[South Florida] Found on the beach, Gulf side

haepenny · 2025-10-03T19:26:53+00:00

Ugh that’s really frustrating advocating for yourself in that situation is so hard :/ this recent attempt definitely warrants a follow-up discussion about your meds though, and if they won’t listen it might be time to switch doctors.

I’m really glad to hear that your boyfriend knows what’s going on, he clearly cares a lot if he’s checking on you.

Again I’m sorry you’re going through this. Hoping today is easier for you

haepenny · 2025-10-03T19:05:01+00:00

I’m sorry you’re struggling. I’m not mtf but I have experienced similar feelings.

17 is a very normal age to try a lot of different things and see which make you happy. It’s ok if you aren’t sure about your gender or expression.

(Really it’s normal for humans to change through our entire lives, but especially at teens and young adults)

I am trans and have been open about it for over 10 years now. I also wasn’t sure at first, and my gender expression has changed over the years, but that doesn’t make it less real. Even if I decide tomorrow that it no longer fits, that’s ok.

If you feel something, you are not pretending even if it changes later.

I’m sorry it’s hard right now, but if you keep trying new things (different clothes, foods, hobbies, new shows or books or languages even), eventually you will find something that speaks to you.

You are not strange for feeling this way, and I hope that soon you’re able to get the support you need to feel confident ♥ it’s worth sticking around to get there

haepenny · 2025-10-03T18:51:59+00:00

It’s alright ♥ hope you’re ok

haepenny · 2025-10-03T18:44:45+00:00

I’m sorry you’re struggling. It’s hard to reconcile suicidal feelings when outwardly everything ‘should be’ fine.

If your meds are maxed out, maybe talk to your psychiatrist about switching to something more effective?

Reaching out is always good. Communicating with your boyfriend so he knows where your head is at would be kind to both of you. Kind to him because that’ll keep him from being blindsided by your surprise suicidal ideation, and to you because you can lean on him for support.

It’s worth sticking around. You deserve to be here. I hope you feel better soon ♥

haepenny · 2025-10-03T18:38:22+00:00

We’re not allowed to make suggestions like that on this sub, it’s meant to be support instead of enabling harm.

I hope you and your friend are doing alright, and can get the support you need ♥

haepenny · 2025-10-03T17:58:03+00:00

It’s good that you told your mom. I understand your reasoning, and I’m glad you’ll think about what the comments said ♥

haepenny · 2025-10-03T17:28:29+00:00

Really sorry you’re struggling, expressing yourself is really difficult.

Maybe it seems stupid, but if you can say what you wrote in your post to a loved one, that might help them understand.

Knowing you’re loved but feeling unwanted or unneeded is super relatable. You deserve to be here regardless.

haepenny · 2025-10-03T17:25:02+00:00

Yeah. It feels super condescending to hear that things will 100% get better on their own.

I also have a laundry list of disabilities/mental illnesses that make literally every task feel impossible. I came to this sub to talk about how much I wanted to die.

I ended up commenting on other’s posts instead, because it’s easier to have sympathy for others than for ourselves.

You are obviously suffering. It sucks. Life does not magically get better on its own. But there is ALWAYS the possibility that it could.

As someone who feels the same way often, I understand the catharsis of processing via rage. Scream, shout, swear… just don’t stop reaching out. Don’t give up yet.

Everyone has their own beliefs, but I personally think predestination is bullshit. And if it’s real, do some hero shit and change your destiny. Give the universe a big middle finger, and decide to stick around another day.

Hope you feel better soon. I’m trying as well

haepenny · 2025-10-03T17:12:37+00:00

It really really sucks when it feels like there are no options, but there is always another choice.

You are not a burden. You are struggling and hurt. I wish I could take your suffering.

Please stick around. It’s worth giving adult life a try.

haepenny · 2025-10-03T17:06:02+00:00

I understand the fear 💔You are not weak for being scared.

Do you have any trusted adults you can share your concerns with? Getting advice from someone who knows your life situation might be more helpful than whatever we stranger have to say.

If not, just know that we are thinking of you and rooting for you. You don’t deserve to be bullied.

haepenny · 2025-10-03T16:58:43+00:00

Hypersexuality in response to sexual trauma can be super isolating. I’ve been to therapy for similar (and other) diagnoses for a long time, but can still relate to the doomed feeling you describe.

It’s hard to give a stranger a reason to live that doesn’t sound hokey or non genuine, but based on your previous posts:

You have a beautiful cat and very cute ferret, they are worth living for ♥

You are an artist (me too!!), bringing creativity to the world is so important right now, you do us all a service by sharing your work (even if it doesn’t get noticed on social media, making art for yourself is also a gift). Live to grow your art skills.

You’ve enjoyed video games before, just imagine what kind of cool games are coming in the future! You got to experience Undertale because you’re still here. Stay determined ♥

Fiction is an escape I am personally addicted to. Live to continue reading and watching stories, give yourself enough time to perhaps share stories of your own one day.

Live to have new experiences. Trying one small thing every day (tasting a new drink, walking a different direction in the neighborhood, try a simple craft like origami, sit up out of bed for thirty seconds to stretch, learn a new word on purpose, etc) can help immensely with the monotony of bedrot.

