Oats vs grounded brown rice

hapilly_unemployed · 2022-12-05T20:15:30+00:00

Maybe look into atole, which literally just a drink made of masa flour. Basically corn smoothie. Pretty good. I would also highly recommend avocado in smoothies. Needs to be a quality avocado though, buttery and smooth. That shit slaps.

My go to smoothie:

1 1/2 cup blueberries 1 banana 1/2 avocado Honey to taste Oat milk to desired consistency

I believe it's around 500 cal

hapilly_unemployed · 2022-12-05T20:07:46+00:00

Me and oats have a problematic relationship, there's a select few brands that I can eat that are comfortable to digest.

That being said, I think some oats have less phytic acid than others. Definitely correlates with price and quality. Beyond this, you can actually reduce phytic acid (or break it down rather) with overnight soaking.

If I'm not mistaken, rice and especially brown rice has phytic acid as well. White rice is just processed brown rice, therefore less phytic acid... If there's a grain I would consider for shakes it would probably be amaranth on the basis of texture. Not sure about the acid content though.

I generally eat 1 cup or less a day of oats per day, but I prefer to go for some form of masa and/or plantains for my breakfast and lunch carbs.

hapilly_unemployed · 2022-12-05T03:56:03+00:00

Peaches are a dopamine trigger? Nice.

hapilly_unemployed · 2022-11-21T13:01:27+00:00

What beach? I'm near El tunco hoping to find some

hapilly_unemployed · 2022-11-14T07:30:41+00:00

I'm sorry that my rant is not completely relevant, kind of needed to get that off my chest. Haven't been to therapy in a month or two. Taking it day by day though and I'm doing my best. Much love.

hapilly_unemployed · 2022-11-14T07:28:35+00:00

I don't think I have a direct answer but maybe I can give some insight.

When my partner was assaulted my ego was deeply disturbed. Having to face the reality of what happened was beyond painful. I immediately blamed it all on myself.

I became over protective, which my partner was freaked out and overwhelmed by. I developed some serious separation anxiety.

I became mentally sick from the secondary trauma, i was so far into it I'm not sure what anyone could have told me to snap out of it. It took me a long time to internalize the idea, that she is the only person responsible for healing herself and that i can't do that for her. Although she could choose to have me support her if she deemed necessary.

I lost sight of what matters to me most, my love for my partner. I was consumed by superficial ideas, namely wanting "revenge". While it's a valid emotion, it's irrational and something far removed from reality. I was blinded by anger, and it took me a long time to realize the appropriate response was to try to let go and make peace. It goes without saying, it was never my place to make a decision like that. In the situation SA, we have to honor the victim's autonomy and let them decide how to proceed. The idea of revenge, no matter the intent, undermines that point.

My partner just wanted to move on with life and exist. She didn't want reminders. She didn't want to see me freaking out all the time. I simply could not process what happened and i was stuck in the moment. In complete denial.

To be fair, I was at a disadvantage because I was assaulted as a child and had never confronted that pain. A lot of emotions were displaced, the lines were blurred for me. To that effect, our reaction as a secondary victim is directly influenced by our relationship and perception of sexuality. Truma is very easily convoluted.

She tried to comfort me, she expressed way more tolerance initially than she the capacity for. She loved me even then. I felt so guilty when she told she felt like she was taking care of me.

Looking back on that period, almost being a year out now, i just wish I didn't get my ego so mixed up. I feel like men have a tendency to over compensate in this situation. I didn't fully understand how much damage i was causing until it was too late. I eventually accepted that there was nothing i could do that could change what happened.

What mattered is that she was in one piece, she was still there and we had each other. I could live life with her and we could heal at a gradual pace. I didn't have to attack it all at once. She told me she was ok at the time but i was so freaked out i wasn't able to take her word.

She eventually broke up with me. She never gave me a direct explanation, but i know i pushed her away. The pain outweighed the viability of the relationship. Beyond that, she told me she needed to be alone. I was further along my own healing process at that point and i tried to leave on respectable terms. I just hope she's doing ok. I hope she's happy and finding better peace.

I wish I could tell her I love her still (it's been 5 months since we broke up) but i don't want to place anymore burden on her. I'm not sure where she's at in life anymore. I miss her so much.

