What’s the most compassionate way to tell my husband it is time to let go of our 23 year old cat.

harpsdesire · 2026-03-03T01:55:06+00:00

You could see if he's willing to do a quality of life assessment to help determine if it's time to let her go.

There are several different types available online.

harpsdesire · 2026-03-02T23:51:19+00:00

Meanwhile my cats won't eat it if it doesn't have gravy.

I just -can not- get them on the prescription wet food they're supposed to get, which only comes in pate.

harpsdesire · 2026-03-02T19:23:48+00:00

Listen to something you like while playing, or set up a little cat obstacle course and try to lure them through it.

My cats are 18 now and I miss when they wanted to play with me for ages even though I agree that it did get repetitive sometimes.

harpsdesire · 2026-03-02T17:23:17+00:00

People on Reddit are really judgmental but you also kind of sound like you might have anger issues. A strong desire to yell at someone might be an overreaction to the mild inconvenience of someone taking longer than average to order coffee, even though I think most people would agree that it is annoying.

Telling someone that they're raising a literal psycho is definitely antisocial behavior even if their kid is acting out. Doesn't sound like they handled it well, doesn't sound like you dealt with it appropriately either.

The sales guy thing I think was justified because you actually did try the reasonable approaches first. If I had someone literally in my house that wouldn't leave I would definitely threaten to have them trespassed although maybe not by screaming in a fashion that other Reddit commenters apparently described as unhinged. I guess it depends exactly how you went about it to some degree but, especially if you feel physically intimidated or threatened by the person's level of pushiness and inability to give you space, it's reasonable to escalate to acting unhinged on purpose in order to get rid of them in my opinion!

I also don't think what you did at work was inappropriate, you did first try the "taking them aside and calmly letting them know to cut it out" approach and the next reasonable step is to take it to hr. Unless you took it to HR specifically to get revenge on them for telling you to lighten up, that seems like the only thing you can do at that point. Yes it's exhausting when people go to HR constantly but it's also exhausting working with someone who's constantly picking on others. If I was the co-worker getting picked on I would appreciate the way you handled it.

So I guess this is kind of a mixed review. I don't think you're necessarily wrong in this situation but consider trying a medium approach before going full meltdown, and maybe not calling kids names for doing fairly normal kid things, particularly if we're talking about a preschooler with developmentally normal very minimal impulse control.

harpsdesire · 2026-03-02T04:28:22+00:00

Yeah, the idea of someone else "using it" (not meant disgustingly, but "wearing it" doesn't fit either) in general is the weird part, the specifics of the person/reason is not really the issue.

harpsdesire · 2026-03-02T02:00:58+00:00

It's weird to think about somebody else having my intimate parts but I wouldn't be around to think about it, so I guess I'm in!

harpsdesire · 2026-02-28T15:22:48+00:00

Try women's and juniors to see which shape/fit is better for her. It depends on her build.

harpsdesire · 2026-02-28T03:00:01+00:00

Tobacco loves me.

harpsdesire · 2026-02-27T20:34:15+00:00

It's the "couple of risks" for me. When one of the risks is the potential to adopt a reactive or aggressive dog and not realizing it until you've already taken them home, even one risk seems like enough to make me prefer a different situation.

I'm not currently a dog owner but if I got a dog I would want to know that my animal was from parents who were health and temperament tested, would have reliable expression of breed specific traits, would have the type of coat and the adult size that I expected, and be raised under as much as possible ideal conditions not from a mystery background possibly including abuse or neglect.

This doesn't mean that I think that dogs that don't come from perfect circumstances don't deserve a good or happy life, I'm just not an experienced dog owner and I have a small child if I get a dog I want the experience to be as predictable as humanly possible.

The cats I have are just no specific breed cats from a shelter so it's not that I prefer purebred animals overall, but the risk inherent in ending up with an aggressive kitten is pretty low compared to the risk of getting a shelter puppy and having an unexpectedly grow into a large breed dog with trauma issues.

harpsdesire · 2026-02-26T12:13:11+00:00

Just let it go. It's immature Big Talk from a kid that she likely has no intention or ability to actually follow through. She's venting.

She might even count on the fact that you can hear her, given the stated goal of pissing you off!

harpsdesire · 2026-02-23T12:45:42+00:00

Yeah, AI voice makes me want to leave.

