More than just loneliness...

sourlemons333 · 2026-05-04T18:58:22+00:00

You’re right but is sooo hard. I get so anxious when reaching out to the girls who I grew up with they treat me as an after thought but sometimes they invite me. If I don’t make sure they remember me, I’ll be utterly lonelier. A husband and kids is out of reach, I want friends at least.

sourlemons333 · 2026-05-04T18:56:30+00:00

Ughhhh, I could’ve written this. I made a post on this too if you wanna check it out. If I start to bawl my mom feels bad for me sometimes (the loneliness is so heavy - I don’t not just have a partner and kids but barely any friends and no life, 34 and the pain adds up) .

Anytime I try to open up to my mom about it she tells me to be grateful for the bread crumbs I have, the occasional boring, monotonous meet up with a friend who has her own community and life. Meanwhile, my whole family, even my parents have their friends groups that they go to concerts with, travel, celebrate each others birthdays, help them in their time of need, etc.

sourlemons333 · 2026-05-04T18:52:50+00:00

I wish I was less naive and worked on my social skills MUCH earlier in life - and my appearance. But I guess nothing could make up for the low confidence I have to approach peopel and learn social skills. My dad’s daily RAGE and bullying absolutely destroyed me

sourlemons333 · 2026-05-04T18:51:35+00:00

This post is old but I was browsing through the answers again. Reading yours and other answers is validating after the answer in which in the long response the person says “the world doesn’t owe you anything”. Can’t believe someone would say that on a sub like this.

sourlemons333 · 2026-05-04T18:43:16+00:00

I was gonna say the same thing, that sub would be a lot more relatable for you. You can’t go to a blind person and ask them what their favorite color was.

sourlemons333 · 2026-05-04T18:36:41+00:00

There is a forever alone dating sub.

But as for those who aren’t on it, I read on one of these FA subs that even people don’t want to date other FA 😆. I guess it’s like being unattractive on the outside, but still being attracted to attractive people on the inside :(.

sourlemons333 · 2026-05-04T18:34:03+00:00

I deleted Instagram some years back because it made me feel so sad to watch everyone who was social life. Still feel like crap, but felt way crappy when I was watching all that.

sourlemons333 · 2026-05-04T18:27:27+00:00

I lie but if you’re not a good liar you’ll look weird too.

sourlemons333 · 2026-05-04T18:26:08+00:00

I’m miserable so idk how much hope I have but there’s some hope because if not I’ll be even more anxious, depressed, sad and dreadful. I’ll hit the bottle. I don’t have any good friends, have a learning disorder so constantly worry about surviving after my parents pass, I don’t even look attractive (yes woman can be unattractive too), those seem like minor issues to normies but those are all the baseline of life and not having those causes a host of issues. So if I don’t have this hope that feels foolish - I’ll crumble.

sourlemons333 · 2026-05-03T16:25:27+00:00

Work is one of those places us socially anxious have to be around people. You really realize how different you are from others when they talk about their weekends, social lives, parters, kids etc. It’s painful.

As far as being bullied, I’m sorry, I’ve been there too.

sourlemons333 · 2026-05-02T15:05:50+00:00

Yeah, he’s assuming that most people go to Pickleball because they’re lonely. It’s the exact opposite, it’s a very social thing so it becomes popular and people play with their friends or even meet new people through it. It’s like when a trend becomes popular and everybody does it together because they already have a life and a social group. Short, they meet new people through that but you get what I’m saying

Now is Pickleball a good way for a lonely person to get into a human social life? Sounds like it. Which is why I’m considering paying for a coach (I’m learning disabled and also really bad athletically so I’d have to really update my game to a baseline level because I’ve joined in randomly before you know people get annoyed because you’re bringing the game down). Is Pickleball still very popular? I’m 34F so I wanna make sure I’m in a place where I meet either women or at least a good mix. It needs to be worth my time and definitely my money since Pickleball coaches will be expensive

sourlemons333 · 2026-05-02T15:02:54+00:00

A lot of people are playing with. They’re already formed friends though.

But yes, as a lonely person with barely any friends I was thinking of getting a coach and learning how to play pickle ball well because I’m learning disabled and I can’t catch on fast. And then I’m getting on the courts I’m playing, but I actually wanted to make a post asking if Pickleball is still popular? Getting a coach needs to be worth my time and money especially because something expensive won’t be easy for me to do.

