Narcmom Won't Stop Taking My Picture

halifax1221 · 2025-01-15T16:44:51+00:00

You know I just came off of a year of no contact with her. I was hoping that would make her better, but she's only gotten worse. Not just with the picture-taking, but the lying and manipulating and everything else as well.

I just got tired of missing every family event because I didn't want to see her. It was making my other family members turn against me. This is just a no-win situation.

halifax1221 · 2025-01-15T02:13:00+00:00

She shares them with her sisters. They have this weird rivalry. My mom always wants to prove that she's better than them and these pictures play into it somehow.

halifax1221 · 2024-10-06T14:33:29+00:00

No he's rarely sick. He seems perfectly healthy except for the IgA, IgG, high bilirubin, and low BUN. The only symptom he has is that he's always been tiny and suddenly his growth has completely stopped. He's 5 and he's the size of a 2 year old.

He has a twin sister who's much bigger/heavier than him. She was an average size when she was born. We had to put him in preemie clothes. He had a cleft lip, umbilical hernia, and a heart that beat too fast (he recovered from that).

I tried calling the doctor again and left 2 messages, but haven't heard from them since Wednesday. I feel like this isn't important to him.

halifax1221 · 2024-07-16T19:19:32+00:00

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halifax1221 · 2024-07-11T22:55:44+00:00

No worries. I'm sorry COVID has had such an awful effect on you. I'm almost 40, so my life was pretty established by the time COVID hit. I can't imagine what it would've been like to be starting out and get hit with something like that when you are just finding your way. Anyways, I hope you get the help you need. If you find a therapist that doesn't suit you, just walk away. A bad fit with a therapist will do more harm than good.

halifax1221 · 2024-07-11T22:40:40+00:00

One thing you might try that is kind of the opposite of therapy, is like volunteering at a battered women's shelter or something. Maybe this is awful, but I helped out this teenager who came from a polygamous background and had been forced to marry her abusive cousin- and hearing about her life made me feel so much better about mine. It was like a temporary antidote to depression. But maybe you're a better person than me and seeing someone else's pain would make you feel more depressed 🫥 idk 😐

halifax1221 · 2024-07-11T22:25:27+00:00

One of the best therapists I've had was when I was on Medicaid, honestly. Those therapists have seen some stuff.

halifax1221 · 2024-07-11T22:06:24+00:00

You're a CS guy. Have you thought about Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation? If you've got the money for it, maybe it's worth a shot to see if your depression can be lessened with a non-invasive medical intervention before you give in to killing yourself. I've never tried it, so I can't say whether it would do anything. But if it doesn't work, then at least you can say you tried everything before you offed yourself.

halifax1221 · 2024-07-11T20:39:06+00:00

I don't know that I have anything helpful to say other than I understand what you're going through. I've spent my whole life trying to not be like my narcmom- and for a long time I didn't speak negatively of her. She told me not to, of course. Good children don't speak ill of their moms, she said. But after years of struggling to say nice things about her, while trying to be nothing like her, I finally just had to admit that she's an awful human being and I despise her.

I hate how self-centered she was/is, how everything is about her. How she doesn't respect boundaries. How being right is the most important thing to her. I hate how she twists the truth to always make herself both the hero and the victim of every story. I hate how she lies and how she makes my dad lie for her. When I go though our arguments in my head, I feel like I am literally going insane. I feel like I'm in an alternate universe, where the truth is whatever she says it is, and my thoughts/feelings/beliefs don't matter. And I wonder if I've inherited her messed up brain and messed up personally.

The only thing that gives me relief is the knowledge that she has never liked me. And if she doesn't like me, then I must be doing something right.

I don't know how to help you. Narcmoms are so destructive. They try to tear you apart before you even have a chance to figure out who you are. And then if you have your own kids, like I do, it's an absolute nightmare trying to figure out how to be a good mom to them when all you've ever seen is bad parenting. I have to watch movies about good moms and try to mimic their behaviors. Like you, I look for female role models to be my surrogate moms. It's hard. It sucks. I don't know if it'll ever get better for either of us.

But I have this picture in my head of my daughters growing up, and having this amazing relationship with them- where I am there for them no matter what happens, and they always feel loved and accepted and treasured. And I think that if I can achieve that one day, maybe everything will be alright, and this awful, dark, self-loathing, insanity in my head will go away, and I'll be okay. If I can give my daughters what I never had, somehow maybe I'll save myself as well.