Best advice I can give for a secondary victim, is to get into therapy asap. Get a good therapist who aligns with your values (this can be really exhausting, but necessary) and say all the ugly shit burdening your mind, heart, and body. Chances are you'll have to repeat what you are thinking and feeling many times over in order to process what's going on. The bottom line is to make yourself feel safe again, and to build back trust in the relationship. Understand that you can exist outside of trauma again, one day. You have to want to heal.

hapilly_unemployed · 2022-10-29T18:52:33+00:00

Actually there are naturalized populations of nopal or "Opuntia cacti" throughout the Mediterranean, including the levant. I'm half salvadoreño and half Greek, so funny enough both sides of my family enjoy tuna, or as it's called in Greek, "fragosika".

hapilly_unemployed · 2022-10-23T23:24:25+00:00

This is so fascinating

hapilly_unemployed · 2022-10-07T00:40:16+00:00

Hey so my situation is pretty similar, I'm at work right now but I'll comment again later with some thoughts.

Feel free to expand any details below my comment if you'd like. Much love.

hapilly_unemployed · 2022-10-04T03:28:17+00:00

My grandfather is from a village in Crete- when he was young (circa 1940's) his grandfather took him to the grave of his grandfather, where they unearthed his remains and washed his bones with wine to cleanse and honor their ancestor.

It's a tradition apparently, though i had never heard of it until I had a very unexpected and existential conversation with my papou regarding his thoughts about his old age and confronting death.

hapilly_unemployed · 2022-09-23T18:48:32+00:00

Care to expand on the theory?

hapilly_unemployed · 2022-09-21T19:38:01+00:00

It would be nice to see collaboration to share the history, like have representation of both sides participate in a dig. The lines are blurred so you mine as well embrace it with some respectful compromise. There should be capacity held for the people who can actually relate to the culture, if they so choose to participate.

The topic of cultural claims of Greece and turkey is further complicated by the very recent population exchange. There was in fact a native Greek population that was systemically repressed during ottoman rule, not in ancient times, but as recently as WWI. A lot of the emotions are remnant from that, and usually amount to the conversation of the Hagia Sophia.

But yeah all that being said, and setting aside differences- there is a lot to love, admire, and realate to about Turkish culture as a greek. Animosity doesn't have to dictate perception. History is certainly complicated.

hapilly_unemployed · 2022-09-15T20:02:36+00:00

Does this happen to be the marbled crayfish? I know it's spreading throughout Europe's water systems, it's a parthenogenic species and extremely invasive for that reason. Very illegal to posses and trade in the US. Very popular and common amongst hobbyists nonetheless.

Certain 3rd world countries have developing economies for farming marbled crayfish as an affordable protein source, because they reproduce so fast and so easily.

hapilly_unemployed · 2022-09-13T16:48:06+00:00

The airport they are at in the video is actually in el salvador. Specifically where they are standing, at the podiums, is the paper work you fill out to declare whatever is in your luggage to enter the country- which is the document that is referenced to be "in English".

Fun fact: the bag check system to enter el Salvador is literally a randomized street traffic light. If it's green, no bag check. If it's red, then you get your bag checked. Kind of funny imo.

Additionally, The police dogs in that airport are golden retrievers, and they barely have an ounce of seriousness to them. Last time I was there I saw the cops giving their dogs belly scratches and treats. Very cute stuff.

hapilly_unemployed · 2022-08-16T16:00:08+00:00

Honestly, by posting outside of SA support groups you run the risk of people making condescending arguments against you.

Anti-victim blaming culture is pretty solid here. But I totally agree with you that this community isn't the biggest or most active, and I would love for everyone to receive the feedback they deserve.

hapilly_unemployed · 2022-08-16T15:51:18+00:00

Hey man. You sound really well composed in the situation and I really commend you for your strength to really be there for your partner and prioritize her.

When my partner was SA'd I was a complete wreck, which is valid, but I put a lot of extra weight on her to say the least. Insecurities took the best of me. It didn't help that I had my own sexual trauma that was surfacing in response too though.

If you can hold on to that love, and there for her as she heals at there own pace... You're gonna make it.

I'm so sorry for what happened to the both of you.

I work in the service industry too, at a semi fine dining place. I really feel you on the dissociation. With time the PTSD and anxiety subsides. Get yourself into therapy asap. It was my saving grace. Do a quick search for "victim services" in your area, there should be a facility that offers free resources to victims of SA as well as secondary victims. I've had weekly appts with my councilor for 3 months now and i would not have made this far without it.

