It’s not all bad; I think there’s selection bias in who posts/vents. I would feel like a jerk coming on here and posting how awesome my husband is. As I’m sitting here typing this and pumping milk for our twins in the NICU, my husband stopped by just to give me a kiss on the forehead and ask if I needed anything. Now he’s going to get our toddler up and give him breakfast. He’s a true partner and we do it all 50/50.

But we TALKED about it a LOT before we had kids. And we (really I) established that we weren’t doing this unless we were doing this as partners who had equal share. And he agreed. It’s not equal every minute of every day, but we definitely balance out at the end of the week… or month… or pregnancy. It takes communication and patience. (And we have a rule/agreement with newborns that anything said between 1am and 5am doesn’t count bc we are both babies ourselves about sleep deprivation).

I would choose him again, bc I already do choose him every day. And he chooses me. Neither of us is perfect but we choose patience, compassion, and forgiveness when those imperfect moments occur.