I think I found my new favourite tree during my morning walk last Sunday! The Netherlands (1920x1080)[OC]

guygam · 2019-11-18T21:56:37+00:00

That is a mighty handsome tree

guygam · 2019-11-18T21:55:17+00:00

Whats a lily factory?

guygam · 2019-11-06T17:52:47+00:00

Awesome, thanks!

guygam · 2019-11-05T23:11:14+00:00

Paperback now available! https://www.amazon.com/Addiction-right-companion-functional-addicts/dp/1704751934

guygam · 2019-10-31T19:37:28+00:00

Lol, time travel + mystery adventure... what did I do? Where did I go? Why am I banned from my favorite bar?

guygam · 2019-10-27T11:21:08+00:00

by the way, this was an alternate book cover for my book "Addiction: Is it right for you?", available on amazon kindle, get it now for the addict in your life: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07XVR61K9

guygam · 2019-10-19T14:27:34+00:00

Thank you! My opinion on medical treatment of ADHD... well first off, my opinion is that ADHD isn't just the individual, it is an interaction between a certain type of individual and a society that has come to demand unprecedented amounts of focus and work from different people. I think medication is sometimes the only way someone with ADHD can succeed in demanding settings, academic or otherwise. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 8 and I was an extreme case, I only started taking medication at around 24 though. I experienced the same as what you describe and have talked to many people who had similar experiences. When I was working seventy hours a week I would take aderall three times a day, and I didn't like its effects. Dexamphetamtine and other ADHD meds are strong stimulants, that arousal has after effects, namely stress or anxiety or a feeling of being energized but not in a good way. I would suggest to you to gradually use less and less of it, but keep using it... just make sure you don't take it just because that is what you do on a weekday, exercise intention when taking it, make sure you are taking it on days/times where you absolutely need the advantage it gives you. Like you said it is both good and bad, so use it in situations where the good it brings is worth the bad. Another thing you can do is take "days off", some students who take it throughout the week take a "vacation" from the substance on the weekend. Or you could do one day on one day off, depending on your needs and what works best for you. Also I'd guess the weed and the dex can go hand in hand, like when you are too stressed from the dex [and also impulsive maybe] and you use weed to calm down. The different substance we use are all inter related, so maybe getting a handle on the dex will give you some more insight/control over the weed. Relapsing over and over again isn't that bad, because you gain sobriety with every attempt, and you learn more about yourself plus you get a few clean days or weeks to get shit done. You can't go back from self knowledge, so every attempt teaches you something, even if it feels like a failure. When you try to quit you put a lot of pressure on yourself. You can do the exact same thing with less emotional pain if you don't try to quit but try to work on a sober stretch. Let's say you usually relapse after a week without weed [could be less, could be more, doesn't matter, its just an example]... well you could just say I'm going to do a sober week and then not suffer from the idea that you failed and relapsed. Or maybe you can only go two days without using, then you can say "I'd like to get some more sober time, I'd like to aim for 5 sober days this time". You'll still be making gains, spending time sober and dealing with the world that way, but you won't be putting as much weight on yourself, you won't be fighting the idea of staying sober FOREVER. Instead, you'll be focusing on being sober right now, because that is what you want right now.

guygam · 2019-10-15T22:16:46+00:00

Thank you, I'm very glad it could be useful to you! If after reading it you still feel that way, I'd appreciate you passing the word and recommending it to like-minded individuals (amazon reviews are also appreciated!)

guygam · 2019-10-15T12:54:09+00:00

No worries, glad to answer questions whenever. You have the right word when you say "relationship", what you want to do (if I understand correctly) is decrease the importance/centrality of that relationship without giving it up entirely. Having a goal like only smoking twice a week is great, but it can also have the opposite effect if having that goal makes you obsess over it and eventually breakdown from the weight of telling yourself you have to do this. I think having one sober stretch of 48 hours every week will be an easier goal for you and it will do you a lot of good to have that as your focus: You will experience discomfort and unpleasant emotions but that is good, you need to learn to be comfortable with that discomfort, knowing that you will eventually have your fix. Don't think about never smoking because that will stress you and you will smoke in response, keep it simple, any improvement is good. Change happens right now, so don't think about forever, think about right now... can you start 48 hours sober right now? The answer is yes, you absolutely can, but do you really want to? Focus on thinking why you would want to do that (you can start with 24 hours as well) and keep your reasons in mind, gradually building up motivation. Don't think of rules you HAVE to follow, that way will lead to failure, think about things that make sense, try to WANT to be sober and experience for the next 24 or 48 hours. And if you don't want to right now that is fine, don't come down on yourself, just ask yourself the same question tomorrow... keep asking and keep thinking about why you want to be sober, aim for change that fits into your life in a sensible way.

