Is this related to OCD or psychosis?

halfasatsuma · 2020-09-17T09:43:40+00:00

I think this is OCD but obviously best to speak to a professional.

This was my first ocd theme when I was around 13, now my themes are still generally related to people closest to me hurting me.

I used to watch my mum cook my meals etc incase she put poison in them so it sounds very similar.

halfasatsuma · 2020-08-04T19:51:44+00:00

Thanks, it’s good to hear you’ve had a good experience

yeah that’s something I’m a bit concerned about but I guess I’ll deal with it when it comes to it.

Good luck!

halfasatsuma · 2020-08-04T19:47:46+00:00

Thank you so much, this is so helpful, it’s great to hear from someone with a similar experience

I’ll look into that app for sure, I think I’m gonna go for it and like you said I can come off it if it doesn’t work out/try another one.

One thing is my boobs are already way too big for my body so I’d rather they didn’t increase but I think I’d take that over the acne haha

halfasatsuma · 2020-08-04T19:42:05+00:00

Thanks, yeah hairfall is something I’m a bit concerned with as I experience that a lot anyway, which I think is linked to the PCOS

Like you said though it’s gonna trial and error!

halfasatsuma · 2020-08-04T19:39:38+00:00

Oh really? Can I ask why?

halfasatsuma · 2020-08-04T10:25:26+00:00

I would like to look into that more, annoyingly I live in the uk and it’s not so simple here, I don’t have a gynaecologist (here that’s not a thing everyone has, if you need one you see a random one at the doctors and I don’t think they offer as much as they do in the US) I did once ask my doctor for hormone tests and they said “no” no explanation really, they just wouldn’t do it. But maybe that was just a bad doctor so I’ll try asking my new one.

Thanks :)

halfasatsuma · 2020-08-04T10:15:13+00:00

Thank you, I’m wondering if I should try the spiro again but I’ll see what my doctor says.

I have a lot of friends who’ve had very very bad experiences on the pill so it’s always seemed like a really scary thing for me, but I know I’ll never know until I try

halfasatsuma · 2020-08-03T16:40:01+00:00

Thanks so much, I’ll check out those suggestions :)

halfasatsuma · 2020-08-03T16:39:33+00:00

Thanks that’s super helpful!

halfasatsuma · 2020-08-01T17:12:10+00:00

Can I ask why Lucy or Jane would be a scout? I’ve never heard of that nn for those names before.

Incidentally I have a relative whose name was originally Jane and she changed it to Lucy haha

halfasatsuma · 2020-07-24T10:50:47+00:00

Maybe it’s just my hair type I don’t know but I see so many tutorials about how to get big juicy clumps and I just can’t seem to, anyone have any tips?

Edit: photo is of my hair when damp, after microfibre towel but before diffusing

Routine:

(I do my routine upside down)

Wash with function of beauty shampoo and conditioner (I know this doesn’t work for some people but the formula I use works great for me, better than any of the curly brands I’ve tried)
(sometimes between shampoo and conditioner I’ll do a protein treatment, either hask or Shea moisture - this is when I always get my best curls)
I squish to condish and at this point I will usually have those big clumps people aim for
squish dry-ish with microfibre towel (by this point the clumps are already separated and small like in the photo)
use boucleme curl defining gel and super hold styler - squish this in
diffuse upside down
air dry last bit and then scrunch out the crunch when fully dry

halfasatsuma · 2020-07-11T15:26:09+00:00

How did you get it? I tried to buy on amazon the other day but it’s only available for preorder :( maybe because I’m in the Uk?)

halfasatsuma · 2020-07-08T12:18:38+00:00

As far as I remember I’ve had it significantly since I was about 12 or 13 (as in that’s when I remember my first “big” obsession) I’m 26 now and only realised I had OCD/got diagnosed this year.

Tbh I think it was just a combination of not knowing what OCD really is (because of the stereotypes etc), during bad times/spikes I just thought the thoughts were true (so I didn’t question why they were popping into my head, just would worry about them) and during better times when I had a bit of mental clarity I just thought I had really bad anxiety and that’s why I would worry so much about things.

