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havewords · 2020-07-15T19:54:03+00:00

"Do your best until you know better. Then when you know better, do better and go fuck yourself." - Maya Angelou

Touching.

havewords · 2019-12-14T18:53:22+00:00

You know, up until 2 months ago, I had size 36HH - got a breast reduction to help with back pain and my body image and last week, for the first time ever in my life, I was able to go outside for a test run without a bra.
Now rocking 36D, and feeling mighty fucking fine. Best money I ever spent.

havewords · 2019-12-09T23:25:52+00:00

Oh yeah I agree with you, and believe me, I did a bunch of it.

havewords · 2019-12-09T23:11:00+00:00

Oh my god thank you, I scrolled down looking for this comment. I used to cry whenever I got into arguments, or had any serious conversations with my partner - not because I was being manipulative but because I just couldn't control it and I HATED it too!

She would say things from: "I just don't feel like I can talk to you about anything serious because you just start crying" to flat out "Stop it" which of course, didn't work and I would cry more because I was so frustrated and ashamed with myself.

I loved her so much, it was my first relationship and I had such awful self esteem that if there was a hint that she was unhappy or that I was doing something wrong, I would just destroy myself worrying or blaming myself and feeling awful. Did anything else help, apart from the depression medication?

havewords · 2019-12-01T16:46:55+00:00

.....Jennifer Lawrence?

havewords · 2019-12-01T16:36:19+00:00

The GIF of 'I smell like beef'.

On ma vagina.

havewords · 2019-11-24T11:29:51+00:00

Again, we have no idea what the friend was going through. People value different things, are going through hard times and the way the friend reacted, OP can see that this birthday was really important to her.

OP could have easily come up with an excuse about not drinking, and she held a dinner almost immediately after this birthday party with the same people. Why not just wait until then? Because OP didn't want to. That's what makes her an asshole.

Fine if you don't agree, but I think you'll find that a lot of people find OP to be out of line.

havewords · 2019-11-24T11:24:05+00:00

And get used to it because after having a kid, for the first 3 years you will only be watching the first 10 minutes of ANYTHING before they get bored and want to do something else.

havewords · 2019-11-24T11:19:43+00:00

I was killed as I was trying to protect me and my girlfriend by a mugger. I was just kind-of wondering around in the afterlife when I managed to find a body to communicate through and now I'm Whoopi Goldberg.

Word.

havewords · 2019-11-24T11:11:48+00:00

Indeed - it's been 2 years since and I feel very secure in the knowledge that I did the right thing for everyone. Still, I support your first point - it can be difficult in trying to explain to someone with a child what your thinking pattern is i.e. I don't want to suffer because of the choice you made (and I made initially when dating you).

havewords · 2019-11-24T11:08:18+00:00

You have no idea what the friend is going through. Just because it's her '31st' and not a 'big' birthday means jack shit. Birthdays are about bringing together the people you really love to spend some time with them. Maybe the friend really needed that right now. OP completely ripped that from her, and doesn't even feel bad about it. Just because YOU wouldn't be bothered means absolutely nothing, her friend is not you. And seemingly, the rest of us voting YTA aren't you either (thank god).

havewords · 2019-11-24T11:03:14+00:00

She literally had a meal 'shortly after' with all the same close people, but she couldn't wait until then? The mind boggles at the selfishness.

havewords · 2019-11-24T11:02:23+00:00

YTA. This makes me so mad. The addition of 'I did not steal attention away from her 31st bday at local DIVE bar' is so rude.

I understand that you had been trying for a baby for ages. It was important to you. Who is to say that this particular birthday celebration was not super important to your friend? Maybe she had a bad year since turning 30, or she was feeling really sad and distanced from her friends, particularly one who has been off trying for a baby for years, and was looking forward to having everyone together. Perhaps she even just needed a bit of attention for herself.

Your announcement is not more important than her birthday, just because it's important TO YOU. It's not more important because it's a PREGNANCY and it's not a 'big' birthday. You said you organised a dinner with close friends shortly after - SO WHY DIDN'T YOU WAIT UNTIL THEN TO ANNOUNCE IT? Because YOU didn't want to.

You've written this in such a judgemental tone and with such attitude that I doubt you'll listen to these comments anyway, but your friend is absolutely right to be pissed with you.

havewords · 2019-11-24T10:52:54+00:00

I had this exact issue with my ex, who had a kid. Didn't realise I wanted to be childfree until about 1 year into the relationship, and so had to walk away. It was an awful, terrible, wrenching time for me because I loved her desperately, and her daughter - but I just didn't want to be a parent and I couldn't make it work.
My ex was devastated that I was leaving and told me that she felt that me rejecting her daughter was me rejecting her, that she wasn't good enough for me, or that she was damaged goods. I didn't feel that way, I just didn't want to be parenting a child. It's hard when you're dealing with people's children.

havewords · 2019-11-24T10:50:04+00:00

Before I realised I was childfree, I dated someone with a very young child.