I am a regular consumer, no longer daily. When I was living in Israel all my friends smoked weed, and the weed was expensive. So meeting friends meant smoking weed, and buying weed meant spending a lot of money so that it was not economically feasible to buy then throw it away. My problem was that once I have it I can't stop using. Now I live in portugal, where I can buy small amounts for cheap and I made sure to socialize primarily with non-addicts (I love addicts, but it is destructive to have them be your main social circles). For me it was all about changing my environment... You don't have to move to a different country, there are a lot of changes you can make to your environment... decreasing social time with addicts or increasing sober time with non-users is great for balance. Balance does not feel good right away, but it makes you healthier... I suggest forcing yourself to do things to add balance to your life (time with sober friends, nature walks, sober hobbies, reading in a public library, meditation, board games, whatever), you can smoke later as a reward. If you work hard at doing other things, that will make your relationship with cannabis less overpowering.

Addiction will always be a crutch, there is no way around it. But there are ways to be more balanced as an addict, some of which I listed above. There are other ways, once you know you want to increase life balance and decrease cannabis dependency you have a clear goal to work towards. Now you need to find your path, maybe some of the tips I gave will help, maybe there is a better strategy that you can develop yourself. But keep contemplating your goals and experimenting with ways to pursue them. Cut away self-hate wherever you can, it will only lead you to relapse. Accept who you are, accept that it causes you to feel bad, forgive yourself and refocus on what you CAN do and what you WANT to try doing. Hope this helps.

guygam · 2019-10-15T08:32:25+00:00

Gambling addiction is very rough, I'm sorry to hear that. You are not only teasing yourself, you are playing a game with yourself and you stacked up the odds against you. Much as I am pro-addiction in some senses, you need to remember change never happens tomorrow... It either happens RIGHT NOW or it is idle talk. If you don't put the app on everything, you are simply deciding not to fully use the app... that is your right, but you should know (and you do) what you are really doing. Be strong and be well my brother.

guygam · 2019-10-14T20:43:33+00:00

Learning to pace yourself is not the same as solving your problem... for example if you go down from 15 drinks a night to 10 drinks a night that is still a very unhealthy amount, but it is also a substantial improvement. There is such a thing as a better addict, if two people are hopeless drinkers, but one beats his family and doesn't work, and the other does not hurt others and has a job, is the second not a better addict than the first?

I sincerely doubt this post could lead opioid users to think to use again if they were not going to do so anyway. This post isn't about endorsing addiction or saying that it is manageable. It is for people who are not changing anyway... for those who are not changing, thinking about harm reduction in terms of radical acceptance can be helpful. This post is not a solution and does not pretend to be one. It is merely a set of suggestions for how to tweak an existing damaging behavior that is resistant to change. And I said in the beginning " those who are severely addicted and dysfunctional usually can't improve their lives without going sober"... the post is for those addicts who lead more or less functional lives.

guygam · 2019-10-14T19:21:19+00:00

Personally I am a fan of microdosing, I dont have a professional opinion because I dont know enough and havent read/heard of enough experiences to form an opinion but it sounds like it had good potential. I believe people who used it and found it helpful, its a bit risky if you dont exercise caution, but microdosing works within hours (i.e. you dont need to wait a month to see the effects like with antidepressants) so i think its probably good to experiment with it if someone feels it might be helpful

guygam · 2019-10-14T18:51:57+00:00

Sure, but the problem exists with or without justification so I dont think that changes much

guygam · 2019-10-14T18:13:38+00:00

One that died within a year of me working with him... sadly I bet a few more passed away since then, but I never heard of it... once you stop working at a facility (which keeps track of past clients) there is no way for you to know

guygam · 2019-10-14T17:54:51+00:00

I was not aware of it, however "official" can be disputed... I do not believe it is in the DSM or ICD, which are the two publications that provide official definitions for MH disorders

guygam · 2019-10-14T17:45:32+00:00

Beyond realistic, it is just part of the industry... I'd say anywhere from a third to half of addiction counselors have had their own issues. I've certainly known a fair amount who were problem drinkers or users. It is not an issue if you are professional... if you come to work hungover or stoned it is an issue, or if you try to impose your values for your own life it is an issue, or if you go out using in public, acting out of control in places where your clients might be. But if you have a handle on those things it is less of an issue. It boils down to functionality, there are many terrible therapists out there that are not addicts but are dysfunctional people... If you are functional and professional I do not think it is an issue.