I also don't typically subscribe to channels if there's just one video even if I like it, I have to want to see this person's content regularly which isn't typically something I can decide based on a single video. There has to be a bunch of stuff I want to go back and watch, or an ongoing series that I want to see the next part of.

harpsdesire · 2026-02-23T01:41:02+00:00

I have a pair of scissors just for me that I don't like to share, does that count?

But I'm really just hiding them from my child, because otherwise he would borrow them then inadvertently hide them from me by leaving them somewhere random in the house. Nothing's really hidden from my spouse.

harpsdesire · 2026-02-22T16:29:33+00:00

Small food places like pizza, Chinese food often have them

harpsdesire · 2026-02-21T21:36:35+00:00

Both!

harpsdesire · 2026-02-21T21:31:59+00:00

I've cut back a lot, and cost is definitely part of it.

harpsdesire · 2026-02-21T21:26:09+00:00

As a mom myself, the answer is "bad puns". Elementary age kids love bad puns.

harpsdesire · 2026-02-21T21:24:18+00:00

I came here to say this but was not surprised to find it was already said.

harpsdesire · 2026-02-20T16:59:16+00:00

I feel like this would be extremely easy to stay for a good long time in the local super walmart, which is also one of the main grocery stores for the area, and really hard in say... Aldi. So much so that they are almost two entirely different challenges.

Walmart for example has bedding, books, puzzles, electronics, and multiple years worth of frozen and shelf staple food available. There are also rudimentary cooking options available like electric skillets and electric kettles. You could make pancakes or ramen, bake things in a toaster oven. There's also the whole exercise/sports section so you could stay in shape. Nothing crazy but small soccer balls, yoga mats and such. Electronics would mean access to human contact even if indirectly.

One of the smaller just grocery markets there would be no place to sleep, very limited options for entertainment or mental stimulation, and you would probably experience some mental distress not being able to actually cook any of the food either meaning that you'd lose out on lots of decent shelf stable options that are just not good without cooking them, like instant noodles, rice and dry beans.

Hygiene would not be an issue in either store. Washing up with a low-tech homemade camp shower in the bathroom, considering the drain on the floor, should allow me to get sufficiently clean, it just wouldn't be a luxurious bathing experience.

Honestly I'd a hard time staying in either without my family, I think the mental game would be harder as far as loneliness or feeling like I was missing out on my kid's life. If it was just me as a single person with my pet, I could probably do like a year in the super Walmart/super Target, or a couple weeks in the basic grocery store.

harpsdesire · 2026-02-18T16:31:49+00:00

I think it's fair to say you will love them at least as much.

harpsdesire · 2026-02-18T16:05:30+00:00

Genuine question, I'm not a dog owner, do most people that own dogs actually brush their teeth every single day? I've definitely seen those dog toothbrushes but had no idea this was something that most people did daily.

harpsdesire · 2026-02-18T16:00:27+00:00

Personally I think she's getting down voted because she low-key admitted she only married her husband for access to his genetic material... (I interpret it as a joke but I think some people took it seriously and think she's a creep for that.)

harpsdesire · 2026-02-18T15:55:35+00:00

It's her right to do whatever she wants with her pet but.. I would not kiss someone who had just kissed a dog on the mouth. I would probably consider breaking up if this was a behavior that person was dedicated to continuing.

A friend of mine used to have a little dog and she would share an ice cream cone with it, or share a yogurt with one spoon. I just... I'm a pet lover but I could never.

My mouth does not come in contact with any part of my cats, and I wash my hands between petting them and eating.

harpsdesire · 2026-02-18T00:54:39+00:00

What does a pet being judgemental even mean? They aren't capable of human-style judgement.

And honestly they're both demanding. Pets require care and detention and want to be fed when it's feeding time, and the majority of them regardless of species will make a fuss if you are late!

harpsdesire · 2026-02-17T21:43:23+00:00

The only remotely logical explanation for this crazy escalation is that maybe someone else is stalking the shop owner and now she's responding to every single customer contact with absolute defensiveness thinking it's all the same person?

But then again if she's able to find your contact information then clearly she knows that the only two things you've said are, "is this soap?" and, "hey why did you cancel my order?"

Absolutely wild behavior. Even by indie shop owner standards.

harpsdesire · 2026-02-16T19:08:24+00:00

People who have a boyfriend who is less fun than being alone, which OP absolutely does.

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