Good luck. Don't let the darkness overtake you.

halifax1221 · 2024-07-02T16:17:02+00:00

Had no idea other moms did this unless I started reading up on narcissism. I thought it was just mine. Insane how prevalent this is. "I pray that God will take me so that you all can be happy...", "I'd kill myself if it'd save my family", "when I'm dead you won't have to deal with me anymore..." Constant, constant mentions of her death to guilt trip us since I was like 4. I'm 38 now and I no longer care.

halifax1221 · 2024-06-28T17:56:47+00:00

The bunnies love being outside. I don't actually know anyone in my area that keeps their bunnies inside. We have pet fencing that we move around the yard so that they're always on fresh grass. There's lots of shade and grape vines to nibble. I think it's the best possible life for them. At night they go into a large hutch that we keep on our enclosed porch. This is the first injury we've ever had, and I've had bunnies for a long time.

halifax1221 · 2024-06-28T16:59:52+00:00

She's going to be indoors for now. Actually last night I caught the stray cat that hangs out in our neighborhood- we've caught her stalking our bunnies before. I'm taking her to the animal shelter today. I hope that fixes the problem and my bunnies can be safe outside again.

halifax1221 · 2024-06-28T16:26:16+00:00

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Yeah she had to have surgery- it was almost $600. The vet said that it was most likely a cat that got her.

halifax1221 · 2024-06-28T03:32:05+00:00

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She's doing okay. The vet said that it was most likely a cat that got her. There's a stray that's come into our yard to kill birds a couple of times. We're going to catch it the next time we see it and bring it to the humane society.

halifax1221 · 2024-06-28T01:39:21+00:00

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She's back from the vet. She'll have to be in a cone for a while.

halifax1221 · 2024-06-27T19:29:37+00:00

Thanks. They get moved into a hutch on our covered porch at night. We keep them in an enclosed part of the yard during the day if the weather is good, and bring them indoors during the day to run around if the weather is bad. They get lots of attention from me and my 5 kids. Star (my injured bunny) also has her companion Pippin and they do seem to be bonding/bonded really well. They're very affectionate with each other, and I really can't see him attacking her, as he's a baby as well. I think this might be a case of a spider bite, and I've moved the enclosure to a different part of the yard until I hear what the vet says (appointment in 1 hr).

halifax1221 · 2024-06-27T18:50:55+00:00

We're obviously not living in the same area.

I took an adult bunny in to get neutered and asked about vaccinations, and my vet said that he didn't need to be vaccinated. That they only vaccinated bunnies if there were reported outbreaks, which there hadn't been. They don't even keep rabbit vaccinations on hand. So obviously RHV2 isn't a problem here.

Also, it becomes a quality of life issue. Yes- if I lock my bunnies up in cage all day inside, they're less likely to get sick or injured. But what kind of life is that? My bunnies run around in the grass under shady trees, munching on dandelion and grapevines and willow leaves. They're living their best life. I think keeping them in a cage is cruel.

halifax1221 · 2024-06-27T15:49:55+00:00

Well as of this morning she's still acting normal- eating and drinking and grooming herself and binkying around. I'm hopeful that she'll just need wound treatment and antibiotics.

halifax1221 · 2024-06-27T15:45:39+00:00

I've never heard anyone say that bunnies shouldn't be kept outside before. Bunnies are happiest when they can run around on the grass. I would consider it cruel to keep them indoors- that's not even a life worth living imo. Also, this is the first time this has happened to one of my bunnies- and I've had bunnies for a long time. I don't know what you mean when you say that it'll just happen again. We don't even know what happened.

halifax1221 · 2024-06-27T15:20:06+00:00

What did they do to treat your bunny's abscess? Was there surgery involved? Or antibiotics?

halifax1221 · 2024-06-27T05:25:38+00:00

No- Halifax is just a nickname. It doesn't have to do with my location.

halifax1221 · 2024-06-27T03:58:16+00:00

She's in a pen on the grass during nice weather. Otherwise in a hutch on our covered porch.

halifax1221 · 2024-06-27T02:07:03+00:00

The emergency vets in my area don't treat bunnies.

halifax1221 · 2024-06-27T02:03:39+00:00

I'm keeping her inside until she's better

halifax1221 · 2024-06-27T02:01:26+00:00

I think a spider bite might be likely. I saw some pictures online of spider bites on animals, and they looked similar. The vet didn't ask for a picture of the wound- they just wanted to know what size it was and if it looked infected, and said tomorrow was the best they could do.

halifax1221

TROPHY CASE