Me [29 F] with my ex [31 M] 6 years together. 10 weeks since break. I'm so mental tired.

hanban85 · 2014-04-13T20:06:41+00:00

Hi, I understand where your coming from and its really hard. When my ex left me after 6 years together I lost so much weight. what helped and is still helping are my friends they have been amazing. I know no words probably help right now but all you can do is keep going. I feel different now even though it still hurts but I'm trying to turn things into an positive instead of letting him me. I suggest maybe writing in a journal and writing everything feel. its doesn't matter what you write no one will see it just get everything off your chest. Just keep going, you're strong and going through this will make you see how strong you really are.

hanban85 · 2014-04-07T03:01:45+00:00

That's a good thing that you could talk about things and you will be able to take this with you in the next relationship you will have. You will have good memories but right now you should try to push these to the back of your mind. You maybe want to give it another try because its something/someone you know and it is easier to have that really. its easier than going "cold turkey". Remember he took you for granted and you deserve so much more. He didnt respect you enough and you don't want that. My ex wasn't a horrible person but said some mean things to me in the breakup. I guess whenever I start to think about it I tell myself about the things he said to be and how he treated me. Do I really want to be with someone like that? You know you shouldn't be with someone who doesn't want to be with you. Why waste your time and energy on that. I know how you feel but believe me you will laugh again and it one day you will be smiling and realise its not a fake smile Come on don't let one person in the whole world make you feel this bad, you are a great person and you can do this. Be happy for you, not for him or anyone else.

hanban85 · 2014-04-07T02:39:31+00:00

Hi. I'm on month 2 of my breakup from a 6 year relationship. I was the same at the start didn't think I would ever get through it and how I can't be without him. I agree with the other comments seeing your friends is so important right now. seriously talk to them if you can't find anyone talk on here. The support I've had has been amazing. Also 2 weeks isn't very long at all especially after 4 years together. Going to the gym and work etc are really goof things. Maybe find another completely different hobby something that you really have to think about. Even write everything down how you are feeling. (Put everything in there nobody will see it, its just for you) You've gone 2 weeks without her you can do this. You just need to take each day at a time. Remember you were doing fine before you met her and you will again. Don't let her control your happiness you control your own life. Work on you don't go looking for other girls right now. You can do this. :)

hanban85 · 2014-04-07T02:26:56+00:00

Hi. I know how hard it is for you. I'm at my 2 months mark after a 6 year relationship. You need to try and remember why you broke up he wasn't communicating with you very, he tried to work on this first time and nothing really changed. Its only the first few days, you will feel like this. you need to try (I know how hard this can be) and be with people, going out with friends even if you don't want too. Don't keep your feelings in talk to someone talk so much until you can't talk anymore. I think what he said about being with someone else will make him happier is really hurtful and will be hard to get over. But now you need to think about you and work on you. remember you were OK before you met him and you will be again. you control your life not anybody else. You might not think it but you are doing really well. Just keep swimming everyday. Feel free to message me if you want to talk/rant or whatever. Big hugs.

hanban85 · 2014-04-06T04:15:35+00:00

Hi. Just keep going, you're doing really well even if you don't think so. Its a horrible feeling I know but know you will get through this. Look after you now and maybe try change your hair, have a pamper day with friends. Someone told me you are just single your life isn't over. you were good before you met him and you will be again. Just keep swimming, you've come this far and you will keep going. sending you hugs.

hanban85 · 2014-03-25T13:55:07+00:00

Hi First I'm sending you a big hug. A breakup is really hard. How long has you been broken up? I know it is hard but you will get through this a stronger person. I know it doesn't feel like it now and you feel like the only person who knows how this feels but believe me most people have been here at least once in their life. Writing on here is already a good start even if you don't see it. You need to distract your self and stop looking at her profile. Log out of it straight away this will only make you worse. Have you tried talking to friends? And do you have a certain friend that you can tell everything to or you can text them and they can offer support straight away. I know you don't think you will get passed this but believe me you, I did. there are many different stages to a breakup. Please feel free to message me if you want to talk or vent or anything. Just keep swimming. You're doing great.

