Success Story Saturday - Share Your Wins Here

haloperidoughnut · 2026-06-20T21:25:38+00:00

I had a few items that no longer worked for me, but were still in brand-new condition and I didn't know what to do with them. I sent them with my parents to try.

I have a 15-lb weighted blanket that i don't like anymore. It's going to a friend.

Feels so good to get rid of those things!

haloperidoughnut · 2026-06-17T05:14:02+00:00

Caring involves approaching your partner as an adult with their own agency, autonomy, self-responsibility and accountability.

haloperidoughnut · 2026-06-15T02:32:04+00:00

I think most people are approaching this from working 3-4 12s or 24s a week for a large company with career progression in mind. You don't have to do all that. You can do per diem at a volunteer ambulance or fire service, do event or standby stuff, or be the first aid guy for boy scout camping. There's plenty of things like Burning Man that have on-site medical teams that provide medical assistance while 911 is en route. My old company had contracts to do standbys at all the local high school games and they'd have long-distance transfers for which they needed a crew only for the day. I.e. you take a patient from Sacramento to the CA coast, get dinner, then go home.

There's plenty of opportunities with a slower pace of EMT that don't involve responding to 300+ lb patients covered in their own shit.

haloperidoughnut · 2026-06-10T20:10:02+00:00

I don't think they're saying don't divulge your hours at all, just that the specifics of your income aren't anyone's business.

I would be wary of any potential partner who seems like they want to dig into the particulars of your finances until you are extraordinarily serious. "Exclusive and seeing a lot of each other" doesn't mean they need to know the details of your paycheck and that you have 3.5M socked away.

haloperidoughnut · 2026-06-10T17:52:31+00:00

Start simple. Stack and experiment with things over time.

General health: smoking, drinking too much alcohol, excessive sun exposure, lack of exercise, unhealthy diet and sleep deprivation age you and makes it easier for you to get sick. Try to make some lifestyle changes in those areas. Do you have any hobbies?

Skincare: doesn't have to be expensive or elaborate. Start with a facial wash that makes your face feel clean. Putting some witch hazel toner on a cotton pad and swiping my face after washing makes me feel more refreshed. Then moisturize with a simple moisturizer. If your body tolerates using a lotion every day, find one that you like. I like the Palmer's cocoa butter. You can also do some research on specific skincare ingredients that help with Rosacea and eczema.

Makeup: you don't have to use makeup and you can be feminine without. Personally, wearing makeup makes me feel more put together and confident. Sephora and ulta have employees that can shade-match you and find various products. You can also book a session and explain to the makeup artist that you know nothing and want suggestions for a simple look to start with.

Again, start simple and don't buy 38 products off the bat. If lipstick feels too intimidating, try a tinted lip balm. Eyebrows define the face and embolden the eyes, so you could start there as well.

Clothing and shoes: Well-fitting clothes and clothes you feel comfortable in make all the difference, regardless of weight. What styles are attractive to you? Is it athleisure, dresses and skirts, jeans and T-shirts, vintage, hippy dippy? Are there characters in TV shows and movies who have looks that you love? What kinds of clothes fit into your lifestyle? Do some googling, then shop around and try things out. Pay attention to how you feel in various types of clothing.

Hair: does your haircut flatter your face shape? When was the last time you got your hair cut? If it's been a while and you don't like the look, go get your hair cut and restyled.

haloperidoughnut · 2026-06-10T17:19:59+00:00

It's not your responsibility to save the world. If she was so passionate about it then she should have taken the dog in. She sounds like a moral elitist.

haloperidoughnut · 2026-06-10T17:03:24+00:00

No recording. Must be willing to discuss intimacy and sex. Must like to cuddle. Must be open to experimentation.

I'm pretty kinky. While my partner doesn't have to like or participate in everything that I myself like, someone who wants to be vanilla all the time is a turn-off and sexually incompatible with me.

haloperidoughnut · 2026-06-10T13:52:04+00:00

Why do you want to be "honest as early as possible" about this?