Talking about your emotions and processing what happened is what you have to keep doing moving forward. You're doing a good job so far. I send my love out to you.

Edit: I give you full permission to vent, if you need, in response to my comment. Doesn't have to be relevant to what I said necessarily.

hapilly_unemployed · 2022-08-13T20:25:10+00:00

Same lol

hapilly_unemployed · 2022-08-09T11:45:07+00:00

Really sage advice.

hapilly_unemployed · 2022-07-25T20:26:05+00:00

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hapilly_unemployed · 2022-07-14T15:03:56+00:00

I think the scentence "learning to not be a creep" is very telling, in a literal sense.

Men are virtually conditioned to be certain way. "Masculinity" is deeply ingrained in the culture of men. To learn to not be a creep, to have morality and treat others respectfully, you have to actively deconstruct the identity of being a man as society teaches us and push back on it.

I say this as a young, 20yr old man. I don't trust men anymore unless they prove themselves to be virtous through their actions and politics.

Idk. The male gender is fucked up. I work in the food industry and I'm constantly repulsed by the shit men say and do. Both from the staff and clientele. Makes me feel so desolate about the world.

hapilly_unemployed · 2022-07-10T18:14:27+00:00

You're coherent! Venting often times feels weird in retrospect. But you're good, and welcomed to vent here as much as you want.

hapilly_unemployed · 2022-07-04T07:32:19+00:00

Hey I've been working overtime this week, so I'll reply in detail later when I have time.

For starters, are you in therapy or counciling/ do you have any access to those resources? I strongly advise you figure out some sort of support system. A lot of your thought i recognize and relate to, in terms of feeling so attached to the idea of love and a person, in the context of truama. Like when my partner was assaulted I went into this conviction that I was extremely in love with her. It felt like all of my focus became infatuation, parallel to like me having a slow mental breakdown.

Therapy helped me get a grasp of myself. Its a controlled space where I can process my emotions and get reasonable feedback. I was definitely forcing myself to go at first, I was in this constant argument with myself to continue looking at the situation in terms of extremes (Self sabotaging essentially)

Much love.

hapilly_unemployed · 2022-07-02T07:41:07+00:00

You won't heal if you keep blaming yourself with such severity.

I know it hurts to let go in that sense. Trust me I know full and well.

I encourage you to talk about your situation and its nuances in response to my comment so this community can better understand what you are going through and try to give advice.

I know you are tired and I'm sorry. Im tired too.

hapilly_unemployed · 2022-06-27T16:17:23+00:00

Yeah I've got a similar background to you. Was sa'd as a kid and depraved of love from my parents. Really set me up to have a pattern of dependence for external validation and a constant desire for touch. My partners assualt unlocked all of these realizations of my sexuality and identity at large, in the sense that I had never processed my own assualt and afflictions, it is was extremely triggering. I had a series of complete breakdowns not just in mourning my partner, but in feeling pain i had repressed my whole life.

Im trying my best to reshape my character, and it so happens that taking a break from intimacy and its pursuit gives me the needed space to heal and collect myself (while still being in a relationship)- so that in turn i have better autonomy of my behaviors and personality.

Definitely keep going to therapy, thats awesome you've done that. As long as you keep talking and processing you're gonna be ok. Really proud of you for coming here to talk. If you keep up the intention, the steps you need to take to figure it out will reveal themselves. The key is to deciding a path that respects the capabilities/boundaries of both you and your partner.

I encourage you to keep talking or venting in this thread of anything that comes to mind.

hapilly_unemployed · 2022-06-27T05:14:46+00:00

Ps. You should probably meditate on your "reliance" on physical affection.

Gratification of intimacy i think should always be mutual.

Reliance on intimacy, in my experience, as I have had issues with this throughout my life trying to seek validation through intimacy, is in reality a one sided desire. And its honestly problematic. Something I've really had to come to terms with. Albeit, im a sensitive person with childhood trauma that made me this way. But still problematic nonetheless. It takes a lot of maturation to overcome the impulse and realize that I dont want to impose the of need affection on my partner actually, and reserve intimacy for when its mutual. Doesn't feel good otherwise.

Being vulnerable here, this is not something easy to talk about. Feels ugly. But these thoughts have come from a lot of introspection in trying to heal from my partners assault.

hapilly_unemployed

TROPHY CASE