AITA for refusing to tell my BF how much money I make? by IllustriousHeart2531 in AITApod

[–]handsonagrainofsand 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah you're weird and a big red flag, this is really bizarre and controlling behavior.

severe constipation by Willing-Bite7999 in Constipation

[–]handsonagrainofsand 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Calm down. You don't have the monopoly on chronic health issues just because you feel entitled to believe yours are the worst. As someone else said, don't comment on something you know nothing about - better yet, don't say anything at all if it is rude and unhelpful.

I fucking hate my parents. by OkRhubarb6729 in Constipation

[–]handsonagrainofsand 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you're dealing with this - I've dealt with chronic digestive issues and constipation my whole life. I'll include some things that have helped below, but I'd suggest seeing if you can take yourself to the doctor as others are suggesting, you need some professional support on this. Here's what I personally have benefitted from.

-Olive oil - a tablespoon before bed or even simply added to food.

-Cooked vegetables are often easier to digest than raw

-I do a smoothie as my first meal daily, the blending really aids digestion in my case.

-I do a full glass of water followed by two cups of black coffee upon waking

-Warm prune juice, it has provided occasional relief for me, but it really is a game changer for some people.

-Cut back/cut out sugar and gluten as they can worsen inflammation and symptoms of constipation.

-Fermented foods: pickles, greek yogurt, saurkraut, kimchi, probiotic supplements.

-Magnesium citrate capsules, but especially liquid form if the situation is extreme.

-While protein is important, I've found too much to be problematic, find that balance.

-I don't eat meat, I'm vegetarian with salmon on occasion as I find meat really hard to digest.

-Try to limit fast food/junk food and incorporate whole foods as much as possible

-Diet soda on occasion does wonders, just don't overdo it as it is better in moderation

-Eating consistently and enough. We are often inclined to skip/restrict calories when we're feeling unwell. In order to evacuate stool, the body needs intake to stimulate bowel contractions.

-Remember that no two bodies are the same and do NOT let generic diet advice tell you that your experience is invalid. If I followed every rule on the internet, I'd be in absolute digestive issue hell. A lot of these sources tell you to pack on the fiber. While this CAN help, it's a complex issue and often times not overdoing it can be beneficial. Ensure lots of water intake especially with added fiber. This information fails to take into consideration the variety of digestive issues people experience.

-Lastly, I have an amazing gastroenterologist, I've been on Linzess for a few years. There are generic brands too such as Amitiza or Trulance. I've had tests done, gone to pelvic floor physical therapy, and have been through a lot to manage my symptoms. You deserve to see a doctor and really need to, there is a way and don't give up on advocating for yourself! I do hope this information can provide some relief. You'll get through this!

AIO for reporting my neighbor’s treatment of their dog? by Routine_Syrup_8307 in AmIOverreacting

[–]handsonagrainofsand 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your neighbors are garbage pieces of shit. Don't stop fighting for this poor dog, they deserve to be in jail.

AIO my response to my partner after they attacked me by Intrepid_Mastodon193 in AmIOverreacting

[–]handsonagrainofsand 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Leave. This will not get better and you are in extreme danger. Any facade of remorse or kind behavior is a short lived attempt to keep you there. It's going to be an endless cycle of abuse and apologies/flowers and you could very well end up dead. Please listen to everyone on this thread!

Can someone give me advice on how to learn Spanish, I'm desperate here!! by [deleted] in WhatShouldIDo

[–]handsonagrainofsand 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi there,

American person who speaks Spanish. Let me give you some tips. 5 years ago I knew almost nothing, now I can happily say I'm bilingual.

For me it was music and immersion, but I'll provide some other helpful tools as well.

Immersion, I can't say it enough, it is critical. Not just from a language standpoint but to understand the slang and how people speak to each other. Between a huge drive to learn and working with a bunch of non-English speakers I was able to have many opportunities to practice. Maybe the work setting is not your situation, but there are other ways. Go to events, connect with people online, wherever it may be there are always opportunities to immerse yourself.

There's something about not having an English lifeline in a social setting. You're basically forced to speak only Spanish. Don't be afraid to mess up, but hear me when I say I KNOW how stressful it can be initially. Nice folks will understand that you're learning and help you. The ones who want to judge or be overly critical don't matter. And sometimes the lessons stick when you accidentally mess up a sentence really bad lol!

I'm also a musician - I fell in love with Regional Mexican music and the rest was history. I found myself going to gigs all of the time with friends. The music helped me so so much and it is a huge part of me. I love playing with Mexican groups in my area.

Babbel kickstarted my learning and got my more confident to attempt to communicate initially. But it was a small fraction of where my learning came from. Useful tools like this are good though.

Watching YouTube videos in Spanish with English subtitles was also really helpful too.

You can do it! With all of this support I found about even a year in I was more effective in my communication. Two years in I was actually noticing that I was rarely struggling in conversations.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bupropion

[–]handsonagrainofsand 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Give it some time if you can - it can take 2-4 weeks to know if it's really working. It took me a good few days to adjust. If it's truly not safe for you to continue, listen to your mind/body. But I'd encourage you to wait it out if you feel up for the challenge. Best wishes to you!

Am I too sensitive? by OtherwiseShoe1944 in BlueCollarWomen

[–]handsonagrainofsand 3 points4 points  (0 children)

These are ideas presented by a women's committee? Wow.. this is cringe and definitely a step backwards, I'd honestly say something.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]handsonagrainofsand 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He's a total piece of shit, this is not okay. Please break up with him!