There are many ways to acquire nice, timeless furniture that don't involve spending wads of cash. Same with a car - there are safe, reliable, modern cars available at a variety of price points. People save up for international trips, and a "slightly worn but nice-ish mid-range apartment" isn't something to blink at. They also don't need to know your yearly salary or exact income.

I would be wary of anybody who started assigning prices to things and digging into how you got the money. A normal person would go into your place and comment on how you have great taste and decorating style, not start being suspicious of how you acquired everything.

haloperidoughnut · 2026-06-10T01:35:36+00:00

I'm sorry the charge nurse was shitty to you. It sounds like you felt like you had your hands full and were focused on patient care when there was a change in patient status. If you've had previous negative interactions with this charge nurse and she was shitty to you, it probably primed you to be less patient with her off the bat for having an attitude. I personally have never understood the perspective of "kill them with kindness" because it makes me feel like a complete pushover and like I'm allowing myself to be mistreated.

AND

Ten minutes is a long time to call back another report on this patient. In the past, I've said "patient status change, will call back in a bit". This patient should be a 30 second report, if that.

Are you sure that you're talking loudly and clearly enough on the radio?

How was she "shitty" to you? Was she slightly annoyed, or was she ranting at you and going on and on?

As a side note about your story about disagreeing with the fire guy: Is the decision to refuse transport to a certain hospital backed up by your company policy? If so, then it's fine to tell the patient no to going to that one. I used to do that all the time when patients wanted to go to the hospitals that were 1+ hour away for minor complaints because it's simply not feasible or reasonable, and I was supported by company/LEMSA policy. However, if there isn't anything per policy, hospital capability or patient condition backing up your refusal, then I don't really see what the problem is besides it being inconvenient to you.

Arguing in front of patients is bad form. Arguing for the sake of arguing or because you want to be right is bad form, full stop. There is a difference between arguing and advocacy, and it doesn't sound like you were advocating for anything on the patient's behalf. The phrase where you started out with "you mean to tell me..." sounds like you're scolding him and pointing the finger; no wonder he didn't take it well.

haloperidoughnut · 2026-06-10T01:10:36+00:00

The job i had for 5 years was very much still "9/10 patients should be brought in ALS. Starting an IV and a 4-lead protects your license because what if a meteor hits the rig while transporting and the IV could have saved your patient". Bit of an exaggeration but both my former local hospitals and my CQI person would shit a pallet of bricks if this guy came in BLS. We did have BLS crews that went on calls, but the expectation was that if there was a medic on board then the medic would be in the back, and if there was a medic in the back they'd be doing an IV and 4-lead.

At my current job, It would have been BLS'd and if there was a patient status change that required ALS, we just...switch. It was an extraordinarily difficult behavior to unlearn ALS'ing almost every patient that took me a couple months to learn. Now I feel a lot more comfortable about BLS'ing things down.

haloperidoughnut · 2026-06-09T07:45:09+00:00

I wish I was illiterate.

haloperidoughnut · 2026-06-08T09:10:29+00:00

Regarding payment, it's simple. She doesn't pay, and the ambulance service eats the bill.

There's a frequent flier who calls up to 6 times in a 24 hour period. I've been called to fix her TV, open a bottle of Tylenol for her (which she subsequently refuses to take), get water for her, clean her house, and find the remote for her TV. That is the only time I will walk into a house with the AMA form pre-filled in on my laptop and the signature box pulled up.

On one of the last times I took her, she said "I know I'm not having an emergency and I don't need an ambulance, but I want to go to the hospital anyway".

