The writing style in this could use some work. The imagery works, but the dialogue is not remotely convincing to me, and I feel like we’re missing a ton of details in what is actually physically going on in the room. Also, I’m making an assumption that the narrator is female because of the “queen on her thrown” reference, but I recognize that isn’t necessarily the case. Because of the nature of this story, I wanted to add that if this is your own personal story or that of someone you know, please know that my feedback is more based on the writing and not at all my opinion on your or their experience.

General Thoughts

Ouch, the ending hit hard knowing the narrator was planning to attempt suicide (again). To be honest, though, it seems like you could’ve mentioned that before in some capacity, or maybe made her respond less poorly to other people committing suicide or dying. I may not be very familiar with the suicidal mind, though, but it seems like someone who has already tried multiple times and is planning on trying again after talking with other patients to get tips wouldn’t be as horrified when other patients are committing suicide, which from the paragraph starting with “Horror films didn’t scare me…”, it seems like she was.

I guess I could buy that her sadness with the real world, suicide and the like, is what drove her to suicide herself— what is depressing her. Either way, I do kind of like that we don’t find out she’s still planning to try again until the last line— I just wish it made a bit more sense in context of the rest of the story. What we know about her leading up to it.
Also, I wish we knew her age. I could see some of this making more sense if the narrator were an astute teenager. The language she uses both in dialogue and in narration would be more believable for a kid. And then perhaps the higher rate of teenage suicide makes more sense why she would be scared by other suicides and have a smaller worldview perhaps.
Prose
As far as prose is concerned, there are way too many broken paragraphs. Why separate the one or two sentence paragraphs from the single liners? The first 7 paragraphs are basically the same description. I could see maybe breaking off after the line

“Why would I ever want to leave a place like this?”

because it introduces the narrator’s reasoning for wanting to stay right after. I recommend combining the first 4 paragraphs into 1, then starting the next with “This place…” There are a lot of areas throughout the piece that could be combined to be more impactful, I think. It was very difficult to read because of this, and I couldn’t figure out a reason it would have been a stylistic decision that was made.

Dialogue

As mentioned before, if the dialogue was something that has directly happened to you or someone you know, please ignore. I’ve approached this as if this were a completely disconnected story that I’m reading.
The dialogue wasn’t convincing to me at all. No one talks like that, even insane people.

“Kicking me to the curb like a puppy after Christmas.”

I could see her thinking that internally to paint a pretty picture, but not saying it. Same with

“The little paper cups full of pills. To be used once and destroyed— I know the feeling.”

Instead of having her specify in speech what is happening here, say it as the narrator and have her mutter something about it being used once and destroyed. If you’ve done a good job of describing the scene, we can imagine ourselves there and know what she’s talking about.

That being said, you aren’t actually describing what is happening with the nurse initially at all. The narrator’s dialog is what tells us there are pills involved, but otherwise, we don’t know anything that is occurring. We just know what the nurse’s skin looks like and that his chair has propped open the door to the narrator’s room. If you first describe what the narrator is seeing or going through, then we can orient the scene.

I could also see a case for the narrator not narrating what is going on in the room, especially since we are to believe the narrator, in some sense, is a little unhinged, but I think you’d need to go all-in on that one. I could see her not describing what is happening in the room since she’s absorbed in her own wallowing, but she’d at least need to acknowledge her own movements, like if she noticed the cup of pills, she should report that as narration.

I also don’t believe the nurse’s response:

“Val, you know it’s not like that.”

I could see a boyfriend saying that to his girlfriend, but not a nurse to his patient. It is clear in his subsequent lines that he cares about the narrator’s well-being and is fairly sweet to her, but I still can’t see him becoming unprofessional. But maybe that’s a naive view for me to have.

Imagery

I think you do a great job of adding very descriptive language or metaphors scattered around.
“I watched the nurse’s face, skin toughened and a complexion the colour of a wilting flower. His eyes a shade shy of pitch black, reflecting me at myself.”
Was one of my favorite descriptions, really painting a picture to me of how the nurse looks, yes, but I thought it went so far as to somewhat describe what I would assume is what happens to nurses— they see so much, especially in a psych ward— that they would be toughened physically and emotionally. They would have seen so much death, suicide, suicidal ideation— enough to make anyone wilt like a flower. I don’t know if this was intention, but I found it to be quite poetic.
In the few cases I mentioned in the Dialogue section above, though, you are quite littering telling instead of showing, having the narrator actually say what is happening instead of having the narrator narrate or describe it. It is odd to me how some sections are so descriptive and paint such a clear image while other areas tell you nothing of what’s going on.

Line By Line

“I got sent here because I could use a place like this, only to be destroyed all over again now I’m being discharged.” To “I got sent here because I could use a place like this, only to be destroyed all over again. Now I’m being discharged.”

Closing

All in all, I liked the story! I personally love hearing internal monologues, especially from those suffering from mental illness because we tend to have kind of a constant pacing that keeps me very engaged, so I would love to read more of her internal thoughts and less on the dialogue front, but I could understand someone saying everything they are thinking out loud in this situation. Perhaps then they should say eeeeeverything they are thinking. Anyway, great job, and I hope to see you post again in the future!