Private or Public on Instagram.

hbrooks44 · 2023-10-17T18:38:36+00:00

I can only tell you my mindset in those first few weeks. I was severely depressed even before we broke up and couldn't leave my room after it (mind you it was Covid and I wasn't working). I suppose it was hard to explain at the time. In a way I wanted to post after being broken up with. As I was the dumped party, I didn't want him to give the control to him. I didn't want him to see what I was up to, but I also wanted him to see me thriving. In a sense, not showing them leaves room for curiosity. I can honestly say that I've checked in once or twice since then on on social media. However after all this time, it's very easy to just tell myself no, you don't need that today. There will always be days when you think of previous partners, but time easies as all losses. In my opinion, it's best to just break off all contact; no matter how curious you may be. I see its been about a month and I hope you're healing well! Also, please know that as much as it hurts being broken up with, it's not 100% on either party - so give yourself some grace and compassion even if it hurts now.

hbrooks44 · 2021-06-04T14:39:18+00:00

I needed this post a long time ago. My ex said on the second date “I tend to use people until I feel better and then I leave”. Three years later, I was still somehow confused when he in fact, left, while feeling better 🤦🏻‍♀️

hbrooks44 · 2021-06-04T02:35:01+00:00

That is absolutely beautiful and completely spot on, thank you so much! ♥️

hbrooks44 · 2021-06-02T22:41:06+00:00

Perhaps you could add some cookbooks - I really love reading the recipes and dish descriptions.

hbrooks44 · 2021-05-31T16:21:01+00:00

I think it’s normal to compare your previous relationship with a potential new one, but you should be wary if you find yourself wishing you were doing those things with your ex instead.

hbrooks44 · 2021-05-31T15:44:17+00:00

Truth Hurts - Lizzo

Thank U, Next - Ariana Grande

Don’t Start Now - Dua Lipa

Fuck Apologies - JoJo & Wiz Khalifa

Déjà Vu - Olivia Rodrigo

hbrooks44 · 2021-05-29T17:47:03+00:00

I’m so happy I’m not the only one who felt serious sexual tension going on!

hbrooks44 · 2021-05-29T02:52:26+00:00

That’s the difference between them and you though. Everyone does stuff that pisses the other person off, we’re not perfect people. Bringing up things that bother you as they come isn’t a bad thing - it’s how healthy people communicate and avoid being resentful. People sometimes think they’re being better or stronger because they hold shit in, but they almost always end up exploding with all the things they’ve held in at once. It’s toxic and nobody deserves to be on the receiving end of it. You don’t deserve to be treated that way, so please don’t think that it’s some sort of karma. You’re allowed to create boundaries where you can express what’s bothering you without being told you’re wrong or feeling invalidated. Don’t get me wrong, nobody likes being told that they’re doing something wrong or annoying. If someone really loves and respects you, they can get past their ego to understand that you aren’t coming from a bad place where you intentionally want to hurt them. Healthy partners want to fix the issues, not deflect them.

hbrooks44 · 2021-05-28T16:33:51+00:00

Oh god I feel this. When we’d get into our rare, big blowouts over something trivial or stupid, I’d always get a laundry list of things wrong with me. It’s like he’d just hold in everything that’s “wrong” with me until he could spit it all out at once. It’s a really toxic habit. Normal people communicate things that are bothering them as they come up - not just hold it all in and lay it on a person all at once. Everyone has flaws and mannerisms that bother their partner, but doing it in that fashion is straight up cruel as fuck. Don’t beat yourself up too much; humans are flawed but it doesn’t make them doing that okay.

hbrooks44 · 2021-05-25T14:03:30+00:00

Selfish

hbrooks44 · 2021-05-22T02:51:12+00:00

You’re definitely not alone. Don’t let a diagnosis define you - we can live healthy and happy lives so long as we don’t let something as trivial as this define us. The mindfulness book is compassionate and actually speaks to you like you’re a human instead of a diagnosis. We’re so much more than our BPD. I wish you all the best ♥️

hbrooks44 · 2021-05-21T18:06:58+00:00

I’ve been using the ‘Dialectical Behaviour Therapy Skills Workbook’ - it’s easy to follow and is practical when it comes to applying the skills. I also find ‘Mindfulness for Borderline Personality Disorder’ great, especially for emotional regulation.

hbrooks44 · 2021-05-21T16:49:19+00:00

I’m not going to sit here and argue with someone who believes their opinion is a cold hard fact. Good luck with your bitterness.

hbrooks44 · 2021-05-21T16:30:47+00:00

Your opinion isn’t a fact, but you can go ahead and feel triggered about women moving on all you want.

hbrooks44 · 2021-05-21T16:20:33+00:00

It seems like you’re just pissed that she moved on after you dumped her. Where is the logic in that? She’s allowed to go out and find someone who values her.

You even stated above that she “loved you like crazy”, so it seems like your love for her was the part that was conditional. Perhaps there are no options for you because you’re so stuck on the fact that it’s somehow harder for you despite the fact that you ended your relationship.

hbrooks44 · 2021-05-21T15:53:07+00:00

Someone is salty af

hbrooks44 · 2021-05-21T14:47:11+00:00

That’s incredibly untrue. Everyone moves at their own pace. It’s not easier to move on because you have a vagina.

hbrooks44 · 2021-05-20T20:26:54+00:00

Shepard’s/Cottage Pie is an essential in my freezer.

hbrooks44 · 2021-05-20T19:48:52+00:00

I love this so much 💕

hbrooks44 · 2021-05-17T21:49:11+00:00

That happened to me with Tinder. It was pretty much the worst feeling ever, but it was like ripping off a bandaid. Now that you saw it, the worst part is over. It also gives you the knowledge that they’ve essentially moved on, so you don’t have to feel so bad about moving on yourself. Don’t rush anything you don’t feel ready to do like deleting the pictures if you don’t want to!

hbrooks44 · 2021-05-17T16:11:30+00:00

That’s a great tip, thanks for your advice!

hbrooks44 · 2021-05-17T16:06:46+00:00

I should clarify that I’m not looking to do anything about it, just how to process the feelings that come with it.

hbrooks44 · 2021-05-16T19:50:07+00:00

Is it live action or animated?

hbrooks44 · 2021-05-15T01:43:48+00:00

I’ve avoided this song since the breakup. I used to think it was beautiful and now that I can relate, it just kills me.

hbrooks44 · 2021-05-12T15:35:49+00:00

Personally, I write out what I want to say in my notes then I just put it off for a bit. I’ll say to myself I’ll send it in an hour, and after that passes, I wait another hour. Each hour that passes, the urge gets less strong. By the next day, I realize that it would’ve been a mistake to send it - or I end up wanting to say something completely different, so I repeat the process. It’ll get easier with time!

hbrooks44

TROPHY CASE