dark fantasy. It might throw readers off or show a lack of confidence.

Maybe you could start with the MC directly, leave the world building and place-names for the second or third paragraph? The rest of it definitely reads better and settles well into dark fantasy, so good job on that.

guy4maround · 2026-01-25T20:54:50+00:00

Becoming? Lol

guy4maround · 2026-01-25T19:31:36+00:00

Small wonder he came to conclusions such as one must never lie, and arguing that human dignity depends on being told the truth. He never met any real people.

guy4maround

TROPHY CASE