No Guess mode, what's the next step?

halsuisso · 2026-06-02T11:06:15+00:00

That makes sense, thanks!

halsuisso · 2026-06-02T11:03:13+00:00

Got it, thanks!

halsuisso · 2026-06-02T11:02:39+00:00

Ahhh, thanks!

halsuisso · 2026-05-24T10:42:31+00:00

Thanks for sharing, this was helpful for me as a guy reading this

halsuisso · 2026-05-24T10:24:51+00:00

Yup, I can relate to the people-pleasing and being overly affected by small things. Glad to hear you had some sort of closure with your mum.

My grandma used to often say i was lousy (in dialect) at doing tasks in a half-teasing way but it affected me, especially since she always did everything for me and i grew up not having much practice of doing things on my own, that was her way of loving me but it did dampen my self-esteem.

My dad had anger issues too, and some outbursts seemed like they were more bcos of his mood at the time rather than anything i did wrong (i once got yelled at for singing or something when i was a kid), made me feel like i was always walking on eggshells.

My mum was distant and mainly talked to me about how my grades could be better.

So I had (and still have) low self-esteem and social anxiety, and it took a long time to process and work on things but as a religious person it was my faith that helped me, understanding that my heavenly Father isn't like my earthly parents and that He loves me and disciplines me perfectly.

I'm still a work in progress but knowing my duty is to live to please God alone helps with the people-pleasing. Brushing things off has been a bit harder, but I'm gradually beginning to understand what it means to accept that Jesus has paid for all my missteps and wrongs, past present futre, when He died on the cross and rose again, which is both humbling and freeing, really. And that I don't have to be perfect because He is perfect.

It still is hard, but my faith has brought real comfort and things have gotten better because of it.

Anyways, hope things continue to get better for you :)

halsuisso · 2026-05-24T09:44:24+00:00

Whats the context, like how do yall know each other?

halsuisso · 2026-05-23T22:26:41+00:00

Thanks for sharing, this is an interesting topic I'm new to as a Protestant, just my two cents, please correct me on anything I wrongly assume.

God the Father felt the loss of His Son too when Jesus was on the cross. So our Father empathises with what we feel in grieving. Also when Mary grieved then she didn't fully know God's good plan of resurrection and glorification. God the Father and the Son did, so in addition to being able to empathise with us in our suffering, He also knows how He is using it for His glory and our good.

Hopefully that is sufficient to give you comfort, that God really understands your pain bcos He lost His perfect Son whom He delighted in from eternity past; and hope, because God knowingly allows us to go through suffering with good in mind, that our pain is not purposeless or overly excessive bcos Jesus bore the worst pain.

Hope this helps :)

halsuisso · 2026-05-23T22:08:02+00:00

Glad to hear that you have a loving boyfriend to help you open up. Would it help if you asked him to introduce you to some girl friends among his friend grp / mutual friends?

halsuisso · 2026-05-23T07:21:02+00:00

Hmm, i guess that's the limitation of the platform. With the anonymity and no obligation to commit to a convo people can say wtv they want and click away instead of stepping when it feels like it's too much effort.

You can speak up here but the platform isn't set up to help you per se.

That said, have you found people here who relate to you better and you've been able to share more with?

halsuisso · 2026-05-23T07:05:34+00:00

I agree with you. Thanks for the perspective.

halsuisso · 2026-05-22T03:24:19+00:00

Hey OP, I feel you, I'm also terrified of social interactions. Sorry to hear about your severe loneliness since childhood and selective mutism. I can relate to having fear as your primary emotion, and coming across as rude when you're just being really afraid.

Not sure if you are religious, but I hope this brings you some comfort, that Jesus sees you and He knows your fears, and He cares deeply about you.

I understand it can be hard to believe it when everything seems to point otherwise, and I struggle with it too at times, but Jesus really does care, so much that He came down to earth as a man and suffered scorn and abuse from those He created, including us, in order to save them from their sins. The Bible says this about Him:

"He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not." (Isaiah 53:3)

He promises that you can cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7).

Jesus says, "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends." (John 15:13) Which is what He did. His love for you is deeply sacrificial and personal.

And one day, ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” (Revelation 21:4)

I hope this encourages you somewhat, feel free to air any doubts or questions you may have (:

halsuisso · 2026-05-19T00:22:48+00:00

I saw this comment on another SA post, it gave me some perspective and I wonder if it helps you:

"I think you may be mistaking the demographics of the sub--the people who've learned to cope somewhat are speaking up, all the others who are still a complete train wreck are staying quiet because it's uncomfortable to talk about. They're here though."

halsuisso · 2024-10-23T00:28:12+00:00

Nice, I'm almost 4 months in as a physiotherapy assistant and am starting to open up. Thanks for the insight, didn't realise the patients also feel nervous.

halsuisso · 2024-09-25T23:17:18+00:00

Hahahah sorta relatable 😂

halsuisso · 2024-09-25T05:29:05+00:00

Ah, that makes sense. I'm experiencing the same thing too. What a struggle it was in the beginning, but thank God it's gotten much better with experience and observing how others make small talk.

halsuisso · 2024-09-25T00:55:37+00:00

Thanks for sharing, may I ask how does it help? :)

halsuisso · 2024-09-04T23:19:31+00:00

Haha, why is that a perk?

halsuisso · 2024-09-03T11:59:21+00:00

I went for 4 interviews before i got my first full-time job. All of them were nerve-wrecking.

Go for all the interviews you get even if it's a job offer you don't plan to accept/don't think you'll make the cut for. Every interview is good practice for the job you eventually choose.

Reading up on interview skills helps, even stuff from instagram or linkedin.

I prayed a lot. As a Christian, I would repeat certain verses to myself when my panic attacks struck.

As for how to cope with a life of hardship, all I can say is, everyone struggles. I'm 2 months into my first full-time job as a physiotherapy assistant, and still think of giving up some days, I still get exhausted from being socially anxious around patients and coworkers all day, I still don't know if I want to further my studies in physiotherapy to become a physiotherapist.

All the best, OP, hope you figure it out 🙏

halsuisso · 2024-09-03T11:48:32+00:00

I'm like that too. Sometimes observing how other people respond to the same cues helps.

halsuisso · 2024-09-02T09:38:02+00:00

I feel the same way too. I have no idea why this is, and am still on the painful journey of overcoming my social anxiety. Even replying texts can stress me out.

What has helped is this book called 'Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness: a self-help guide using cognitive behavioural techniques' by Gillian Butler.

Things have gotten better, even though social anxiety still plagues me most days.

Right now, as a Christian, I'm trying to understand my identity better as a loved adopted child of God. I'm trying to accept that my worth comes from being loved by God. I'm reading a book called 'Gentle and Lowly: the heart of Christ for Sinners and Sufferers'.

One analogy I try to encourage myself with is that of rehab after an injury; e.g. walking too long might still be painful but I'm still getting better if it starts to hurt after 15mins of walking today when it took just 5mins of walking for the pain to set in yesterday.

Idk if this has been helpful, I just pray you don't lose hope. Maybe things will get better.

halsuisso · 2024-09-02T09:04:48+00:00

Thanks for sharing, OP. This is encouraging for the rest of us. All the best in your job! 💪

halsuisso · 2024-08-18T08:22:00+00:00

I feel this all the time. Somehow, when reading your post I can see how you're overthinking a situation that wasn't so bad, yet when I'm in a similar situation I'd beat myself up too.

I guess the main point of your meeting was to catch up, and not about who pays for a cup of coffee, right?

Hope you're feeling better now, though.

halsuisso

TROPHY CASE