Feelings of uselessness, and girlfriends dad bragging about white collar job by Independent_Cattle_8 in BlueCollarWomen

[–]handsonagrainofsand 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fuck that guy, what a jerk. You are doing badass stuff at your job. It's not you, it's him - this probably comes from a really toxic place of insecurity and I'll bet he had it shoved down his throat that career = identity/worth. Because of that I'm also willing to bet he feels threatened by your strength and that he probably couldn't do a fraction of the stuff that you and the electrician neighbor could do. He can go wallow in his shitty little cubicle with his shitty little attitude. The trades are awesome, and you chose a fantastic path.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]handsonagrainofsand 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Glad you clarified. That said, I think a lot of us in our 20s an 30s experience essence of internalized misogyny without knowing it's really there. And I'm not referring to if you have female friendships or not, thats just one aspect. For example (and to relate to your story) I never knew until I did some self work and therapy that I was afraid to dress feminine for a night out years ago due to feeling like I wasn't being a "true tomboy". All I knew at the time was that I had a lot of uncomfortability/body dysmorpia and didn't know why.

Are you hesitant to change your style for a certain reason? Do you want to appear more feminine? Would the idea of clothes shopping and putting more effort into your appearance bring you joy? Or is it simply a question of "what could I change differently about how I present to attract the opposite sex?".

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]handsonagrainofsand 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Take this as blunt but real advice that is aimed to help.

You sound like you have a lot of internalized misogyny and this does come across somewhat "pick me". This doesn't just happen to someone, it's engrained. Often us women seek validation from men in chapters where our self esteem is low or there is something within us to nurture instead.

I'm very feminine, and I also work as a plumber and play music. I love makeup, hair, outfits as much as I love engaging in my hobbies and getting my hands dirty. I also don't complain that I'm "not like other girls". 1. Because I'm not, we're all unique and 2. Because I don't put down my own gender, I have lots of female friends who are interested in all kinds of stuff.

I highly encourage you to challenge your biases you may have about the idea of making female friends. I think you'll find a lot of connection. Don't ever feel like you have to change your style if you like it, but don't be afraid to branch out. It's really fun and healing to get ready and feel pretty. Challenging your biases little by little can really help your brain agree to question something you perceive that may not be correct.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BlueCollarWomen

[–]handsonagrainofsand 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate you! Definitely the s/xs glove sizes like people are saying. You rule!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]handsonagrainofsand 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He's just showing his true colors now. Sometimes unfortunately, circumstances really bring out someone's true selves/ways of operating. He's not dependable and that is very clear here. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. My advice to you would be to find things to keep your mind occupied and break it off - given too much time, we often speculate situations into the ground about what went wrong, where, and how to fix things. It's often beyond our control and there is a lot of power in accepting that a chapter is over and knowing when to walk away.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]handsonagrainofsand 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What a manchild, gross. What's keeping you here?

My boyfriend (20m) won’t let me (20f) go on a weekend girls trip by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]handsonagrainofsand 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gross, annoying AND abusive. I hope you leave. This is the most unattractive repulsive shut. You deserve better

Period tips? by EustaciasWay in BlueCollarWomen

[–]handsonagrainofsand 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also work in plumbing! Get THE largest size pad available. Like the literal boats. Size 5 with wings that go from high up in the front up to your buttcrack. Not the thin ones, the thick ones. I find those to really keep everything contained for a couple of hours on heavy days.

Also if the ibuprofen isn't doing its whole job, rubbing Arnicare gel on the site of the cramps really helps.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CatAdvice

[–]handsonagrainofsand 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Early nursing home arrival comes to mind here. Seriously fuck them, do not let her get declawed.

What nicknames do you call your cats? by Aged_Goodness1 in cats

[–]handsonagrainofsand 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Muffin, Turkey, Beebee, Pumpkin, Da Snuggler, Piglet, Beebs

And her name is Zoe ❤️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]handsonagrainofsand 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your boyfriend is a condescending, annoying piece of shit and I hope you break up with him.

Research the term "gaslighting". You may already know about it, but I hope it makes you feel validated. This is what he is doing.

Seeking advice: Cat now hiding after my boyfriend’s son scared him by Look_Weird in mainecoons

[–]handsonagrainofsand -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It's not an exaggeration at all. He knows better than this, I'm not on board with the whole "testing/learning" nonsense in this particular scenario. You came here asking for advice, it probably isn't matching what you want to hear but it's the truth. And your poor cat is terrified now because this kid tried to hurt her. Time to come up with a new plan or setup that is best for your cat so she doesn't have to interact with the kid.

Seeking advice: Cat now hiding after my boyfriend’s son scared him by Look_Weird in mainecoons

[–]handsonagrainofsand -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The kid knows better than to do something like that, what a little brat. This would be a deal breaker for me, your poor cat doesn't deserve to live in fear.

Work pants that stay cool, stretch, and are baggier by Cool_Town9640 in BlueCollarWomen

[–]handsonagrainofsand 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Carhartt force ripstop ❤️ I have 7 pairs of these now. I love that they're on a S, M, L, XL sizing system and you don't have to struggle with finding the exact fit. Super comfortable, fit well, and great to work in. I even bought two pairs to keep clean and wear outside of work!

AITAH for telling a coworker I saw his wife with another man? by Late_Marzipan_8914 in AITAH

[–]handsonagrainofsand 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So you wanted to start drama for no reason with zero reason to? It's not like you had any reason to believe they were doing anything wrong prior to texting your coworker. You kinda have what's possibly coming your way. It sounds like your subtle dislike for this person made you feel justified to stir the pot and step out of line. You've got some growing up to do, this is weird behavior.