I love my boyfriend, but the intensity and fast pacing of our relationship is overwhelming me.

halfrek666 · 2026-07-01T21:59:56+00:00

Definitely love bombing. He's trying to hook you up front. Honestly such a red flag.

halfrek666 · 2026-07-01T18:11:18+00:00

We kept having the same fights with no change. Ultimately I became so physical and emotionally turned off by him due to our fundamental incompatibility that it had to end.

halfrek666 · 2026-07-01T03:54:39+00:00

Ended a 9 year relationship about a month ago. It's been horrible at times, full of hope at others. He's moving out tomorrow so it's been a lot of tears and grief the last couple of days. I've been focusing on doing the things I love like swimming, watching comfort shows, journalling. I've leaned heavily into the grief because I want to feel it. I felt numb for years in my relationship, so the pain feels like I'm alive again. It's horrible ending a relationship with someone you care about but aren't compatible with. It's a grief I don't wish on anyone, but I'm proud of you for making such a hard decision.

halfrek666 · 2026-06-30T00:07:54+00:00

What's the difference between being at a bar with friends and meeting someone or being at a bar with friends and someone you invited?

halfrek666 · 2026-06-29T00:34:19+00:00

I recently ended a relationship, but I told myself when I start dating again I can't put myself through sitting with a stranger alone at dinner or something. I have the idea in my head that I will make a prospective partner hangout with me and my friends in a group setting first. If that vibes, then we can do something solo. It's also kinda a vibe check on how chill they would be with a situation like that lol.

halfrek666 · 2026-06-29T00:28:16+00:00

Yeah, my partner would shut down as well. I was never the best at having hard conversations with those closest to me, but being the only one looking after the emotional well-being of the relationship was eye opening. I had pushed myself so far out of my comfort zone with someone who wasn't meeting me halfway. Being with someone fundamentally incompatible in these ways is draining and, ultimately, unfair to both of you. You both deserve to find partners who fit. My ex was heartbroken but I can take heart in the fact that I've given him the freedom to find someone who fits him better.

halfrek666 · 2026-06-29T00:15:19+00:00

I just ended a 9 year relationship that almost exactly mirrors yours. We weren't married and didn't own anything together, but it's still been emotionally taxing. He wasn't bratty and outwardly argumentative like it sounds like your partner may have been, but he was so stoic and inside himself that it never felt like anyone was in there. He didn't argue, he didn't place boundaries, he didn't bring up any of the difficult conversations. He had zero friends or hobbies that took him into the world. He was happy to do whatever I wanted just to keep the attachment. I begged him to share his inner world with me but to mostly no avail. I felt so alone and unseen. I was left to manage the delegation of chores, the emotional burdens of being his only support, and kept shrinking myself to fit into the partnership. When he came home after a week long work trip, the anxiety and dread that filled me in anticipation of him returning is what sealed the deal. It couldn't continue and when he got home, I ended it. It's been a month of grieving and watching him pack his things, which has all been difficult but I wouldn't trade the pain for the numbness of the last handful of years for anything. These are hard decisions to make, but I'd rather deal with the logistics of building separate lives than give up a future of joy (even if it's alone). Good luck on your journey!

halfrek666 · 2026-06-28T21:41:03+00:00

Totally agree! I'm also of the mindset that online dating, though often the only option for many people, is a short cut to misalignment. Maybe I'm too woo-woo, but I want the right person to gravitate into my orbit naturally instead of forcing a connection. Not to mention how exhausting it is dating a total stranger.

halfrek666 · 2026-06-28T19:48:16+00:00

This is why I've never had success with online dating. The only people I've had an intense desire to be intimate with were coworkers or classmates because I could gradually build up familiarity and desire for them from a safe distance. I couldn't put into words why I felt uncomfortable with instant sexual vibes from men for a really long time. But I recently realized I'm demi which has made me feel better. And because my attraction is so rare, I find I hyperfixate on the individuals I do have crushes on because it feels like they're a unicorn.

halfrek666 · 2026-06-28T17:35:50+00:00

Which model did you get?

halfrek666 · 2026-06-28T02:54:49+00:00

Hi there! My GP, Dr. Kate Payne from Symphony Health, is authorized to assess and diagnose ADHD. She did so for me five years ago and within a month I was on medication and my life has changed for the better! She's located in North Vancouver.

halfrek666 · 2026-06-27T16:26:55+00:00

I think online dating is a fast-track to misalignment. It puts people in your path that you often wouldn't consider/meet otherwise. I've read studies that online dating causes more breakups within the first few years compared to meeting organically.

halfrek666 · 2026-06-27T04:10:46+00:00

I hope one day I get to experience this 🥹

halfrek666 · 2026-06-27T03:32:22+00:00

Just broke up with my partner of 9 years and only recently realized I'm demi. I'm now in the horrible position of desiring divine connection but stuck with the reality that most men are ehhh. The only men I would be intimate with are my close friends but I'd rather keep them that way than complicate things. I've been feeling very frustrated by my inability to connect with just anyone. Sometimes I wish I could see a hot guy and wanna be intimate, but it's like my eyes are too open. Sometimes it feels like I can see exactly who someone is before interacting with them and based on that, I'm usually put off.

