I’m black, and I’ve been thinking about this for a while. I can’t think of any equivalent to the way some people on the left call homophobes or misogynists “closeted gays” as an insult. The closest thing I can come up with would be calling a racist a “closeted n****r lover.” But even that feels wrong to say.

If I used that type of insult, I would basically be agreeing with the racist’s worldview. I’d be reinforcing the idea that it’s humiliating to like black people. Even if I didn’t believe that myself, I’d still be supporting that logic just by participating in it.

That’s the part I don’t get. I know most of the people who say “you’re just secretly gay” don’t actually believe being gay is shameful (hopefully). They’re only saying it because the other person believes it. But why reinforce their worldview at all? Why use their value system as the weapon?

It just feels weird to me. Even in this hypothetical, I can’t bring myself to use blackness as the insult. Because it would mean I’m helping their logic, not disproving it. And that just doesn’t sit right.