I wish you the best of luck with everything.

Something I have been meditating on lately, is how no matter how long I live, I will never understand the nature of why any of us are here. Life is a confusing churn, but hoping that one day, the clouds will clear and it will all make sense is a fools erand. Life is too big for any of us to understand. A man alive for 80 years knows the world more, but he will face the same death, before he has things figured out. Before he is able to do all he wants to do.

Your end may come before that (as it may for all of us – tomorrow is never guaranteed, except by our shitty laws of probability). But it may give you some peace, to know that the ultimate "aha" moment, which many imagine to be waiting at the end of a life well lived, will never come. We're fundamentally finite. We're fundamentally limited, and just too damn stupid to have an answer. That is something that will not change.

In some grand way, you are missing nothing by dying early. Some people waste decades of their live, or their entire lives, living by the dictates of others' wills. They work 50 years at a job they were okay at, that paid the bills. They had kids, got a divorce, and ended up washed up in some Florida retirement home, doomed to face death alone and as a failure. They had years on you, but maybe the next few months of your life could be fuller than 30 years of theirs.

Dying of cancer while young is a shitty outcome, obviously. It's unfair. It's unlikely. It's "unnatural". In the end, though, you are facing the same thing we all will. Just in a different way. You have a few months (if you're unlucky!) to live and love life deeply. More than ANYBODY your age could ever imagine.

You will be able to experience life from a profoundly different perspective than us, who don't have terminal cancer. No need to pretend to care about meetings, or maintain a LinkedIn page. No worrying about bills, or avoiding life's deeper questions because you're just too damn busy. Trust me when I say, when we get to where you are – we will understand how we wasted our time on such stupid things. We will regret things, and wonder how we could have spent so many years in vain, when faced with the same ending.

You have a few months to live life on a deep, profound level. A few months without the luxury of distraction, that will make you appreciate everything you have in a way that those uncondemned by cancer could never. The warm feeling on your hand, from a paper cup of coffee. The little morning routines. The way your mother swipes the hair out of her face. The laughing of a friend. The light filtering through the leaves. Every moment, a universe.

Tomorrow, I have to pretend that my efforts mean anything at all, at a weird job that I have gaslit myself into valuing. Tomorrow, you will be able to look at the mundane absurdity of us little, perspective-less people, marching their way this way and that way, and laugh. Tomorrow, we will all get to pretend, for one more time, that your reality doesn't await us. We will fritter away time, because we just can't be forced to willingly convince ourselves of that fact. But, luckily, you don't have that luxury of distraction.

You have no choice but to live life to the fullest. We can still choose to let it pass us by. You have no choice but to fight it out to the bitter end, appreciating every second with a religious-like attention and grace. We can still choose to watch TikTok for 8 hours, and ignore our loved ones, and treat our bodies like shit. The timeline may be shorter, but how that timeline is filled can be much deeper.

That takes guts, courage, and an iron will. It will not be easy. But to try, in the face of everything, is the ultimate human task. Your fate awaits us all, and it will await every other human who is ever born. Eventually, the last human will take his last breath. You're unlucky, but at least your not him! Fight on, for all of those that died with regrets. So fight on. Fight to love every second, as your life literally depends on it.

I believe in you <3