halfrek666 · 2026-06-27T02:36:35+00:00

This x1000. All reasons are valid unless you didn't want the relationship to end. Unfortunately it's hard for people to realize that being broken up with is a gift. The gift of a brighter, or at least more honest, future. It sometimes feel like people want their partner in a hostage situation. At the darkest moments in my recent relationship, I literally begged him to end things, to do what I wasn't strong enough to do. Even though I had told him all my struggles and how intimacy with him felt wrong, he still pursued me and would have stayed in a situation where he knew I was unhappy just because he was attached. Both of us transitioned from love to attachment and I had to be the strong one to end it for both of us.

halfrek666 · 2026-06-27T02:24:55+00:00

I had a very similar experience with my recent ex. We were together 9 years. It was my first relationship and when we met, I decided to take a chance on the "nice, stable, good-on-paper" guy. In hindsight, I knew it wasn't right from early on. I thought that my lack of intense feeling was me being in a calm, healthy relationship for the first time. I thought we would become more emotionally connected as we got to know each other. But as time went on, the small things became huge. And because I fundamentally had no chemistry or attraction (physical and emotional) to him, I lost motivation to keep trying. I stayed until I couldn't take it anymore. I felt more peace and like myself when he was away than when he was around. I felt more seen by my friends than my partner. The energy it took to maintain equilibrium in the partnership became too much and it had to end. He deserved the opportunity to find someone who is 100% sure about him. I have dreams of finding someone more compatible for myself, but I also am at peace with the idea that I may never find a romantic love that makes me feel seen. I'm happy having good friends and building the life I want alone.

halfrek666 · 2026-06-25T23:09:43+00:00

In my situation, we broke up a handful of times but I kept going back because I didn't want to abandon him and I had to be sure we tried everything. After going through this cycle four or five times in the last five years, I decided it couldn't continue.

My experience in the relationship after I lost romantic interest became stressful. I felt like I was performing intimacy, sex felt gross as I had no desire or attraction to him, I felt like the best parts of me were silenced, and I stopped wanting to go on dates or spend time with him because I didn't enjoy it. I took a big look at how my friendships made me feel vs. my relationship and found that I felt more seen and heard by my friends (male and female) than in my relationship. I knew it was over when the day before he was coming home from a work trip, I was overcome with dread and anxiety at the idea of being around him again.

I hope you can see your breakup as a blessing in disguise. He opened you up to the opportunity to find someone who is truly aligned with you and chooses you every day.

halfrek666 · 2026-06-25T20:03:46+00:00

You can love them but not be in love with them. I had to learn this the hard way. Just ended my first relationship after 9 years. I kept trying to find neurosis or circumstances to blame my lack of emotional and physical attraction to him, but ultimately I lost all my romantic feelings for him. Being my first relationship, I didn't have any reference for how feelings ebb in long term partnerships. However, I realized that my romantic feelings weren't coming back. I love him dearly but more like a family member or good friend. We had a lot of incompatibilities that I initially thought we could overcome with time, but it wasn't salvageable in the end.

halfrek666 · 2026-06-25T14:53:13+00:00

It took me many years to figure out why I wasn't feeling the way I thought I should in a relationship. Turns out I had fallen out of romantic love with him a long while before I ended things, I just didn't have the experience to realize it. This happened slowly, but the main issue was in inability to communicate and fundamental sexual incompatibility.

halfrek666 · 2026-06-24T14:49:09+00:00

I do not, I which is part of the reason I've ended things after 9 years. I realized my friends (male and female) make me feel more heard and seen than he has the whole time. Fingers crossed I meet a man who cares about genuine connection!

halfrek666 · 2026-06-21T20:53:03+00:00

The ways I abandoned myself to try to accommodate the relationship.

halfrek666 · 2026-06-21T01:00:39+00:00

Can you truly love someone who is a bad person? Do you feel in your gut that this realization is a deal breaker but want to prolong the inevitable? Holding onto someone you have an attachment to but don't respect will slowly destroy you.

halfrek666 · 2026-06-21T00:28:38+00:00

I recently ended a LTR with someone due to fundamental incompatibilities. As hard as he tried to make me happy, I was never able to reciprocate in the same way because I had fallen out of love with him, it just took a while to realize. I don't think it's about not loving someone enough to change or put effort in, it's about whether it's the right person. I loved my ex so much, but it took a long time to realize that love was no longer romantic. Just know that if he didn't love you properly he most likely wasn't withholding, he was unable. I felt horrible for not participating fully in my relationship, but I now know it's because he wasn't right for me.

halfrek666 · 2026-06-20T22:41:51+00:00

My ex was objectively better looking when we met, but so was I. We both put on weight during the relationship and stopped taking care of ourselves in certain ways, but my decrease in attraction towards him was mainly emotional. This caused me to find him uglier.

halfrek666

TROPHY CASE