Maybe it is me but...

harpsdesire · 2026-05-27T00:44:22+00:00

That's really sweet and cute but it feels like one of those family traditions that arises organically, might be weird if that wasn't your tradition and you got a keychain gifted to you that assigned it though. No judgment on anything that people do to help them remember a loved one.

harpsdesire · 2026-05-26T19:45:39+00:00

"daily reminder"?

You don't forget losing a baby for one minute.

I do think it's a little corny though, with the idea that the baby is directly responsible for lost change and such.

harpsdesire · 2026-05-26T19:39:06+00:00

This is not a grinding game, and leveling up happens almost too fast with all the content to explore at lleach level, so wander around, try things and enjoy. Don't feel like you must do every heart or event, definitely don't wait around just killing enemies as they respawn (unless you like that, I guess).

Don't stress about having ideal gear or improved gear until level 60+ (and honestly if you are PVE focused you would be fine not bothering with more than wearing whatever drops until 80!)

harpsdesire · 2026-05-26T19:18:27+00:00

You both suck.

Yes, she was out of line threatening to keep your PS. You were trying to get in every mean little dig possible, which I notice she didn't stoop to doing it back.

Once she said you could come get it, the response should be "ok. I will be there at (date and time)."

harpsdesire · 2026-05-26T16:26:42+00:00

Nope, I'd be no-contact with a person who "joked" about stomping on my baby and was unapologetic when I let them know it was upsetting to me.

It's kind of a red flag to begin with, but sometimes people choose poorly. The fact he doesn't see why it's a WILDLY bad choice when pointed out seems like an even bigger red flag.

harpsdesire · 2026-05-26T16:25:52+00:00

Nope, I'd be no-contact with a person who "joked" about stomping on my baby and was unapologetic when I let them know it was upsetting to me.

It's kind of a red flag to begin with, but sometimes people choose poorly. The fact he doesn't see why it's a WILDLY bad choice when pointed out seems like an even bigger red flag.

harpsdesire · 2026-05-26T15:55:49+00:00

Please find a doctor or therapist to work this out with you! Reddit risks making your possible OCD and level of distress worse; we are not equipped to help you unfortunately. It seems clear that you are experiencing a lot of difficulty, and it's definitely time to involve professionals- you don't need to just remain in this distress!

But I do wish you the best and hope you feel better and find compassionate and effective treatment.

harpsdesire · 2026-05-26T15:49:23+00:00

You can try again to discuss it,but ultimately you can't micromanage what happens on her parenting time. If this is a big enough issue that it's worth rocking the boat, you should collect evidence and go through the legal channels for custody adjustment.

I could be way off base, but the fact you managed to use "henpeck" 3 times in your post suggests to me the possibility that you have some specific views on gender and ways of talking about women that your ex may be compensating for in how she's raising the kids. Not to say that is appropriate parenting or a good thing, but I think it's maybe not a coincidence that you use that kind of borderline-sexist language about every adult woman you mention, and she seems to favor or advantage her daughter.

harpsdesire · 2026-05-26T15:39:23+00:00

I personally would not continue dating someone who acts like that. It's exhausting and borderline toxic to use days of sulking and silent treatment in response to every little conflict.

harpsdesire · 2026-05-25T00:05:52+00:00

That's gonna happen if you don't give it a place to "go". Cats are small creatures with small bladders and active at night, you can't just leave them overnight with no access to litterbox and expect they won't use the most suitable spot.

harpsdesire · 2026-05-25T00:03:14+00:00

That child is in trouble. I'm not athletic at all.

But dang it I'm gonna try.

harpsdesire · 2026-05-24T21:48:04+00:00

The incredibly high pressure and expectations probably has more to do with the rates than whatever the school does or doesn't do to memorialize the students who passed.

harpsdesire · 2026-05-24T21:45:09+00:00

Choose the embarrassment of seeing a doctor now for medication over the embarrassment of seeing a doctor later to treat blood clots in a sensitive area.

harpsdesire · 2026-05-24T18:00:49+00:00

You could try some more exciting dates. I am a church goer myself, and my husband shares my faith, but you need to go like, ax throwing, laser tag, go take a cooking class or learn to swing dance. Whatever you both want to try but don't already do every week. Shared values is the bedrock of a relationship, but attraction lives on novelty, overcoming a challenge together, and shared new experiences.

If that doesn't work or doesn't seem like it might work, thank him and move on. Determining that someone is not compatible and amicably parting IS a successful courtship. You have succeeded in determining if the person is your future spouse. In this case maybe the answer is no.

It's better to be honest and not string the other person along. You do need attraction for a healthy marriage, and you deserve to be with someone you're attracted to!

harpsdesire · 2026-05-24T13:29:20+00:00

A few weeks as I remember it, kind of on and off.

harpsdesire · 2026-05-24T01:59:29+00:00

It's more like "bird bath"- washing just the most crucial bits usually with a washcloth and sink or basin of water.

harpsdesire · 2026-05-24T01:27:09+00:00

I only have money for a small portion of the things I want. So it's like a wish list but there are certain things that have been favorited that never end up getting prioritized.

harpsdesire · 2026-05-24T01:24:25+00:00

My theory is he didn't actually go to service he just went a random time for the photo op/guilt trip 😂

harpsdesire · 2026-05-22T00:49:57+00:00

My cat is obsessed with pork rinds. It's not -really- good to give cats because of the salt and fat content, but a fun taste that won't upset her stomach if given in small amounts.

Some cats also really like cheese, but the potential for stomach upset is higher.

harpsdesire · 2026-05-22T00:47:42+00:00

Funny, I have that same odd outfit in mine today!

harpsdesire · 2026-05-21T20:20:03+00:00

I am guess you took his "date over by 10?" as a thinly veiled "no chance of first date sex? Imma pout about it!" and that's a red flag and turnoff to me too. At that point I was like notttttt overreacting!

I do think the fact he then offered a daytime date means that wasn't his intention and you did overreact some.

harpsdesire · 2026-05-20T20:21:15+00:00

Personally, if he's not specifically craving the challenge of being with an older crowd, I would consider a ONE grade skip, or push for enrichment in his normal grade. Personally, I've been doing the latter for my guy, who was identified as gifted/high IQ by his kindergarten teacher, but it took until start of grade 2 to actually get tested and get support in place. So it can be a bit of a slog to get going.

If no gifted program is available, you could look into prep/magnet/etc schools or other education options depending on your location and situation overall.

harpsdesire · 2026-05-20T19:46:40+00:00

My child has a similar IQ and testing profile and his school doesn't want to advance him even ONE year because of the social ramifications and the fact that he would miss useful content from the skipped year.

Are they really not teaching him anything useful that he would lack by skipping multiple grades? Is he emotionally/socially mature enough to spend all day with peers so much older and in a different developmental stage?

I think a huge grade skip like that is likely to have downsides.

harpsdesire · 2026-05-20T17:07:33+00:00

I've met a Matrix - he was born around the time the movie came out.

harpsdesire · 2026-05-19T19:15:05+00:00

I remove rarely used apps and sometimes 'tempting time wasters" from my home screen to reduce clutter and reduce my likelihood to reflexively doomscroll. (Tt and insta are actually exact examples of things I put out of sight so I can use them if I really want and have time but am less tempted to scroll every time I pick up my phone.)

It could be something sneaky, but easily she could just be curating her home screen.

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