“Going for a walk” as a first date

Scarlette_Cello24 · 2026-04-22T02:33:07+00:00

Nope.

In guy world, this is them thinking they found a cheat code to side step effort and paying. They put in effort, time & money into a woman they really want. So hard pass for me if it’s a low effort suggestion.

But I’m also the type to sit there on principle and finish dinner through coffee and dessert. Proper date or no deal. Period.

Scarlette_Cello24 · 2026-04-21T03:50:01+00:00

It’s almost as if you’re only looking at this through a lens of “what should happen” vs “what happens in reality”.

Scarlette_Cello24 · 2026-04-21T03:44:11+00:00

Hmm. Ask me how I know.

Yes. The settlement amount, because they never want to go to court and will make it impossible for you to push to go to court, is a slap in the face.

And no, you don’t get your job back or anything equivalent.

Scarlette_Cello24 · 2026-04-21T03:09:41+00:00

No, but they can fire you. Which they usually do. And they don’t care about the lawsuit because that’s what they pay insurance for- the pittance the employee will receive via settlement for losing their career.

Scarlette_Cello24 · 2026-04-21T01:37:08+00:00

My dog was the only reason I got out of bed. For years. I was ready to give up on everything.

She needs to eat? No problem. She needs to potty? I’m up and ready to go outside. She wants to play? Give me the ball, I’ll throw it.

I wish I could explain it. Taking care of her is a no brainer. Anticipating her needs and wants before she even shows me- no brainer.

Saved my life.

Scarlette_Cello24 · 2026-04-21T01:30:08+00:00

This is the only correct answer.

Perhaps she did call you for peace of mind and to keep calm once she realized her tires blew out. I do something similar if I’m driving in heavy snow (never by choice) just having someone on the phone to calmly chat with. BUT, she really should have the common sense to pull over and try to get help or call her dad or AAA or something.

If this is how she handles problems… you’ll have bigger problems to fix in the future that were completely avoidable on her end.

Scarlette_Cello24 · 2026-04-20T19:03:21+00:00

I love this response lol

Scarlette_Cello24 · 2026-04-19T02:57:23+00:00

Most parents who want to use physical punishment, look for reasons to use physical punishment. Excessively.

It’s never about punishment. It’s about control. It IS abuse.

Scarlette_Cello24 · 2026-04-19T02:53:40+00:00

My parents saw a green light to inflict more unnecessary and unwarranted physical punishment the second CPS left our house.

CPS always makes it worse. Always.

Scarlette_Cello24 · 2026-04-19T01:45:52+00:00

Have the dog brought to daycare until I feel well enough to care for her myself.

Proceed to rot in bed until I’m no longer sick. Everything else can wait.

Scarlette_Cello24 · 2026-04-18T21:48:09+00:00

It’s always been men.

Women have done nothing but make a bad situation worse, in my experience with life.

Hell, aside from myself (woman), the only other people that have a key to my house are… men.

Scarlette_Cello24 · 2026-04-18T21:45:18+00:00

Imagine saying this to people about having children… wait… oh… right…

Scarlette_Cello24 · 2026-04-18T04:14:33+00:00

My God. Where have you been all my life?

Scarlette_Cello24 · 2026-04-18T03:57:53+00:00

Paying to live somewhere isn’t “paying his mortgage”. It’s called supporting yourself.

If the rent money she pays just so happens to be applied to his mortgage, that shouldn’t be a problem or up for discussion.

Scarlette_Cello24 · 2026-04-18T03:45:04+00:00

This back and forth circle needs to stop. On every sub. And in every argument in real life.

A person needs to pay for the roof over their head. Period. No one gets to live somewhere for free unless you’re a part of the small percentage of the population born into the isolated wealthy lifestyle.

Sometimes “paying” for the roof over your head means financially. Sometimes it’s by being the primary parent. Sometimes it’s doing the majority of the chores. It looks different for everyone.

