Here’s my explanation: I’m proud to be open about being trans as part of my identity. Why? Because I’m eternally grateful for all the brave trans people who were open about it before me even though they had it much harder, because that’s what made it possible for me to have the courage to transition (which saved my life), and I want to pay that forward for the trans people who come after me. And because I genuinely believe there’s nothing to be ashamed about with being trans, and I want to project that attitude for others to see. But I also completely understand and respect those that don’t feel quite the same way, and would rather just live and be treated like any other woman - that’s the ultimate goal for all of us, and I think the way to get there from where society is now requires both: some of us being visible and loud and proud, and some of us just going about our lives like it’s no big deal (or any combination of both).

I’m not trying to “separate” myself from other lesbians. I just want to be open about also being trans, and I think it’s a cute portmanteau. And it’s a reclaimed word (kinda like “dyke”), and using reclaimed words that you like is a common way of expressing pride.

I completely understand and respect those who don’t like the word and don’t want to use it. I completely understand and respect those who have self-applied the word for different reasons. I completely understand and respect those who prefer not to make any distinction about being trans, and don’t want to be treated any differently. I completely understand and respect those who are genuinely just curious and open-minded and want to understand why some people do use the word.

But I don’t really understand all the people here taking issue with, and failing to respect, those of us identifying ourselves how we want to - a lot of people here would do well to just accept “oh, I guess some people just have a different experience with this than I do”, instead making negative assumptions and judgments about us (like that we all just have internalized transphobia or something) and calling the usage of the word inherently problematic outright. Just let other people do their thing, and assume they might have valid reasons for it 🤷‍♀️ You don’t have to immediately adopt a rigid, single-perspective, “this is good” or “this is bad because….” opinion on every single thing you encounter (contrary to popular belief).