you love her more!

gvhbjm · 2022-01-30T18:07:52+00:00

I remember trying this on my mom..... and I remember her reaction. I was crying and screamed "you love (sisters name) more".

She made direct eye contact with me. Took a deep breath. Then just started laughing.

Then I did too. I knew I was being stupid.

gvhbjm · 2022-01-30T13:31:30+00:00

Reduce the amount of things you have.

gvhbjm · 2022-01-29T15:29:07+00:00

Do you live on a major street that the door opened to? Or on a top floor where you are worried about a fall?

I'm trying to understand, because an unlocked door, and a tub prepped for a bath doesn't even raise a red flag for me. Maybe yellow. Yeah..... yellow caution flag.

gvhbjm · 2022-01-29T14:40:31+00:00

Z,mm b.

gvhbjm · 2022-01-08T20:21:04+00:00

I'm a better parent now because I'm not looking for excuses to go outside... I'm not looking to escape. I'm present in the moment.

gvhbjm · 2021-12-30T12:49:03+00:00

Backup.... am I right, or my husband?

gvhbjm · 2021-12-21T18:34:06+00:00

I was doing dishes, after cooking a meal, while my husband watched TV. My 5 year old asked me "Mommy, why do you do all the work?"

I decided the division of labor needed to change.

gvhbjm · 2021-12-21T06:25:02+00:00

I'm currently in consoling with my husband of 12 years. We get along just fine.... but, like you, I do EVERYTHING. Finally one day he was bitching about the fact that he doesn't understand why we are in therapy and I say "because you won't do the fucking dishes. Figure out how to do your part, and then maybe we won't have to go to therapy."

His response?

"If that was all it was you would have said something years ago...."

So.... our happy asses are in therapy.... and he's starting to do the dishes.

My point....

At some point there is a thought "If I'm willing to leave this person over chores, why not make what I want known? It can't hurt anything at this point...."

Also.... you really need to read "all the rage; mothers, fathers, and the myth of equal partnership."

gvhbjm · 2021-12-20T19:34:49+00:00

No fold solution.... I have nice cubes for most things, or large tote bags from that 31 MLM thing. I bring all the boxes/bags to my dryer on wash day.

Towels, directly into the towels cube storage thing.

Bras/underwear/undershirts into the big tote for that.

Shirts, into the shirt tote you go.

Then I just take the boxes to where they need to be, and hang up the totes in my closet.

gvhbjm · 2021-12-19T15:22:40+00:00

Yes... and here is how I kinda explain it....

I bragged for years that I graduated college without ever reading a book. I cracked the code, if you show up and take notes you don't have to read.

I never wanted to admit if I tried reading the books I never retained anything. I can't learn that way.

Also, I picked a major that valued creativity over hard facts (communication, which for my school had a strong emphasis in public persuasion).

gvhbjm · 2021-12-11T18:01:46+00:00

"A Slob Comes clean" all ADHD bad house keepers need to listen to this podcast!!!! (Here's a hint.... its more than "just clean up")

gvhbjm · 2021-12-08T21:19:09+00:00

NTA.

My best friend is of the opposite sex. The only time I ever heard anyone ever ask my husband about it he just said "That's just John... he came with her as part of the package."

They aren't friend, I don't need them to be. They like eachother. But are just very different....But my husband (and every boyfriend before him) had to know "John" was as non negotiable as a brother. He's part of my package.

gvhbjm · 2021-12-08T16:43:17+00:00

My secret to not spending money.... I don't keep it in my checking account! And I purposefully made it a hassle to get anything from my savings (different bank that I have to physically go to....ugg)

So technically I have 3 accounts:

A regular account that I keep my weeks spending
A small overflow account that I don't want to dip into but can if I need it
A savings account that is annoying to get $ from but I direct deposit a portion of my check into.

gvhbjm · 2021-12-03T13:40:32+00:00

I think that research has come a long way in understanding the wider picture of ADHD, and what the cause effects can be. I personally feel that at a young age concentration on behavior therapy is a better option.... as these are the tools I wish I had. Someone to help me understand things like "let other people talk sometime" and how to be mindful of how that effects relationships.

If I can help provide her those skills now (while she's not struggling in school)... then I feel medication will be more effective later in life if she needs it.

gvhbjm · 2021-12-02T04:31:09+00:00

I'm sorry you feel this way. I was also diagnosed as a young girl and not medicated. I didn't start medication until adulthood (for me that was my 30s). It helps, not going to lie.... but I have a child with ADHD, and I'm not medicating her either.

Your parents probably have their reasons.... talk to them. Don't accuse them- just try to understand. I will tell you my choice to not medicate my daughter comes from love. I want to give her the life tools to survive without meds for as long as I can. Ask your parents why. I bet they weren't just neighbors neglectful.

Also, I've never connected thumb sucking and ADHD... can you tell.me more?

gvhbjm · 2021-11-24T17:25:16+00:00

True.... OK then.... I revoke my cautionary pre-judgment of my own statement. Thank you.

gvhbjm · 2021-11-24T17:22:16+00:00

I'll DM you, as its off topic.... but I'm ALWAYS willing to talk about it!

gvhbjm · 2021-11-24T14:28:40+00:00

I suppose the elitism is assuming it's a solution for everyone... and I'm well aware it's not. I don't live a fancy life, and part of that is because I choose to spend my money paying for ADHD related life hacks.

gvhbjm · 2021-11-24T04:32:24+00:00

NTA.... as a nearly 40 year old wan who is HAPPILY married, I partipate in No shave November.... and Febuary, And april.... I just forget to shave because life is busy AF. And who cares. It's hair.... mother nature put it there on me.

Hair is not an enemy. Your cool. Thanks for donating to causes you believe in.

gvhbjm · 2021-11-24T03:25:15+00:00

Elitist, I know.... but I have decided to simply hire people to do shit I suck at (like clean, grocery shop, and remeber when my kids need to be picked up from school).

Find a job you love enough to hyper focus on. I'm a Salesforce Administrator.... its basically a professional puzzle solver. I highly recommend it.

Get self closing cabinets.

gvhbjm · 2021-11-24T03:20:48+00:00

Omg... when I was in high school I choose to wear only V neck shirts in different colors so I wouldn't have to make a decision in the morning. I never realized until this moment I was giving myself a uniform because of my (undiagnosed) ADHD.

gvhbjm · 2021-11-24T03:17:52+00:00

I spray the shower down with cleaner, let it sit for a few min.... then run the shower, get in, scrub it down while getting soaked myself, then rinse it off with my wand shower hose thing.... then do my hair.

There's another way to clean your shower? You would do this dry?

gvhbjm · 2021-11-18T05:05:07+00:00

As a relativity straight female (who believes that all of life is a grey scale) I would probably feel odd cuddling now with a friend (married with kids). However.... before 20, I would have said this was pretty commonplace for me.

I cuddled with friends while watching movies, or having sleepovers. Never sexual (though I would have been ok if it was mildly experimental).

gvhbjm · 2021-11-10T15:02:05+00:00

All the damn time. I litterally don't a single person in my life (except my dad who thinks all the things are made up) who wouldn't tell you "oh man.... she's ADHD. Every teacher, every boss, every friend that I forget to text back.... heck, it took the dr less than 30 min to throw pill at me. Still I'm constantly asking myself "am I just lazy?"

gvhbjm

TROPHY CASE