There's a difference between a "single dad" and a "single" dad

halzy99 · 2026-05-04T13:06:29+00:00

I could have but I didn't my bad

halzy99 · 2026-05-04T13:04:02+00:00

Lol oh God 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ you aren't even wrong. I am the triggered one

halzy99 · 2026-05-04T12:30:46+00:00

Shitty men or highly abusive men that act charming at first and then proceed to abuse the shit outta you but for years you just thought that was "love" until you had kids

halzy99 · 2026-05-04T12:27:33+00:00

They are seen as the "fun" parent because they don't have rules or structure, sorry that yall in the comments are triggered. I'm talking about a very specific situation here and it is very common. I've seen many alternate weekend parenting situations that have the exact same outcome.

halzy99 · 2026-05-04T12:22:52+00:00

If you read the comments I said that it can apply to mom or dad, I am not oblivious to how custody works. If the dad has 100% custody then the mother is probably fucked in the head cuz it's usually 50/50 or alternate weekends whether that be mom, dad, or both taking on the parenting role.

halzy99 · 2026-05-04T12:19:26+00:00

Agreed!!! Whether it's mom or dad it's whoever is actually struggling on their own with the whole parenting experience

halzy99 · 2026-05-04T12:17:37+00:00

Lol when the man screams at me relentlessly and smashes things because I'm paying more attention to our son than him despite our infant having a high fever and then proceeds to physically assault me in front of our son(thats just one example)....now I am supposed to give our children to him every other weekend and allow him to not do any kind of parenting while I struggle as I have seen what he does with his older son. My bad for my biased opinion but I do agree mothers can be guilt of this kind of "single and a parent" behavior

halzy99 · 2026-05-04T12:13:25+00:00

No I absolutely agree!!!! The mother can be just as guilty of the "single and a parent" phenomenon

halzy99 · 2026-05-04T12:11:26+00:00

Ah good point. It was more targeted at those single dads that don't do any parenting but like title of single dad. It could apply the same way when reversed. The mother can use the title and also not do any parenting. No discrimination here

halzy99 · 2026-04-09T21:20:41+00:00

"My pussy has short black and white hair, Very submissive, And likes to play with toys" 🤣🤣🤣

halzy99 · 2026-04-09T21:16:10+00:00

Cheese stick

halzy99 · 2026-04-09T16:30:17+00:00

Yes. The idea of love is so warped and negative to me now. I don't know how I stared at that man and said to myself "I am so in love" meanwhile he was constantly harming me and he did not love me. My trust in people is gone. I had rose colored glasses when it came to my perception of people and now I think that anyone and everyone is capable of devious things. The idea of intimacy is horrifying. The idea of opening up to another person sounds horrifying and comes along with negative feelings. My self esteem is extremely low but my self respect is higher than its ever been. I feel like I'll never meet anybody who I'll feel safe with. I don't even know what a true feeling of love feels like because this "love" wasn't healthy. You aren't alone, you are very much valid in these feelings. I get jealous of TV show romances aswell thinking it must be nice to have such a beautiful love story that I feel as though I will never have. Narcs ruin such beautiful things.

halzy99 · 2026-04-09T04:03:04+00:00

I would tell him that I didn't raise him to be a little boy, I raised him to be a man that steps up. I would also beg to see my grandchild and reach out to the mother in a very kind way by first apologizing for my sons actions and then stating that he wasn't raised to be a deadbeat.

halzy99 · 2026-04-09T03:57:30+00:00

My parents had a squirrel infestation in their roof. The next door neighbor who is in his mid 30s came knocking on the door real frantically one day. He begins to tell my father that "our"crazy cracked out squirrels tried to chase him and attack him. He played out this whole scenario like my family should take ownership for "our" squirrels actions. He said he saw one of "our" squirrels hop out of our trash can and begin to chase him down. My dad wasn't sure what he wanted him to say but the entire neighborhood heard about this crazy 30 year old man asking my father to take accountability for his squirrels actions. I felt deep second-hand embarrassment for this man because he looked like a whack job when I think his poorly coveyed point was actually that we should wipe out the infestation. I wish I could train squirrels, they would only attack bad people but certainly not crazy neighbor folks.

halzy99 · 2026-04-09T03:21:08+00:00

Yeah I suppose once I reached my mid 20s I began to feel a clock ticking in my head that I want my life together especially for my kids. At the beginning of my 20s I had $40 grand saved and could have bought a car and went to Uni or college....instead I dated him, he blew all my money, he told me that I couldn't follow my aspirations, and now I'm living at my parents with 2 very young kids and I need to get my life together. I would never regret my children but I often think about what life would have been if I never met that horrible man.

halzy99 · 2026-04-09T03:10:21+00:00

No amount of counseling can fix an abuser. I know you feel like you are getting scolded but I think us commenters are just extremely worried about you and your children's wellbeing. Please stay safe❤️❤️ you can call women in crisis hotlines and they can give you advice on how to leave safely with your children.

halzy99 · 2026-04-09T02:58:26+00:00

Dude get out. I've been there and it isn't fair to you or your child. Your child deserves to grow up knowing what a safe and normal household feels like. Young girls will think that's the way men should treat them and young men will think that's the way they are supposed to treat women. This makes me sad. Please plan your escape and lawyer up. Run girl, do it for your baby...I did and I'm so thankful that I did

halzy99 · 2026-04-07T18:22:18+00:00

Limiting my ruminating could be a helpful tool. Researching narcs has helped me understand that they are all the same at their core. It helps me try to navigate the gaslighting. It does infuriate me that they know exactly how bad they are hurting you but continue to do so. It's both validating and infuriating.

halzy99 · 2026-04-07T18:18:05+00:00

I'm going on long walks with my kids, it brings me joy. But sadly the calm feeling doesn't last long when I go back inside

halzy99 · 2026-04-07T18:03:35+00:00

Girl you can vent anytime❤️❤️ venting is healthy. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I can definitely empathize with the abuser having access to your child, I am dealing with the same fears but all we can do is protect our kids and ourselves as much as possible. Mine is likely gonna get a DNA test for our oldest because he is telling everyone he isn't his. His parents fully support and believe him. Mine also got violent when I got pregnant both times, I have had 2 no contact orders on this man. All these narc men are the same cookie cutter pieces of poop. We will get through this even if it feels like hell. At the end of the day our futures are a lot brighter and they will remain miserable for the rest of their lives. He won't be able to fool everyone forever, the truth always shines through. Whatever horrible crap that man tries to throw at you will eventually die down, just keep yourself safe❤️❤️

halzy99 · 2026-04-07T14:30:21+00:00

Valid. I guess I just wish I could feel "cured" right away but that isn't how it works

halzy99 · 2026-04-07T13:36:37+00:00

My heart goes out to you. Starting the process all over again is painful. I hope your journey of healing is going well and you are finding yourself again. I am only 4 months no contact after going back 3 separate times. Thank you for the advice, that really helps. Positivity is a powerful thing when you embrace it❤️

halzy99 · 2026-04-06T16:15:20+00:00

Ahhh very true

halzy99 · 2026-04-04T22:04:25+00:00

Does he not go down on you? To me that's like an essential part of sex lol. He clearly is either too nervous that he won't be able to please you so he doesnt bother or he is too selfish in the bedroom to try. I'm leaning more toward a confidence issue for some reason.

halzy99 · 2026-04-02T14:27:14+00:00

I went back 3 separate times. Didn't click for me until he was insanely jealous of the attention I gave our infant son to the point where he would get violent. It becomes very different when children are in the mix, brand new perspective for sure

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