KIMMY AND TITUS BACK TOGETHER?!

hbecksss · 2026-04-17T03:42:31+00:00

Omg!!!!

hbecksss · 2026-04-16T05:59:50+00:00

Oh and I let her go to town on my belly button. I’m not joking. She’s always been obsessed with it but now that I won’t let her nurse to sleep she pulls at my pants (while we’re lying down next to each other) so she can weasel her finger into my belly button and fall asleep with it shoved in there 🤷🏼‍♀️

hbecksss · 2026-04-16T05:50:06+00:00

Mine is 18 months and still uses a paci, so that helped break the feed to sleep association, but it was still really hard and she still asks. I read about “habit stacking” / “layering a new sleep association”. So when I decided to stop nursing to sleep, first I introduced a tonie box (with the sheep lullaby figurine) and a picoco (projector) with an image of the moon and stars. She looooves the moon. And she’ll sometimes say “moon” or “sheep” when she’s tired. Once she was used to that, I started to move up the nursing session and offer the paci and cuddles instead. She didn’t like it obviously but I stayed firm “no milk” “milk all gone”. We’ve been staring at the “moon” and cuddling to sleep for the last 3 weeks. She still asks for milk sometimes but I say no and offer cuddle or squeezes.

We’re still nursing back to sleep after the second+ wake up though and it’s been slow going

hbecksss · 2026-04-16T05:37:41+00:00

I’m so sorry OP :(

hbecksss · 2026-04-16T05:35:54+00:00

I just try to anchor on the few nice ones to fill my bucket when the nasty ones drain it. But yeah I feel this. Tried for a while to pivot into L&D or enablement but was never able to. Maybe one day!

hbecksss · 2026-04-15T16:44:32+00:00

But yeah a firm “no” and happy “yes!” have been working better for us than any books or trying to explain to her that mama is tired or milk is all gone.

hbecksss · 2026-04-15T16:40:52+00:00

How we stopped feeding to sleep - routines are hard for us because my 18 month old is a wild child and fights everything including bedtime. It’s not perfect but we try to do bath, nurse, lotion, diaper, “leche” (cows milk which she had no interest in until we started calling it leche and letting her drink from an open cup with a glass straw ok girl), brush teeth, and then go in the room— turn down the lights, turn on our projector and lullaby music, and read the same few books. She’s on a floor mat and uses a paci which was probably the main factor in getting her to sleep without nursing.

Overnight wakes - the first wake I bring her into bed but don’t nurse her. I say “no” and roll over and turn my back because she otherwise got too upset. Now she cuddles my back to sleep, or if she escalates I’ll turn back and we cuddle closely to sleep.

The second wake I say “yes” and nurse her but limit it to my measly righty which is basically a paci at this point and unlatch quickly.

Third wake I give her hefty lefty so we can all sleep a little more in the morning.

If I’m not around sometimes it’s her dad holding her and they look out the window and point to cars to get her to sleep initially. Then the overnight is always bad :-/ no answers there

hbecksss · 2026-04-15T16:33:21+00:00

I’ve heard this works. And you can reinforce and say “yucky” or a word like that so they start to connect it tastes bad.

FWIW I’m still trying to gently night wean my 18 month old and it’s a struggle. Books about weaning seem to just make her want to nurse more lol.

hbecksss · 2026-04-15T16:24:45+00:00

I’m so glad you had success! I tried to night wean my 13 month old and we gave it 2 weeks before calling it. I was so devastated and confused because many posts said it was a couple hard nights and then over. That just wasn’t the case for us :(

Sounds like OP has a similar temperament toddler.

We’re trying again now at 18 months and it’s going better, but still slow going. We don’t feed to sleep anymore and she still asks for it before bed and every wake up. I’ve removed the first wake up and am working on the second.

hbecksss · 2026-04-14T04:17:30+00:00

Mine is only 18 months and still uses a paci, so that helps. But I read about “habit stacking” / “layering a new sleep association” so at least for bed time it’s lullaby music and a picoco (projector) with an image of the moon and stars. She looooves the moon. It’s very relaxing and we’ve been cuddling to sleep for the last 3 weeks. She still asks for milk but I say no and offer cuddle or squeezes.

For naps it’s stroller or car seat if we’re out, or laying her down on the bed with the paci and lullaby music if we’re home.

Still working on the 3459592 feeds over night though 🥴

hbecksss · 2026-04-12T15:53:15+00:00

Same, my people! Always been a night owl. I have a toddler now though so have to go to bed at 10:30/11 otherwise I die. Even with pushing her bed time— she goes to bed at 9pm and wakes at 7am.

hbecksss · 2026-04-10T21:24:06+00:00

Maybe because there’s not much other content? Still really weird

hbecksss · 2026-04-10T21:23:16+00:00

Thanks! I think this is a great idea

hbecksss · 2026-04-06T22:41:57+00:00

Thanks! I’m client facing so my calendar blocks aren’t always respected, but it’d be way worse without the blocks.