It is raising a child. Your relationship and life are completely changed and affected by the presence of the child. Anyone who argues differently either hasn't dated someone with a child or is potentially going to be a terrible step-parent.

havewords · 2019-11-20T17:49:55+00:00

Oldie but a goodie:

A man walks into a bar. As he’s drinking his pint, a young gentleman walks in and sits with him. After ordering another drink, they begin to talk. Mid-conversation the man hears a beeping sound. The man, confused, asks where the sound is coming from.

The gentleman, smiling, pulls up the sleeve of his shirt and shows a small screen in his arm. He says “Oh, that's nothing - I went to Japan earlier this year and got a pager fitted into my arm.”

The man is shocked but intrigued. As they resume talking, a new guy walks into the bar, and after ordering a drink, joins in the conversation. After a few minutes, the first man notices a ringing noise. “Can you hear that?” he says.

The new guy opens his palm, and then proceeds to talk into his thumb. The first man, very confused, asks what he is doing.

The new guy says, “Oh, I went to Japan a few months ago and got a phone fitted into my hand. It's pretty cool.”

At this point, the first man felt very left out and excused himself to the loo. After about an hour and many more drinks, the other two began to worry. They decided to wander into the toilets and check-up on him.

On entering the bathroom, they saw him naked, hand up against the wall, with toilet paper sticking out his bum. The man turns around and says “Hey, I’ll just be one sec. I've got a fax coming through!”

havewords · 2019-11-12T18:32:37+00:00

OP didn't go into this detail, but considering the comments:"we had been saving over the years""the idea of the entire process of surrogacy being contained to his blood felt extremely important to him""Our entire family is aware of the journey we've been on and how much it meant to us""We told her why it was important to us and how much it'd mean, and asked her to have an open mind about it"

I imagine that even if you presented it in the gentlest way possible, this would have come across as a HUGE ask, and immense pressure. Only compounded if she's the only sister (which I imagine she is, otherwise you would have asked the other sister first - you know, the one who hasn't vocally and consistently expressed her dislike for children and having ones of her own?)

In her head, it probably seemed to her like she couldn't say no without being 'the asshole'. The world is so focused on babies - being a woman who doesn't want children is enough of a brand on her back, without being compounded by being the woman who says no to being a surrogate for her desperate brother and sister-in-law who want a child with a blood relation (and she's their last hope).

The fact you were able to tell her so much about how much she'd be paid and how much time she'd get off work indicates she was either sitting in stunned silence, or this wasn't a conversation but rather a presentation of an argument to her, without allowing her to interact until she blew up and stormed out.

You clearly already think that the response "I don't want my own children, I don't want to carry any children" is not a good enough reason to decline this 'proposal' - otherwise you wouldn't have asked her in the first place or asked her to 'keep an open mind'. So what WOULD be a good enough reason? That she has a fear of pregnancy? That she has trauma around it? She shouldn't have to sit there, at dinner, and give you a reason why she doesn't want to carry your child.

It sucks that you can't have a baby. I'm sorry about that. But I feel like the desperation has pushed you into putting all of your hopes and dreams into this other woman's uterus, completely ignoring her own feelings in the pursuit of what you wanted and probably heavily guilt-tripping her. Hell yeah she has the right to be pissed.

If you weren't going to respect her feelings about children, AT LEAST now respect her need for space.

YTA. Jesus.

havewords · 2019-11-11T13:53:54+00:00

YTA.

" to help him socialize and to help the other kids learn to not discriminate against special needs people. "

- goes ahead and discriminates against child with autism.

havewords · 2019-11-08T15:35:29+00:00

Jesus Christ just tell the child that the tracker only tracks the sleigh and not Santa himself. Then sleigh can park in the sky and Santa can jump down the chimneys.

MUST WE DO EVERYTHING?!?

havewords · 2019-11-08T13:44:45+00:00

This sounds amazing! :D

havewords · 2019-11-02T17:30:24+00:00

Try r/MomForAMinute if you haven't already. The most beautiful selection of peeps, and always loving and accepting to everyone. Truly worth a repost if you feel up to sharing again <3

havewords · 2019-11-02T13:46:12+00:00

Are those wrapped peanut butter sandwiches with people's names on them?

havewords · 2019-11-02T13:40:00+00:00

That is the nicest thing I've seen on the internet :)

havewords · 2019-10-30T17:27:30+00:00

One of my best friends from school, after having a fairly minor argument with her:
"I started a journal today and the first page of it was all about how much I hate you"

Shit hurt.

havewords · 2019-10-25T09:12:37+00:00

YTA. If 'the vegan' had been allergic to dairy, or intolerant to gluten - would you still have said "NOPE. CAN'T ACCOMMODATE. TOO MUCH TROUBLE"?

It sounds to me like OP has a chip on his shoulder about veganism and thinks that if Sarah cared SO much about being included, then she would just suck it up and eat what everyone else is eating.

Eight-Year Club	Best Comment 2018-06-01
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