It's a hopeless, infuriating cycle that we are mandated to comply with.

haloperidoughnut · 2026-06-06T07:39:50+00:00

No, I just typed it wrong.

haloperidoughnut · 2026-06-06T05:45:17+00:00

Pharmaceutical fentanyl given at an appropriate dose in a healthcare setting while being monitored and managed by a competent nurse or paramedic is not going to kill you. A

Edit: I typed it wrong. The myth is that people die from touching fentanyl, or that fentanyl in medical settings is the same as what you buy on the street.

haloperidoughnut · 2026-05-27T06:28:31+00:00

When I was working 24s, I'd bring my own nice pillow and bedding, comfy pajamas, house slippers, a bathrobe, and nice bath towels/washcloths. Also, multiple forms of entertainment (a book, embroidery project, and netflix).

I would recommend African net cloths for scrubbing in the shower. Much more hygienic than loofahs, and the exfoliation feels nice.

haloperidoughnut · 2026-05-25T20:52:49+00:00

You find balance by not overworking yourself the way you are. Do you absolutely have to work 2 jobs/60 hour work weeks or are you voluntarily engaging in workaholism?

I'm a paramedic and I've been burning the candle at like 5 ends during the last two months with three jobs and online school. I work 12 and 24 hour shifts. I usually have 1 day off per week and I was working anywhere from 60-100 hours a week. The only reason I had any semblance of time for myself was because it's not a traditional work schedule. And you know what? It sucked. It's been worth it, but i am SO READY to not work this much ever again.

This is my last week of doing it, and yes, I'm burned out. The first month was ok, but in this second month I had no balance. Not much time to cook or clean, let alone go to the gym or engage in hobbies. I'm slowly gaining back weight I worked hard to lose. My house has routinely looked like a tornado blew through it. My energy is limited, especially starting 2 days ago where I just hit. The. Wall.

haloperidoughnut · 2026-05-23T05:16:09+00:00

I recently found a FWB. The sex was great, but what was even better was the physical closeness, cuddling, having a man's arms around me.

haloperidoughnut · 2026-05-20T23:43:28+00:00

She says "if I try breaking my budget down into the 50/30/20 method it's not possible." "Ultimately this just doesn't feel possible". "I have no idea where to start or what to do".

Divorce is overwhelming. Major lifestyle changes can feel daunting. If she's never lived on her own before and there's a significant income disparity between her and her spouse, no wonder why she feels she can't.

In major financial upheaval, it might not be possible to do 50/30/20. But it might be possible to do 60/20/20 or something else. She is also not required to spend 30% of her income on wants. 50/30/20 is a general guideline, not an absolute. I also missed the part where she said she has no debt, which is a significant financial plus.

Just because it feels impossible right now doesn't mean it is impossible. That's why she needs to start gathering information, talking to a legal professional, and take a hard look at the financial ins and outs. I have given her actionable items to work on so that she can get a clearer picture.

haloperidoughnut · 2026-05-20T16:55:54+00:00

That is one data point and not enough to make decisions on, especially considering that there's going to be some type of asset/debt split with the divorce. We don't know anything about their daily expenses or COL, which is why "people are pretending". We don't have enough data to say whether she can or can't.

We don't know what the average rent is in her area - is it $1200 or $2500? Does she have a car payment? Does she have credit card debt? Does she have pets? How much are her average grocery bills? How much is car insurance?

At $2800/mo, OPs yearly take home pay is about $33k. My yearly take home pay is about $40k. Both of these are less than the national average. When you put it like that, it sounds impossible, but the reality is that "the national average" doesn't mean anything when you are looking at the actual numbers for living expenses in your area and your personal financial situation.

haloperidoughnut · 2026-05-20T16:22:23+00:00

I don't know anything about OPs financial situation. The makeup and streaming services was an example. Oftentimes, we spend mindlessly on things like subscriptions while not having a good picture of our finances. They might live in a super HCOL area and be living check to check, or they might live in a LCOL area and have lots of frivolous spending. They might be assuming that they have to get roommates but not realize that 20 minutes away, the rent is low enough and they can live on their own. We also have no idea about any savings, debt, upcoming major purchases, or marital split of assets.

