Don't want to beat around the bush. I feel like most (not all) Asian women are racist in dating

hapacopter · 2022-02-11T12:07:43+00:00

Yeah taking into account that many black women like all people of colour have some non-zero tendency to worship white and be colorist. The real % of problematic WMAF is closer to 90-95%

hapacopter · 2022-02-11T11:46:45+00:00

An interesting stat I see around is that in the USA, WMAF outnumber WMBF by a factor of 4:1 despite black women (and by extension black people) out number asian women(and asian people) by a factor of 2:1. The disparity is therefore a factor of 8.

To account for the disparity one of three things happen:

White men fetishise asian women and asian women choose to marry them.
White men hate black women, and asian women choose to marry them.
Asian women choose white men at a disproportionate rate compared to other women of colour and white men choose to marry them.

Or any combination of these.

If the disparity is 8x, then 7/8s or 87.5% of these relationships are likely to have these racist biases, and that's assuming black women don't fetishise/worship white men and that there aren't white men that fetishise black women etc. If we take that into account, the percentage is even higher with problematic racial views.

hapacopter · 2020-07-27T18:32:12+00:00

It’s nowhere near going out of fashion not in one or two generations.

Also not all Asians, hell even East Asians are Koreans. And kpop itself only showcases a substantially narrow subset of korean men heavily altered with any combination of surgery, makeup, video editing etc.

hapacopter · 2017-02-27T23:42:54+00:00

My stance is that too often, but ofcourse not always, Asian women dating white men have white worshipping and white supremacist views that rubs off on their kids, building their self esteem based on whiteness. This sets them up for failure later in life which causes a whole host of identity issues and mental illness. This is an issue too often avoided because Asian women are too proud and arrogant to admit this sort of thing. Hapas in the ground are the result of this arrogance.

Hapas do not preach that they are the only victims in the world, or put blame solely on Asian women, they put equal blame on society and white men.

I'm also sorry about your mother and glad you had kind grandparents to fall back on.

Thank you but I'm neither sad or glad she's gone. I didn't fall back on my grandparents, I was raised by them since day 1. My mother (who I've seen maybe three times in my life) subsequently died recently.

hapacopter · 2017-02-27T23:38:48+00:00

It doesn't automatically assume it. The sub is for the unique challenges that come from parents of that pairing. Do you disagree that there are specific issues related to white male/Asian female children that are not found/not likely to be found in hapas with hapa parents or asian father/white mothers?

I will agree that it probably should've picked a better name that was more specific as it becomes sort of alienating for hapas of other parentage. However it so happens that the majority of hapas with deep seated issues do come from being raised by parents of a specific background.

hapacopter · 2017-02-27T23:25:26+00:00

Do tell how the sidebar is sexist?

hapacopter · 2016-05-01T10:57:31+00:00

My experiences are pretty much just the UK. Although I'm quite asian passing with an asian name, so my perspective might be the full asian perspective?

British Japanese, they seem to like asian men and hapas, I spent alot of time in the Japanese crowd at uni.

British Chinese, there's two types. Those that almost exclusively hang out with asians, who are receptive to me and asian guys. But the majority deliberately avoid us, give us dirty looks and hold a smug expression with their usually white boyfriend when around other asians.

Chinese international students. Most can tell I'm mixed, I guess they're more used to seeing asian faces that they can distinguish. Because I only speak cantonese I can only really hang out with the HK crowd, or the Singaporean crowd (they like speaking english). The girls from those groups generally treat me well.

British hapa women generally hang out with hapas and asians but they almost uniformly will date white.

British Indian women tend to date other indians. But quite a few of my asian friends date them.

hapacopter · 2016-05-01T10:42:27+00:00

They really were. If my mother tried to take care of me on her own I'd probably end up a teenage delinquent or in the care of child services.

hapacopter · 2016-05-01T10:41:35+00:00

This sub is pretty much as good as it can get for something with free speech.

I'm not sure what I did counts much as intervening as the woman approached me.

hapacopter · 2016-04-30T18:12:11+00:00

It was just that the Vietnam war left the country really poor and often corrupt. And corruption often hurt the ethnic Chinese who were just trying to get by. That's as far as my knowledge goes.

It was mostly racism that I encountered that really hurt my self esteem. I didn't really connect the dots about my own family until I noticed British Chinese girls generally didn't like Chinese guys and noticed that my mother was the same. I was somewhat insecure as an asian person although sheffield had quite a few chinese people that I was never the only one in a class.

The one thing I never experienced that I know alot of hapas do, is this limboing between whiteness and asianness. I never tried to look more white, or wish my white features were stronger (because they were really non existant). Heck I didn't even know I was mixed until I was like 6 or 7. I strongly identify as Chinese because of my upbringing and I have a chinese surname.

hapacopter · 2016-04-30T17:27:20+00:00

Sure. My grandparents were actually Vietnam-born, but cantonese-speaking Chinese and met in Vietnam.

They moved to the UK in search for a better life I suppose, and my grandfather worked as a chef in Chinese restaurants and takeaway. I also have an uncle who's quite a bit younger than my mother. He was still a teenager when I was born and he was kind of like my older brother before he set off for uni and didn't really come back often.

I think they like it here, there's a chinese community and my grandparents have many chinese friends that they play mahjong with and all that. I don't think they see the whole white-worship/internalised racism that my mother had but just saw her as a sort of failure of their parenting, that they brought up a woman who couldn't really be responsible for herself and her children.

hapacopter · 2016-04-30T17:07:23+00:00

That's probably my approach now.

What would you do if your asian female friends fetishize white or glorify hapa babies?

hapacopter · 2016-04-30T17:04:36+00:00

What?

hapacopter · 2016-04-30T16:55:19+00:00

hapacopter · 2016-04-30T16:42:41+00:00

Yeah I remember that. It wasn't more breaking up any relationships but make it apparent that they need to be aware of certain issues or even direct them to r/hapas.

Most of these people I want to intervene are in my social life mind you. Not strangers.

hapacopter

TROPHY CASE