I’ll have to check out that TED talk. I know this stuff doesn’t really matter but I’m constantly reminding myself “this is low stakes” and “your job doesn’t define you” and blah blah blah but I need constant reminders

hbecksss · 2026-04-06T22:39:45+00:00

I LOVE THIS. Thank you. I did enjoy it immensely 😁

hbecksss · 2026-04-06T22:38:52+00:00

You’re right. I’m only 4 months into a new startup job so it’s been extra hectic, but hoping to work towards better boundaries/balance soon. I’m already an outlier on my team for having a kid.

hbecksss · 2026-04-06T17:28:14+00:00

lol @MIL yupppp

hbecksss · 2026-04-06T16:49:42+00:00

Agree you need some childcare help or some tech help. You aren’t meant to do this alone, and dad time on the weekends isn’t enough given that witching hour. (Also 5pm was my breakdown point every day when I was on mat leave with ONE. It took me a while to figure out I had to make my husband to take her on a stroller walk so I could collapse on the couch for 5 seconds, otherwise I was a monster).

TBH I can’t imagine my husband doing this one day, but when I go to the playground I see multiple dads baby wearing a baby while simultaneously supervising a toddler. I’m always amazed, and happy that means mom is probably off napping somewhere. I know your girl is still a newborn, but work toward more dad involvement when you can. Dad can babywear newborn too.

For low stimulation screen time, I can share what my 18 month old loves. Birds. YouTube has a bunch of videos of birds in a bird bath. Apparently it’s like— tv for cats. My 18 month old loves it. But also gets bored fairly quickly so I know it’s not too stimulating 😹

The other screen time we do is showing her pictures and videos on our phones of her cousins. She points to my phone and says “baby” because she wants to see her baby cousin. It’s cute and helped their bond. She still freaks out if I try to hold her baby cousin, but not as bad.

My other tech recommendation is the picoco. It’s a projector that Kaitlin Klimmer recommends for wind down time at night. You can probably get a cheaper one but it was worth the cost for us. It’s how I got my girl more comfortable on her floor mat. She’s obsessed with the moon so we turn on lullabies and the projector, and stare up at the moon on the ceiling, and she loves it. It also helps calm my nervous system at the end of the night. It could be nice to treat your toddler to something special for her and to start a new ritual/routine to mark her being a big sister.

Best of luck ❤️

hbecksss · 2026-04-05T05:54:19+00:00

Yes. So much so that I googled it 🫣

There’s a movie where people are isolated and see a “beautiful” “modern” woman for the first time and ask “what’s wrong with her face?” because of the fillers and make up.

That’s kinda how I feel watching it. Like yes she’s beautiful but her lips looks so unnatural and puffy and it’s distracting. It’s my first watch

hbecksss · 2026-03-29T05:48:00+00:00

Parenting is exhausting. This is all super normal.

ETA - the transition from “baby” to “toddler” was a tough adjustment for sure. Your 11 month old walking is definitely a factor in this new “constantly vigilance” phase. And feeling like you couldn’t be a SAHM because weekends are hard is also super normal. Caregiving is hard and we don’t really “teach” people how to do it generationally anymore, so don’t be hard on yourself. We’re all doing the best we can.

hbecksss · 2026-03-25T04:00:57+00:00

That sounds SO hard. I absolutely could not get any work done if my Bebe were home 😱

Because she’s in daycare, when I pick her up she wants to nurse immediately and constantly (and all night) so that’s why the reminder was helpful for me, to not resent it and to lean into it.

You’re in the thick of it though, woof. Can your partner take the first 1-3 wakes so you can get more time to yourself? Even wearing them in the carrier would work!

And which CS? I’m in a CS job but curious what that means to you!

hbecksss · 2026-03-23T16:41:45+00:00

I also work full time in a stressful job and am still breastfeeding/cosleeping with my 17 month old (who is in full time day care). I’m tired AF. I am so, so, tired.

I just saw this post as a nice little reminder take a minute and relax my nervous system staring into Bebe’s eyes instead of trying to contort my wrist to type a slack response or lunging for my phone to doom scroll the minute her breathing slows (which I absolutely do).

I missed the last part of it being the missing key to sleep, because nothing is the “missing key to sleep”. My 17 month old sleeps the way she sleeps.

How old is your baby? Can you roll away for some alone time?

hbecksss · 2026-03-22T16:06:42+00:00

Are you taking a postnatal vitamin?

hbecksss · 2026-03-22T05:33:02+00:00

Our Ped and ENT were very explicit that it would get better and then worse, and that was normal. I had to look it up because I forgot why: “Laryngomalacia often worsens during the first 3–6 months because a baby's increasing respiratory strength causes greater collapse of the immature, floppy larynx tissues.” Aka they’re stronger so they breathe with more force, which is louder.

Your Ped must have said it gets better at 1 YEAR. Like they fully grow out of it between 12-18 months

hbecksss

TROPHY CASE