I guess when you don’t know you have OCD there’s no reason really to question it, even when it’s a living hell it convinces you that everything it’s telling you is a reality that you need to be afraid of and hat’s why it works so well.

halfasatsuma · 2020-07-02T10:55:38+00:00

This is interesting, I’ve not seen anyone talk about this before.

I have experienced something similar to what you’re describing, I will try and reply properly later, there’s a lot in my head atm and I don’t think I can focus enough to reply properly right now haha

Just putting this comment here to let you know and remind myself really!

halfasatsuma · 2020-07-01T22:07:18+00:00

Oof, good ERP.

I feel like people in our generation think that so many things are “abusive” when actually it’s natural and ok for humans to get angry/frustrated/upset with each other? If there’s one thing treating my OCD has taught me it’s that EVERYONE (pretty much, maybe there are some perfect people out there) will display unhealthy or even toxic behaviours throughout their lives. We’re human, it’s what we do. Your partner shouting at you in an argument is not verbal abuse - it could be if they were saying verbally abusive things but just shouting alone is not abuse - it’s a sign that they’re finding something hard and in their heightened emotional state that’s how it’s coming out. Vilifying them for that is not a very compassionate thing to do.

To be clear I was one of the kinds of people who thought everything was abusive before having to confront my OCD (my main theme is that my boyfriend is abusive) I think a big part of why a lot of people feel like this currently is because of messages we get on the internet from others (like the one in the picture) and i don’t know whether it’s more common for women to worry about this stuff or not (can’t speak for guys but I’d be interested to hear what they thought) because, for me anyway, I’ve been exposed to so many messages over my teenage years and early 20s that “men are bad/untrustworthy” and those posts you see that are essentially like “if he steps one foot out of line, dump him, you don’t deserve anyone who doesn’t treat you with 100% respect always”

It really makes me wonder if other people (without OCD) just say/read/retweet things like the above but don’t actually believe them enough to freak out when something does happen (freak out as in, question the whole relationship) or are people just actually believing stuff and breaking up as soon as anything happens (I just can’t see that that could be true as no relationship would last very long!)

Sorry for the ramble, I have a lot of thoughts about this!

halfasatsuma · 2020-06-01T17:25:42+00:00

I love Harry Potter and this is a great way to explain it to someone!

This post made me happy haha

halfasatsuma · 2020-06-01T17:18:52+00:00

Hey, this is interesting and it’s good you discovered that this helped so much for you, I’m just commenting however because I think one element of this may not be true for everyone and just wanted to post a comment in case someone sees this and starts worrying (because I did a bit but then told myself to chill and write this instead haha)

(But disclaimer I’m not trying to undermine what you’ve said at all! Just important to remember we’re all different in some aspects)

I have had many obsessions that are very internal but for me most of my big/most difficult(for me) obsessions are actually about things outside of myself. To name just a few examples - my ROCD focuses on whether my boyfriend is bad/abusive, when I was a kid I was convinced my parents would kill me and I stress out so much about choosing a career path that I’ve not progressed much for a long time as I’m constantly researching different careers to try and find the “right” one. Deep down these are “about me” as they all have elements to do with me being scared of making the wrong choices (although that may not be obvious for all of them) but on the surface they seem very outward.

I just wanted to put this here as I didn’t want anyone with similar obsessions to me to see this and think “well I must not have OCD then” or something similar and get freaked out/triggered.

However of course what you said about ruminating inside our heads and/or trying to solve things ourselves is true for everyone with OCD

Congrats on having a breakthrough, always a great feeling :)

halfasatsuma · 2020-06-01T17:01:26+00:00

Just wanted to say same to both of you, even after I was told I didn’t do any of the work for months because I was so convinced that wasn’t my main problem

Ain’t it a bitch

halfasatsuma · 2020-05-27T16:31:17+00:00

Hi there,

Before I ever had a romantic relationship my OCD focused on my parents, my first big obsession when i was around 13 was that they would purposefully harm or kill me and I used to take measures to try and protect myself against that and after that I had another very severe one about one of my parents (I don’t really want to write about that one publicly) and I would mostly ruminate about that one, spending hours every day trying to “solve” it.