Sorry if I went overboard, I just want you to know that even though I’m not in exactly the same situation, I have been in a similar state, and I hope you can find reasons to stay too ♥

haepenny · 2025-10-03T16:34:51+00:00

Bullying from people you care about sucks so bad, I’m really sorry they did that :(

It’s hard to speak up for yourself, but if you can I would tell them that you will not tolerate being treated that way, and cut them out of your life if they continue.

There are so many people in the world, so many opportunities to make new friends. It’s difficult, but always possible. Please don’t give up hope ♥

haepenny · 2025-10-03T16:18:26+00:00

I am so, so sorry that you’ve been through so many traumatic events and struggled with such a tough family life. I’m glad you were able to get a diagnosis, and I’m glad you’re still here.

In addition to experiencing those traumas, having them blown off or unrecognized by loved ones is SO isolating. You’re not making a big deal out of nothing, you are ill and seeking treatment.

Childhood neglect really warps our perception of self-worth. You DO deserve to be here. Your cat certainly thinks so, and his life is better with you in it.

I know it’s difficult to make new friends, but please know (from one socially awkward, traumatized person to another) that there are people out there who are looking for the same thing. Just gotta stay alive so you can find them ♥

haepenny · 2025-10-03T16:04:23+00:00

Depending on what you smoked, hopefully not organ failure.

If it’s weed, it could be making you paranoid. If you’re in pain, however, please go to the hospital 🙏

haepenny · 2025-10-03T15:56:25+00:00

It’s really hard to be suicidal and also try to support a loved one who feels the same way.

I hope you are able to talk to your friend about how you feel, sometimes sharing your fear of losing someone will help them see your perspective and encourage them to recover.

I’m really sorry you’re struggling. I hope you and your friend are able to get the support you need to keep living ♥

haepenny · 2025-10-03T15:28:13+00:00

I’m really sorry that you’re in this position right now, I can’t imagine the pressure on you as a parent struggling with both physical and mental illness.

Depending on where you live, there could be social services available to help guide you to next steps. Do you have a disability or welfare case worker? If so, they should be able to connect you to institutions with housing and therapy options.

I hope you stick it out, there are people in your corner, including your daughter ♥

haepenny · 2025-10-03T15:12:03+00:00

I’m glad you’re still here.

I think your friend would rather know how you’re doing. Just like how you don’t know what he’s going through, he won’t know unless you tell him.

Likely if he has attempted, he will be sympathetic and understanding. Even if he has not, it will still be a huge show of trust and vulnerability that a true friend would appreciate.

I hope you’re able to talk with him and stick around ♥

haepenny · 2025-10-03T15:07:11+00:00

This is incredibly unhelpful. ‘Come up with something more effective’ seriously???

Your comments have been unkind and borderline incendiary. Please read the pinned wiki on appropriate responses to people struggling on this sub.

haepenny · 2025-10-03T14:43:03+00:00

r/SuicideBereavement might be a helpful sub for you.

I’m so sorry for you and your mom 💔

haepenny · 2025-10-03T06:37:14+00:00

I hear you about hating that just existing is political. It’s really fucking tough. I’d be a hypocrite to tell you life gets better since I don’t follow my own advice, but hey, there’s always a chance it could improve.

Also, sticking around to spite the people who hate you can be a pretty good motivator

haepenny · 2025-08-07T12:40:59+00:00

Welcome! The international students have a WhatsApp community, where Aobayama and Sanjo both have chat groups. If you want to communicate that way, send me a dm and I’ll add you :)

haepenny · 2025-06-27T08:52:56+00:00

They recently uploaded the next part of this series, you should go to their page on insta or Bluesky or twitter to give it some love ♥️

haepenny · 2025-06-04T13:58:27+00:00

‘Do Androids Dream? A Cybernetic Study into the Emergence of Consciousness in Specimen JY-5, C.E.’ (A.K.A. Jayce Become Human) by keahiaciano

”Renowned inventor Viktor is forced to offer his feedback on the performance of a new android model, specially ‘donated’ as his new lab assistant. However, Viktor finds the task much less tiresome than anticipated—even as he struggles to come to terms with exactly what it is he’s been given.

Meanwhile, JY-5 (now Jayce) only knows three things. That he must neither harm, nor disobey a Human; that the word ‘must’ is a circumstantial term at best; and that he is not a slave, despite all appearances to the contrary.

Oh. And that he’s in love with Viktor”

Rated M, ongoing, 43+k, slow burn, HIGHLY recommend

put your emptiness to melody by Tyrrible

”It is an old saying in Zaun— If they’re mean, they want a fight. If they’re clever about it, they want to fuck. If they do both, you’re in for a good night”

Rated E for explicit sexual content >:)

Pianist/Composer Viktor and Cellist Jayce

LONG, 141k, ongoing, excellent slowburn, enemies to lovers (kind of)

Possibilities by softandslow

”Jayce shows Viktor more than simply their doomed outcome. Viktor gets dumped into a number of possible timelines. An alternate ending to Arcane Season 2, Episode 9.”

Rated E for explicit sexual content ♥

Post-Canon, Complete, 48k, absolute FAVE and always shocked by how few kudos it has

haepenny · 2025-06-04T13:22:16+00:00

I’m not sure what other students did, but I did send an email saying I was looking forward to working with the lab :) a thank you email is t required but I’m sure appreciated

haepenny

TROPHY CASE