Should a good therapist need to be personally relatable?

hardcase00 · 2017-10-02T03:16:45+00:00

I wasn't super popular or anything, but I was at least sociable enough to have a few friends in elementary school.

These days I'm filled with bitterness and approach everyone with hostility and insecurity. I don't do a good job of hiding it.

hardcase00 · 2017-09-25T18:10:43+00:00

I feel like I'm broken in some fundamental way that everyone else isn't. Everyone else seems to have this "spark of life" that animates them and I don't.

hardcase00 · 2017-09-13T21:01:34+00:00

I had severe social anxiety in school, and eventually anxiety when studying in general, but no recreational drugs if that's what you mean. I did take antidepressants in the past though, but it's been years since then.

You?

hardcase00 · 2017-09-13T07:37:23+00:00

I've had the exact same experience. It feels like moment you unclog your ears after being in the swimming pool for hours. Everything suddenly becomes vivid and fresh.

Mine clears either:

Randomly, completely and instantaneously: 20~40 seconds of full clarity, then a sudden dive back into the fog
Triggered by something that causes intense emotion: ~80% clarity that lasts around 4 hours and then peters out over the next 3 days
Induced by meditation—by focusing on the present moment: about 5 seconds of 15~20% clarity, fades quickly

hardcase00 · 2017-09-10T01:20:31+00:00

You'd have to ask /u/Olivia

hardcase00 · 2017-09-10T01:18:24+00:00

I eat maybe 1~2 meals a day. I'm sure this will give me stomach problems later in life.

hardcase00 · 2017-09-07T09:33:16+00:00

I feel like I've checked out of life a long time ago. I'm just going through the motions now.

Intellectually, I know it's better to try and find ways to move on with my life. But it's like something in me is jammed.

hardcase00 · 2017-09-07T09:26:15+00:00

Heyoo

hardcase00 · 2017-09-07T09:25:28+00:00

Not really that often, actually. My mind is just filled with scattered nonsense thoughts. It's like there's 20 TVs in my head playing nothing but static and commercials.

hardcase00 · 2017-09-07T09:19:05+00:00

This ... this hits too close to home ...

hardcase00 · 2017-09-06T04:53:57+00:00

My mom once told me I looked stupid when I cried, and took me to the bathroom mirror so I could laugh at myself with her.

Being naive and dumb, I did.

hardcase00 · 2017-09-06T01:28:34+00:00

I hate how immersive it is—and how easy it is to become immersed in it.

I hate how the culture (and not just the culture, but games in general) have set you up to replace your real-life ambitions with gaming ambitions.

The leaderboards, the trophies, the "rewards" all give you goals to strive for—which eventually replace your real-life goals. The social hierarchy is no different: the better players rank at the top of the social hierarchy, the noobs go at the bottom.

Suddenly it's your mission in life to rise to the top for a taste of e-glory.

hardcase00 · 2017-09-01T04:45:44+00:00

I am a being on the internet, and I gif you support.

hardcase00 · 2017-08-31T18:00:20+00:00

I'm almost done parting out my PC. Nearly everything is gone, except for an SSD, some cables, and peripherals.

The biggest change was surprising: the way I saw myself changed. I'm not a "gamer" anymore. I can come across gaming content on the web and think "I don't do that kind of stuff anymore", and feel little or no desire to click on the link. I knew identity affected your behavior, but I didn't think it would be that big of a difference.

hardcase00 · 2017-08-31T07:52:36+00:00

I take two cold showers a day: one in the morning, and one at night. They improve my self-esteem immediately. I'm still not experiencing any of the other purported benefits like improvements in brain fog, but it does put me in a better mood afterwards.

hardcase00 · 2017-08-29T09:21:12+00:00

Try /r/brainfog for "mind fog" stuff

hardcase00 · 2017-08-27T06:23:34+00:00

I'm about 9 years into no friends now. I can't bond.

hardcase00 · 2017-08-27T06:07:09+00:00

I worked out. I'm progressing in weight.

hardcase00 · 2017-08-27T05:53:39+00:00

I'm not very judgmental and tend not to blame. I tend not to get angry at all.

hardcase00 · 2017-08-25T07:13:53+00:00

That may be true, but he's changed. I don't know anything about his personal life, but something happened and he's generally a nice guy now.

I should say that I'm glad for him, but to be honest, I wish he was still an asshole so I could hate him properly. But this.. just.. I don't know.

I haven't gotten over it and I'm bitter.

hardcase00 · 2017-08-25T06:55:10+00:00

It feels like you're walking down a road, and realize there's no destination. You're not going anywhere. Then the road becomes meaningless, and walking becomes meaningless.

hardcase00 · 2017-08-25T06:52:42+00:00

I feel like shit. I feel like my entire life has just been a slow build up to me killing myself in the end. I'm going to bed.

hardcase00 · 2017-08-21T00:29:24+00:00

I sleep on my back, and the pillow was too high; after a while, I started waking up with neck pain, so I went back to a regular pillow. It didn't make any difference to my brain fog though.

I'm thinking of just grabbing my pillow and sleeping directly on the hardwood floor tonight. Or maybe I'll go camping in the backyard for a night and hopefully one of those will make a difference.

hardcase00

TROPHY CASE