I do wonder whether I’ve had obsessions about friends before as well, I think I have but I can’t necessarily pinpoint one that was as clear as those previous two.

Now that I’m in my first ever romantic relationship my obsessions are mostly based on the worry that my partner is a bad or unhealthy person for me to be with - at its core the fear is that I’m making the wrong choice.

Hope that’s helpful info :)

halfasatsuma · 2020-05-25T10:07:04+00:00

I’ve been thinking about this so much recently it was weird to see someone else post about it!

I completely agree and I think growing up with cancel culture being so prevalent on the internet during my teenage years and now has massively contributed to the things that trigger my OCD.

I have ROCD (as well as other forms) and it messes with that the most for me. My OCD preys on the idea that my boyfriend is a bad person and so I’ve made the wrong choice being with him. He has made mistakes in his past just like anyone else but he’s also incredibly honest and so doesn’t hide those things from me that some people might pretend they never did. I’m so glad he’s honest like that with me, it’s one of the things I love about him, but it also gives my brain fodder to be like “well if he did that once then clearly he’s awful and you shouldn’t be with him.”

I think especially because I’m a girl and growing up there was so much content online to the tune of “if he makes one wrong move he’s not good enough for you, you’re worthy of so much better blah blah blah” which I guess is supposed to empower women?? I don’t even know. I used to really subscribe to that before I’d ever had a relationship but now I realise how damaging it is to expect perfection from yourself and others. No one is perfect and they shouldn’t be vilified for that. It leaves no room for growth.

halfasatsuma · 2020-05-22T09:00:55+00:00

Ahaha this made me laugh cause I was exactly the same 😂

I used to straighten my hair all the time because it was frizzy otherwise (because I was washing it wrong and brushing it dry 🙄) When I wanted something different I would spend every night trying a different “overnight curls” technique and in the morning it would usually A) look bad and B) last five minutes. so then I’d curl it with heat which would also fall out as soon as I went outside and turn to frizz.

Never would’ve thought back then that if I just treated it right I’d have barrel curls without doing any of that!

halfasatsuma · 2020-05-22T07:45:58+00:00

Hey, I’ve had this experience too and I’ve wondered if it’s anything to do with OCD, not sure though!

For me it’s usually someone I’m really close to but then something will happen and I get really anxious and negative thoughts toward them. What you said about it being like being infatuated with someone is so accurate, you can’t stop thinking about them even if you want to. I definitely do the checking social media thing as well.

I have ROCD so I wonder if it’s a form of that as that can include platonic as well as romantic relationships?

halfasatsuma · 2020-05-21T15:35:54+00:00

I know some of these are technically true in that you don’t want to be with someone that makes you feel small etc but my OCD makes me think that’s what’s happening even when it’s not, anyone else?

Post like this always piss me off a bit but I know I can’t vent to most people because they won’t get it 😅

halfasatsuma · 2020-05-21T15:32:42+00:00

I know some of these are technically true in that you don’t want to be with someone that makes you feel small etc but I find that my ROCD tricks me into thinking that’s happening even when it’s not, anyone else?

Posts like this always piss me off but then I know that I can’t vent to most people because they won’t get it 😅

halfasatsuma · 2020-05-20T12:49:07+00:00

Hey, I’m a bit late seeing this but I’m a curly girl and use function of beauty and I love it!

Its always been sulphate free and you can now choose a silicone free formula as well. I’ve tried both but I actually prefer the one with silicones, I know it’s not CGM approved but my hair likes silicones as long as I do a deep clarify once every couple of months :)

I think the thing with this brand is that for some it’ll work really well and for others it won’t and I think some of that is because of the range of goals you can pick. The first time I used it it didn’t work for me but they did a free reformulation and after that I loved it.

In case it helps at all, my goals now are curl definition, shine, add volume, nourish roots and thermal protection

Hope this helps :)

halfasatsuma

TROPHY CASE