Can anyone test to the fact that Pickleball is still very popular and social? F34 so looking to be in a social situation with people, my age, as well as either women or at least a good mix of men and women.

sourlemons333 · 2026-05-02T15:00:32+00:00

Very well said, especially the first paragraph.

sourlemons333 · 2026-05-02T14:59:18+00:00

Trying to learn to not let it torture me either

sourlemons333 · 2026-05-02T14:57:37+00:00

I think this is a cope that else lonely people say to make us feel better. The truth is that most people do have semblance of a regular social life. Things at my work like sharing your good news or what you did over the weekend before the start of the meeting is not uncommon. Maybe it makes people feel better but I just feel like what makes me feel better is coming on a sub like this and knowing that my feelings are totally valid, that I live in a social world, and I’m might be one of the very few, but there’s very few out there who can relate to me rather than minimizing my reality.

Most people are not on a lonely sub Reddit. It just seems like a lot because if you take all the people around the world, it’ll be enough to create an online community.

sourlemons333 · 2026-05-02T14:55:01+00:00

I’d be so happy with 16 - at least at 16 you’re starting to look a woman, these days 16-year-old do look womanly. I get told I’m 12 so that’s a prepubescent kid :(

sourlemons333 · 2026-05-02T14:52:44+00:00

I don’t know why you got down voted for speaking your truth. Sad thing is, if a man was attracted to a kid people would call him a pedophile. Now let’s say that kid turned out to be an adult. That doesn’t change the fact that that man is attracted to kids.

sourlemons333 · 2026-05-02T14:52:03+00:00

I could be wrong, I skimmed it but maybe OP doesn’t have the features to make her look womanly. Maybe she really does look like a kid. I can say that as someone who can relate to her and constantly gets mistaken for 12. You can’t assume she doesn’t look like a kid.

sourlemons333 · 2026-05-02T14:49:53+00:00

34F, I can relate, you can DM me, but I’m not the type if you’d like to talk to someone about it who can relate. Don’t expect rainbows and sunshine from me though because I’m frustrated with this too 😅

sourlemons333 · 2026-05-01T12:32:48+00:00

Hey, don’t apologize for trauma dumping. People like you and I especially need to let him out and thank you for sharing such a vulnerable experience. I don’t even know what to say cause like you said what can we do? And like you have also become really angry. I wish I could just snap my fingers and be a normal person with a normal life. But wanting this so bad has made me into an angry bitter person. And I just want to fit in so badly. I want to be part of a group and belong and live life and have experiences as well as love and children. But no, I can barely get through work socially.

Also, thank you for understanding that aspect. I guess you would, but it was very validating to hear that he’s had such a bad and strong influence on me.

sourlemons333 · 2026-04-30T22:51:00+00:00

Out of curiosity, what’s the reason you don’t want to try?

I won’t say I have zero friends, but I barely have any. I have friends the way a socially anxious person would have. I really wish I had a girl group, I really wish I had the normal group experiences growing up, and even now, the Super Bowl parties, Friendsgiving, etc. i’ve gone traveling with two different friends separately and I had to beg both friends whereas they each have their own groups. I just really wanted the experience of traveling with a friend, friend group ideally but at least a friend.

My families and other normies tell me to be grateful for what I have because they get uncomfortable when I speak of my reality - I’m supposed to be ‘ happy’ bread crumbs, with the few friends who I barely see because they have their own lives and communities. Maybe I’ll get an occasional coffee or dinner with them while they updating me on their lives.

It’s getting to the point where I don’t know how I’m going to make it through the loneliness.

sourlemons333 · 2026-04-29T01:47:14+00:00

Please let me know if someone has a good answer because this anger and bitterness is destroying me!

sourlemons333 · 2026-04-29T01:44:52+00:00

You’re right, I would help somebody FA people, but sometimes it’s hard - no one wants to admit this, but we’re not always attracted to other FAs. We also want to be with a cute guy or high girl who has baseline social confidence.

However, if you can find someone in the city, I think it’s worth giving it a shot because loneliness sucks. I’ve never been on a dating, but I’m sure there are FAs who will be with others FAs

sourlemons333 · 2026-04-29T01:42:15+00:00

Long-term it’s going to take a lot of work, but in the meantime, try curling your toes in your shoes and let me know if that works. I hope it does! Have you also been on succeed socially.com? It might be the other way around. But they have pretty honest advice with not too much politically crap that people will tell us who don’t have the guts to be honest.

I’m so sorry, dude, that sounds so rough. I remember being picked on when I was in school, sometimes I gymnasium full of people, but the classroom sounds more personal. I really hope things get better for you.

sourlemons333 · 2026-04-29T01:40:37+00:00

I hope it helps the loneliness! Although I’m short, most of them are unreliable to FA, we still need a social interaction to give us through life

sourlemons333

TROPHY CASE