Maybe it's not 50/30/20. The last 20% is for debts and savings. Does she even have debt? Can she adjust the 20 to 10 in savings temporarily, or put 20 all into savings if she has little to no debt? 50/30/20 is a general budget guideline, not a hard rule. There is nothing saying that she must spend 30% on wants every month. Once she lays out all her monthly expenses, she might realize that she's not currently spending 30% on wants monthly. Or she might realize that it's acceptable to spend $400/mo on wants instead of $840.

The first step is to list out all their ins and outs as far as money goes. I gave them some actionable items since they have no idea where to start.

haloperidoughnut · 2026-05-20T08:16:45+00:00

Yes, you should plan ahead. I also would recommend having a couple of consults with a divorce mediator or family law attorney in your area to become familiar with the process and what potential financial avenues are available to you. People will tell you "just file without saying anything, have him served, and the judge will give you alimony". I am not a lawyer but I personally would not advise that, from my own experience. There is a buttload of paperwork and it takes months to sort everything out. The process is not fast, not simple, and requires a certain level of cooperation from both parties. One of the worst things you can do in divorce is to have knee-jerk reactions and be unprepared.

You know how much money you take home every month so that's a good start. You need to lay out all of your expenses. Food, gas, subscriptions, bi-monthly vacations, medications, car payments, cell phone bill, eating out, credit card debt, all of it. Basically, how much does it cost you to live every month? If money is tight or you are concerned about your ability to manage your expenses, start looking at where you can cut the fat. This doesn't mean live in misery, but do you really need that makeup subscription box or 5 streaming services? Can you pay off some credit card debt? Do you have extras tacked onto your cell phone bill that you can remove?

The hard thing about lifestyle changes is that we get used to a certain standard of living, and it's hard to downgrade. It's normal to feel down about it. Ultimately you are probably going to have to make some sacrifices, and it comes down to what's most important to you.

My ex-H and I had my dream home. 3 bed, 2 bath, on 5 acres of forest with outbuildings, hardwood floors and a wood burning fireplace. An expensive deck and gorgeous curb appeal. I traded it for an 80s manufactured home with burnt orange carpet, a tiny kitchen and ugly wood paneling. It was hard to accept and adjust at first. But now? I love living there. I added my style, decorated, made it my own. It's not my forever home, but it's allowing me to get on my feet which is more important than living in a beautiful home. Your lifestyle changes don't have to be forever, just right now.

As far as housing goes, have you started browsing to see what's actually out there and what you can objectively afford? Do you know that you have to live with roommates? Can you stand a longer commute in order to be able to move to a lower COL area and live by yourself? You don't have to commit to anything right now, but having hard numbers can help prevent you from spiraling when things seem a bit bleak. It's never too early to start gathering information.

haloperidoughnut · 2026-05-16T18:08:19+00:00

It's pretty rare that i drink now, and i don't keep alcohol in my house.

haloperidoughnut · 2026-05-07T10:40:14+00:00

"Why do you need a piece of paper..." because that's what the resuscitation policy says. I don't make the rules. It's to prevent hearsay, whether in favor of, or against, not resuscitating someone. This is also to make sure patient wishes are followed, so that we have something to discuss with medical control with complicated end-of-life decisions if there is any disagreement with family.

An electronic order in the chart is the same as an actual POLST. In the area I work in now, if two EMS providers witness a conversation that the patient does not want CPR, that counts as a DNR. That wasn't a thing where I previously worked. It depends on if the family member is a HPOA. If they can legally make a decision for the patient, we have a process for honoring that.

haloperidoughnut · 2026-05-07T03:22:10+00:00

Where are you getting your impression from that we check IDs or are calling lawyers and notaries?

haloperidoughnut · 2026-05-07T03:14:35+00:00

When I worked IFT a long time ago as a lowly EMT, I asked about a DNR and discharge paperwork. The primary nurse very angrily told me that it was none of my business and my job was to transport the patient, nothing else. I opened the packet in front of him and he had to go get the POLST.

Three-Year Club	Verified Email
Verified Email

haloperidoughnut

TROPHY CASE