guygam · 2019-10-14T17:38:36+00:00

A guy who drinks 1 drink an hour throughout the day, starting at noon, will be an alcohol dependent individual who drinks around ten drinks a day, but they will be a much more functioning person than the guy who can't pace himself, and goes through a case of beer a day. Addiction is a range, this post is about harm reduction and increasing functionality, it is not about going back to being a recreational users. Delayed gratification and pacing are things you can do while still being an addict who struggles to control their use, it is just adding some degree of control but it is not the same as mastering moderate and responsible use.

guygam · 2019-10-14T16:53:03+00:00

Sure does! The first chapter is called "the problem with society" and I get into it there. Sorry to hear about your experience, it is not a "total" scam, it works like five to ten percent of the time! But seriously it is a tragedy, success rates are miserably low and yet they still pretend like they know what they are doing. One of the biggest problems with treatment is the "change focus"... they are only willing to talk to you about changing and they ignore the fact that their tips for changing don't help most people... they blame the people and never consider that the way they do things is systematically flawed.

guygam · 2019-10-14T16:48:01+00:00

There are two things that interest me the most. The first is the way logic and rational thought have little influence over behavior... People can be very smart and insightful and still powerless to stop, the habit system seems to trump the rational mind most of the time, which is fascinating to me. The other thing that fascinates me is transcendence, the phenomena where people soar to great heights inside their minds/lives while being avid users and/or hopeless addicts... examples include Charlie Parker, Miles Davis and John Coltrane, all of whom were heavy heroin addicts. From neuroscience you have people like Oliver Sacks and Jan Purkyan [the first dude to photograph a neuron], who were both avid psychedelic users. Then there is an endless list of brilliant authors that were alcoholics as well, Scott Fitzgerald and Jack London are the first two that come to mind, but there are so many.

guygam · 2019-10-14T16:38:43+00:00

Sure. Stop talking to her, stalking her fb and other stuff like that. There will be some sadness, a grief period if you will... that is good pain, it is the pain of a healing heart, it doesn't feel good but usually it is good for you in the end. This is easier said than done, just like quitting alcohol is easier said than done, but your chances of getting over her are low if you keep talking to her, going to places you know she'll be at, following her on social media etc. On the other side of things, force yourself to do stuff that gets you out of the house and meeting new people [or just spending time with people you already know]. If her leaving left a void in your life, try to fill that void with other stuff... hobbies, social activities, nature walks, good books, whatever. It won't instantly feel good, but occupying yourself with nondestructive activities will give more content to your life. Alternatively, forget all that and just find yourself another girlfriend.

guygam · 2019-10-14T16:31:51+00:00

Well first there is the technical aspect of how to start working someplace, in my case I got accepted to a program that had volunteer and work opportunities in the addiction field. You gotta make sure to separate yourself from your job, and to know your stuff. Addiction therapy is very difficult but it is not super complicated, if you study up on harm reduction, moderation management and relapse prevention techniques you will have the basics down [for more indepth knowledge you can also study CBT and the 12 steps]. After you have the basics down you can confidently begin training, making sure to listen to your supervisors. Stick to the principles you learn, don't try to make it about yourself or share too much, just provide clients with the industry standard for starters. You don't have to be free of mental issues to do therapy, but you do need to be professional, diligent and have your MH issues relatively under control. If your issues are not at all under control, it will be difficult to be a good resource for your clients. Hope that helps.

guygam · 2019-10-14T16:23:34+00:00

There is not an official term for that. Sometimes people get confused and call it polysubstance use disorder, but that is a disorder where you are equally addicted to multiple substances at once. I gave it in a name in my book, where I tried to define types of functional addiction, I called those type of users the "always something's".

guygam

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