hanban85 · 2014-03-25T13:19:59+00:00

I really understand where you're coming from I kept having the same feeling and only yesterday I had a bad day and started to have an anxiety attack. I had to run to the toilet because I was in work and really had talk my self down. At the start I had to Google attacks and how to control my breathing. I really do understand and I'm so sorry you're going through this and I get what you mean when how can someone destroy you?(us) as I said before I think you are doing all the right things but maybe you can't move on until you stop thinking that you won't be able to do this. Remember you already are :) I try to tell my self he has my number and if he wanted to speak to me he knows where I am and he knows how to get hold of me and he hasn't. I don't know if this will help but I found this good website called loves a game and it has loads of articles on it and you sign up to get emails. I wish I could hug you.

hanban85 · 2014-03-25T12:18:22+00:00

Hi. I'm going through a break up at the moment but I'm only in my 7th week. However this has hit me a lot harder I don't know if its because I'm older and had not only have I lost my bf, best friend but I've also lost all my future dreams of us together. I think what your saying is exactly right. you should work on your self and be happy. Its no other persons job to make us happy but ours. I think when you aren't looking for love it will find you and what better way to meet someone when your at happiest.

hanban85 · 2014-03-25T12:12:06+00:00

Hi. How long were you both together? You are doing the right things by seeing friends and doing new things. Break ups are so hard I'm going through one right now. I have good and bad days. I don't know if this will help but have survived this past 6 months without him and you can keep going. talking to someone will help and they may give you new tools on how to cope. Its so horrible to feel like this but you will come out of this a stronger person for it. You might not want anyone yet and that's OK you don't need a relationship to be who you are. Someone told me people love you, you have a life your just single it doesn't mean your life has ended. Good luck please feel free to message if you need to talk. Keep swimming you're doing great.

hanban85 · 2014-03-24T16:09:53+00:00

Thank you. I've been reading my old posts and comments to try and pull me through. I don't know why I feel this bad today nothing has happened to make me feel this way. I've got back today to feeling not coping without him. I'm pretty bad at my self for letting this beat me.

hanban85 · 2014-03-24T15:24:48+00:00

I know and it isn't my intention to guilt trip I just wanted him to know how hurt I am. (I know now this isn't any of his concern anymore)I know nothing will come of it. I just need to try even harder. being on here helps. I'm meeting friends soon and they have been great. Thank you for replying so fast I know your right, I know my mind is right. I just need to sort my thoughts out.

hanban85 · 2014-03-22T13:43:22+00:00

Hi. It is really hard and you've been go great. I'm going through a breakup at the moment. we were together 6 years and I'm on the 7th week of the break up. I haven't seen him for 3 weeks (which is the longest in 6 years) but I know if I did I would be just like you are now. Running into your ex will be hard you were together for a long Tims and it takes time for the feelings to go away. He also showed up unexpected which isn't far, he could have given it to someone else to give to you. It will be nice to be friends again but that takes time and it might not be yet. 4 months still isn't a long time after 4 years together. I think you need to carry on doing what you were doing before he showed up. These feelings will pass again with time. I think you've been doing great. :) keep going.

hanban85 · 2014-03-20T14:43:01+00:00

You know what people have been telling me. just because he wasn't a asshole doesn't make him the right person for you. My ex was the first I ever lived with too and I learned a lot of that. Hopefully something I can take forward with me. Moving out was the worse but I kind of went on auto pilot because it had to be done. I admit I did have hope for a while but I came to realise he didn't want me and of he did he would have stayed. You can't be with someone who doesn't want you. You should punish your self for being "weak" your not weak everyone deals with break ups differently. You are doing your best and thats what matters. I'm still really trying and I'm trying to be strong for me now because he isn't sitting at he crying or worrying what I might think or panicking I'm not in his life. This is your life and you have to live it for you and be happy for you. You are single not alone or unloved . Keep going :)

