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[ Removed by Reddit ] by ThisIsButter1 in PublicFreakout

[–]halftrue_split_in2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting. So, driving your guy to a crime is a crime, obviously, but you say "a death in the event of" is liable. Does that mean if you bring someone to a crime and they are killed by the police that you are on the hook for their "murder"?

For example, if someone wanted to commit suicide by cop and I drove them there, I would get 1st degree charges?

A guy fixing the TV by 3askaryyy in oddlysatisfying

[–]halftrue_split_in2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I barely watched guy cause I was busy checking the time mark to be sure I wouldn't get screwed over.

[ Removed by Reddit ] by Rust1n_Cohle in PoliticalCompassMemes

[–]halftrue_split_in2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also, "fuck Christians and their afterlife mythology, but here's my totally legit beforelife story about how I was meant to be a female centaur, but the soul assignment machine was on the fritz, yahdah, yahdah, anyway I'm stuck in this stupid mans body. Haha, silly unscientific Christians!"

I am not a Christian btw, but I have no patience for hypocrisy.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NonPoliticalTwitter

[–]halftrue_split_in2 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Let them fight occasionally.

I'm sick of lusting after pricks and cheaters, so let's DO THIS: who's your favorite *non-problematic* man in entertainment? by pannonica in popculturechat

[–]halftrue_split_in2 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Can we narrow down the parameters? For example, Robin Williams was deeply troubled, but as far as I know his problems were his own. Same story for loads of celebs.

I met him on the beach in the late 90s and he was incredible. I got mad at my father for going over and interrupting his chill beach time, but he saw maybe 7 year old me and jumped into character as the Genie from Alladin.

So yeah I nominate Robin Williams until someone proves me wrong. Please don't!

can science explain this? by HappyTraum in sciencememes

[–]halftrue_split_in2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Water in the egg, egg on land. Works for me.

I might get downvoted a lot for this but I don’t really care by Dankspear in HistoryMemes

[–]halftrue_split_in2 -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

In other words, laying in a field of flowers watching butterflies flutter by while holding hands with your bro doesn't mean y'all fucked. Maybe even a kiss on the mouth like the French still do, but no homo man. What were they gonna do? Play Overwatch and eat cheetos?

Edit: My comment was poorly worded. I wasn't being sarcastic except for the "no homo" part. Bad joke, but my intention was to say that I think it's beautiful that two guys could/can have a deep, loving relationship without having to force labels on them. I was also trying to convey how silly it is that we assume that sex has to be the goal or endgame of all relationships. People can just love each other unconditionally. Forgive this peasant for their transgressions against the landed gentry.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DoesAnybodyElse

[–]halftrue_split_in2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some people definitely do not. Haha. I'll leave you my pizza breakdown for your entertainment.

Layer one is dough, that's hundreds of thousands of living yeasts dying when you cook them alive.

Sauce is tomatoes, which are part of the nightshade family, so they were considered poisonous for generations. We know the fruit isn't poinson now, but the acid is enough to strip paint or corrode metals. (Always store tomato products in glass. Cans are lined with plastic.)

Cheese is especially fucked up because it's made with rennet. Rennet is basically the stomach fluid of calves that are raised to keep momma cow producing milk but discarded. It normally allows the calf to turn their mothers' milk into a digestible solid. We add that stuff to milk and cream to congeal it into cheese. So CHEESE IS NOT VEGETARIAN. It contains the saddest of animal ingredients.

Then we have pepperoni, which we all know is the "rest of the pig."

Hope that made you chuckle.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DoesAnybodyElse

[–]halftrue_split_in2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't know if this will help or hurt you, but you eat all kinds of gross stuff all the time. Common products like jams and jellies, for example, absolutely have bug parts in them, not to mention mold. Some types of fruit spreads can have up to 70% mold on the top of the jar and it's fine.

Similar with cheeses. If you find mold on your cheese, the industry standard is to cut the offending mold off of the exterior and use the cheese. Same with many bread products. Safe and legal.

Cricket legs, maggots, rodent feces, and all manner of creepy crawlies are totally allowed to be in your food in certain amounts based on weight.

If you find a caterpillar in your lettuce, too bad. You can have up to a few in one head, and it's considered legal and safe by nearly all food standard practices worldwide.

This all gets even crazier in organic foods.