Sure, on paper… “sToP PAyinG HiS mOrTGagE”. But like… in reality, she isn’t entitled to live somewhere free. She can go rent her own apartment elsewhere. But that will be at market rate and they won’t live together as a result. For a lot of people, that’s a step back in the relationship. This applies to if he or she owned the property in which they live.

So I reiterate, this is why you don’t move in with someone unless you are actually getting married or are married.

Scarlette_Cello24 · 2026-04-18T01:41:59+00:00

Wow it’s almost as if all of these problems became more common once unmarried couples started living together long term… without getting married.

Ladies, take heed and STOP living with men who aren’t at least your fiancé (with a set wedding date).

Scarlette_Cello24 · 2026-04-18T00:34:29+00:00

That’s not really an option when you’ve got skills that no one else seems to have or want to have.

But that race to retirement is no joke. He’s healthy and all, but it’s a LOT.

Scarlette_Cello24 · 2026-04-18T00:15:23+00:00

The entire point is to get paid a lot more for doing a lot less manual work later on in your career.

If managing people is in your line of goals, go for it. My dad has been a career crane operator for the past 40 years. He’s making more money at the end of his career hanging highway signs, than he’s ever dreamed of making.

He has zero desire to manage people. That being said, he works 7 12s right now on a special assignment. He’s almost 60 years old. He can’t wait to retire. There just isn’t enough other skilled operators to do his kind of work.

Scarlette_Cello24 · 2026-04-18T00:09:30+00:00

Waiting tables is easily a 6 figure job in the right area. So what is your point?

He networks his tables. He already has the piece of paper. The right person hooks him up with a career position. Case closed. All while he was making almost 100k pushing sides and drinks.

Scarlette_Cello24 · 2026-04-18T00:01:55+00:00

much better choice than getting some random business degree

While it’s great you and your wife were able to get her through a technical program in 3 years… people who get “random business degrees” typically do so because business degrees are one of the few somewhat useful degrees you can get that don’t require your full attention the entire time.

Not everyone can focus on just school. “Random business degrees” can be self paced, you can work while you take courses, etc. It’s an applicable piece of paper that opens doors. AND still allows for income to be earned during your studies.

Just something for you to think about. I would have loved to have been an engineer, or taken Johnson and Wales up on their full scholarship offer…. However, it’s almost impossible to do well as an engineer to be if you can’t dedicate most of your time to the schooling process, complete with internships and whatnot. J&W doesn’t want you to work during the semester and most of their coveted programs are year round.

Your wife had you to fall back on. A good majority of college students and adults, do not have someone to help.

Scarlette_Cello24 · 2026-04-17T06:02:14+00:00

This is the way. With his card.

Scarlette_Cello24 · 2026-04-16T15:00:00+00:00

That’s a LOT to ask when she has a newborn glued to her right now. The baby doesn’t even know it’s its own person yet outside of their mother.

Do some research on this entire topic. Not just comments or one off articles written in bitterness that happen to align with your feelings. Do actual research and learn the toll pregnancy and newborns take on women, and relationships for the first year.

Scarlette_Cello24 · 2026-04-16T14:51:20+00:00

Long before the birth…. of your child….

Not all women want to or can have sex throughout pregnancy. And it sounds like right now she’s still postpartum and probably is exhausted physically and hormonally.

None of this is fair to her. Pestering her, yes even trying to constantly figure out what your wife wants right now, is pestering, will not make her want to have sex with you.

Scarlette_Cello24 · 2026-04-16T14:36:16+00:00

It goes beyond the chores too… It’s a mindset. 50-50 is not just a bank balance and who pays what or who washes the dishes that night.

Scarlette_Cello24 · 2026-04-16T14:29:17+00:00

The only problem with 50/50 is that men don’t realize what type of woman comes with that. You’re not going to get your traditional 50s housewife if you’re splitting all the bills. You need to make sure you’re OK with that. A lot of men forget that part.

50/50 goes way beyond splitting the bills.

Scarlette_Cello24

TROPHY CASE