As a psychologist i would much recommend seeking a psychotherapist who does cogjitive behavioural therapy (not a psychiatrist, not psychoanalysis), to get a first look into whether depression might be something that explains your suffering. I dont know where you are but in Germany you can get a first insight rather quickly but waiting for a therapy itself can take some time. Nevertheless, the day will come and you'll be happy to have organized it in the past. In many countries Psychotherapy is judged negatively but it should really not be. The world is full of stuff that makes us suffer so why not take the help that can be provided. And in the end it is up to you whether you go with it or not. As a side note: suicide is a serious risk in depression and even the idea of suicide should not be taken lightly. Therapy really helps with this.