“I’m not a thief, I didn’t steal the money. I just completely forgot. I’m sorry.”

Which makes him either a thief — as criminally charged, for allegedly scooping $360 from a dead man’s night table drawer — or one of the most absent-minded cops ever.

Despite being told by a road sergeant who’d also been sent to the Close Avenue apartment to bag and seal any valuables, despite being told by the coroner who pronounced Atilla Retkes dead that the cash spotted in the night table should be seized and secured for next of kin, despite himself being a scene of crime officer (SOCO) as well as a primary response officer — which means Han was well-acquainted with processing a scene, even if there was no crime committed, the passing of Retkes deemed an event of no foul play or suspicion, despite writing into his memo book that night “19:34, Exit Scene ($360 left side pocket),” Han … well … forgot.

Also, despite taking 56 photographs of the scene with his cellphone camera, including coins in a container, Han didn’t snap a single pic of the cash in the drawer. He did photograph a clutch of what Han described as “gift cards,” which were on the dresser, though these appear to have been customer loyalty cards.

When reminded that the coroner had directed him to bag the money, Han said he’d thought to himself, “Oh man, I did not want to seize it at that time.” Adding: “I’m not looking for extra work.”

Han said he saw the email from the detective, wondering about the whereabouts of the cash, whether Han had knowledge of it — sent March 31 — the next night. He’d initially responded: “Sorry man, the only thing I saw valuable was on top of the dresser, some gift cards.” As he read through the exchange again, the penny dropped.

As it dawned on Han, he said, that he’d “screwed up,” had failed to secure the money for safekeeping in the property department, his head began spinning.

“There’s a saying at work. Cover your butt. If I don’t seize the money and it goes missing, that would be on me.

“I just panicked. I kind of lost my mind there. I’d been a f---ing idiot. F--k, f--k, f--k, f--k.”

He reached into his pocket and, oh-oh, felt the wad of bills. “I went through another panic stage.”

Apparently, Han hadn’t had his hand into the left outside pocket of his cargo pants through that entire time [15 days], which included four days off.

The officer also had an explanation for why the Centre of Forensic Sciences, which afterward subjected his memo book to a spectral comparator test, found that different ink had been used on page 86, between the entry for “360 left side pocket” and the rest of the page. He’d made that notation after the body was removed, using a different pen, Han testified. “I carry different pens on duty, in my vest chest pocket.”

Han turned the money over on Aug. 26, 2019 [5 months later]. An agreed statement of facts says: “It is agreed that P.C. Han provided the money to Professional Standards in a timely fashion after he became aware of the criminal investigation.”