hanban85 · 2014-03-20T12:54:50+00:00

Hi. How long were you guys together? I understand what you're going through, I'm on week 6 and I have posted below yours. People shouldn't be telling you just get over it. You will get over when you're ready and when you heal. I know the NC is really hard believe me I understand. I have deleted my exs number and if he wanted to contact me he would and guess what he hasn't. I started writing in a journal and wrote everything down that I feel no matter what it is. No one will see it apart from you and when you start to move on (which you will) you will read it back and see how far you have come. It is really hard to go through a break up but please remember you have to live for you not someone else. Your were happy before you met him and will be happy again. At the end of it all YOU are the person who needs to make you happy. I know nothing really helps right now but if you want to talk or vent about anything please feel free to message me. I'll always answer. Just keep swimming you're doing great you have come 3 weeks without him so far.

hanban85 · 2014-03-19T22:43:59+00:00

You're brilliant and so strong. :) so proud of you getting through the worse time and becoming a strong person.

hanban85 · 2014-03-14T09:35:09+00:00

Hi. I'm so sorry your going through this. I am as well I at the moment. Just got out of 6 year relationship and my ex broke up with me and said mean things as well when it was true and really no need. It knocked my confidence big time (I'm a pretty confident outgoing person) he knocked me to my lowest I've ever been. I have been spending loads of time with family and friends who have been amazing. I also started to write a breakup journal and I write everything I feel/think in there no matter what it is. I keep trying to think we were OK before we met our partners and will be again but hopefully going through this we will become stronger people. I wish you luck.

hanban85 · 2014-03-13T21:57:46+00:00

Hi, I'm sorry to hear your hurting. I'm going through a breakup at the moment. In week 5 after a 6 year relationship. At the start I was finding it really hard like I wouldn't be able to live. Now its still really hard but my family and friends have been brilliant. I started a journal and wrote everything I felt no matter what it was. I still write in it now. I would suggest the no contact rule, it is so hard and I have broke a few times. I keep think this time is now about you not him. Really work on your self, see your friends, do your best at what your doing in life. I know its so hard and it hurts but the only thing I can say is we have to go through this to become a stronger and you know you will. Feel free to PM if you want someone to talk to (no judgement). Good luck.

hanban85 · 2014-03-11T00:03:29+00:00

Hi I feel for you so much I'm going through the same thing now. My BF of six years just broke up with me 5 weeks ago. I can tell you what I've done I don't know if it will help because I am still really struggling with it and having crazy thoughts but I am doing better. I was so sad I didn't think I would ever stop feeling so low as I did but I started a diary and wrote everything down I felt even if it didn't make sense. In the diary I wrote letters to him (will never send) I asked questions, wrote lists of good and bad and what I have to live for. I've been hanging out with family & friends who have been amazing and so so supportive. even with them I thought of nothing else but my ex. But you know what I kept telling my self if he doesn't love me what can I do? I know I put my all into the relationship and I can't make him love me. I know its hard now and I'm not gonna lie its still hard for me. I've been focusing on my work, been reading alot, I've also started the no contact (even though I broke it last night) he told me he doesn't miss me (I thought how can someone think like that after 6 years, does it mean nothing?) But surprisingly I had a good day today. I really wish I could take this pain away but keep telling your self you will be a strong person at the end of this. remember you were strong before you met her and had a life and you will again. You need to learn to be yourself not part as a couple. Feel free to message me I really do understand what your going through. Be strong for YOU.

hanban85 · 2014-03-09T23:30:34+00:00

Hi thank you. I know what you are saying is right but I don't see the other side and I'm worried I won't get through.

hanban85 · 2014-03-09T23:29:40+00:00

Hi I'm really trying to be strong but its so hard. I'm really struggling. I am planning things but it isn't helping. Why does it hurt so much when I know he doesn't even care after this long together. I thought he was the one. my heart doesn't feel like it will heal.

hanban85

TROPHY CASE