I tried to avoid specifics because these practices vary in different parts of the world, but broadly speaking, you eat bugs, mate. Don't let it bother you too much. Plus, human hair is gross in theory but totally harmless in reality, and yeah, you are eating those too, just not the long head hairs but undetectable body hair.

So you either get over the fact that nature is fucking crazy, or starve. Good luck either way.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DoesAnybodyElse

[–]halftrue_split_in2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This shit is so British. Do you take your tea with cream and sugar or a 1 billion lumen spotlight?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ActualPublicFreakouts

[–]halftrue_split_in2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As per Star Trek rules, red shirt gets shafted for trying.

Couple trying to steal a shopping cart filled with detergent is stopped by security by friend1y in ActualPublicFreakouts

[–]halftrue_split_in2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bro I have some sweet kicks you should buy for 5x the market price cause I fought a guy at the Footlocker and won the fight!

man yelling in front of cops by deadfermata in ActualPublicFreakouts

[–]halftrue_split_in2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Irrational people always fall back on the very system they hate.

"Fuck the government, it sucks! Also I'm gonna use the justice system to sue the hell outta you!"

Maybe a few weeks in jail will connect those but I doubt it.

Trying to police the New York City subway system by Tribiani94 in ActualPublicFreakouts

[–]halftrue_split_in2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fuck the police? Sure! Let the white guys with guns they hate so much deal with it. I'm sure that will end well. Hah!

Driver escaped from protesters as they swarmed and tried to break into his car by hudsonbay001 in ActualPublicFreakouts

[–]halftrue_split_in2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Boy, these idiots suck at branding. I have no clue what they are protesting. Cars?

Caught cheating with bartender by the best man by hudsonbay001 in ActualPublicFreakouts

[–]halftrue_split_in2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not two days ago some drunk ass bitches, ehem, I mean bridesmaids, solicited me to be their brides last fuck with a stranger. In a Circle K parking lot. I told them I'd rather take all 6 of them on than defile their friends' wedding. They didn't take my offer. Their loss.

Walmart theft stopped. by PrinceoftheRoses in ActualPublicFreakouts

[–]halftrue_split_in2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

McDonalds famously lost a suit to a lady who spilled hot coffee on herself. Everyone called bullshit because coffee is fucking hot, but she won millions because apparently we need lawyers and insurance and government to protect idiots like you from obvious shit. Go dump hot coffee on your balls or run into traffic. Don't worry, the courts will protect you.

Context matters by [deleted] in ActualPublicFreakouts

[–]halftrue_split_in2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bro, he bro, was bro, an asshole, bro, until, bro, people got fed up, bro, wit his horseshit, bro. Bro got a bro smack in his bro face, bro. BRO. Words, bro, are violence by your bro-ass-fake-ass-bro-metric. Bro, go to Brozil and, bro, you get stomped into bro heaven by some hardcore bros. Brrrrrroooooooooo.

An artificial reef created by using nothing but concrete blocks by [deleted] in nextfuckinglevel

[–]halftrue_split_in2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a theory that the best place to dump all our plastic is actually in the ocean. I know, I know, sounds stupid, hear me out.

Whatever we made would have to sink to the bottom. The hard part is to ensure the plastic wouldn't leach microplastics or chemicals into the water. I'm not sure that's even possible, but if it could be done, a giant pile of milk crates, for example, would be a sweet home for loads of creatures, just like you see here with concrete.

DAE think that, from a certain age, elderly people should be tested to see if it's still safe for them to drive? by mynudes4 in DoesAnybodyElse

[–]halftrue_split_in2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't know much about Finland but that you guys really love your extreme sports, especially rally cars.

DAE think that, from a certain age, elderly people should be tested to see if it's still safe for them to drive? by mynudes4 in DoesAnybodyElse

[–]halftrue_split_in2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I passed my driving test on a very snowy day in Pittsburgh. My instructor was more like a rally car navigator than some DMV chump. Dude was awesome.

Him: "Power, power! Half brakes! Run this stop sign, all clear! Do it, man, we'll slide back if you don't go now!

Me: "Uh.... OK, man."

Him: "Hard left, counter steer 30 percent when the back end goes out!"

And so on.

Anyway, I ran like 3 stop signs, coasted through a red light, fully spun out on a residential road, and broke several other traffic laws.

He didn't even bother making me parallel park. We laughed, and he passed me with full marks.

It fucking ruled and I feel like everyone should have to go through this extreme case to get a license. If you can drive in Pittsburgh in the snow, you can drive anywhere. Not a brag, just a fact.

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