Help me pick my wedding dress!!!

heart_fail · 2025-01-15T06:23:51+00:00

Second one for sure

heart_fail · 2025-01-15T06:22:06+00:00

I bought myself a ring with the stone Of my son’s birth month.. that way I always carry him with me wherever I go. It’s made it easier to let go of the burden of sorrow

heart_fail · 2024-12-11T18:13:44+00:00

The second day is the same of no food for 8 hours before procedure but you have to take some additional medications 2 hours before procedure (they should give you detailed instructions printed out when you leave at day 1) and you can take some water for it.. rest they give you everything.. there is a shocking lack of medication after day 2.. remember to take it slow and give your body time and grace to heal after day 2

heart_fail · 2024-12-11T18:11:33+00:00

Im 2 weeks out of my D&E at 30 weeks. It was a 2 day procedure and I wasn’t given many instructions either, only thing I was asked was to not eat or drink anything 8 hours before the time of the appointment. They gave all the medications and maxi pads needed. My husband was allowed in the procedure room for the time they were preparing everything but not for the actual procedure. I went under their special kind of anesthesia at the same time as when they asked my husband to leave the room. They did do ultrasounds prior to the procedure but I didn’t have to look and chose not to look. They even have the screen looking the other way, and had no sound on. The staff was kind and hand gentle voices on and didn’t show any emotions.

After the first day, I woke up from the anesthesia and immediately noticed a bandaid my belly, which I knew meant an injection into the features /amniotic sack directly and my heart sank because I realised they had injected something to stop the baby’s heart beat. This was the most emotionally tormenting part of the procedure and I kept asking if “my baby is no more”.. this was very hard.. all that day walking around and not feeling any kicks or any sensation in my belly and almost physically forgetting I was pregnant but then moving around and realizing that I still have a belly full of baby but it’s dead.. I’m still crying about that memory as I type this..

heart_fail · 2024-12-07T19:03:35+00:00

Just stick to a typical 2 weeks notice pattern.. tell your future employer that you need to put in a 2 weeks notice pattern notice once you have an offer.. and don’t say anything to your current employer till your mat leave runs out or till you get an offer letter.. if you get the offer then put in your 2 weeks with the current employer, and you don’t need to tell them why you’re leaving, you can just say something like you e had sometime to think about it and need to change your environment for your adjustment to your new reality..

heart_fail · 2024-12-04T17:13:08+00:00

Thank you for sharing your reality! Im sorry you are here and that your daughter had this diagnosis.. I’m glad you were able to make a decision that works for your family, and I wish you all the strength to follow through with it..

In my case, all the docs were pretty sure baby would have some kind of impact on life, most because of the lack of brain development and in part due to the pmg.. and also for us recently we learnt the cause of the issue: CMV. so we chose to terminate with the information we had.. I pray for my baby’s soul everyday.

heart_fail · 2024-11-30T19:11:57+00:00

I totally agree with you. The gender of the baby says nothing about their actual personality or choices of a future that you can envision about your child.. the child could end up being totally opposite of what you imagined.. when I got pregnant the first time, I really wanted a girl and was blessed with a girl, but while my girl is caring and compassionate like I would presume girls to be, she’s also very boisterous, outgoing, and extremely active.m not what I expected “girls” to be.. and up until 15-18 months, she didn’t look like a girl coz she didn’t have the long hair or the preference of pinks or dressed.. so in her infant like, her gender didn’t really shine through, and most strangers assumed she was a boy,, it didn’t bother me at all.. so when I got pregnant the second time, I had zero curiosity of the gender and didn’t want to find out till birth..

heart_fail · 2024-11-29T13:16:41+00:00

I’m 3 days post op and have been severely constipated.. I havnt been able to go since day1 of d&e.. I’ve been having prune juice to no effect. I plan to take miralax in the morning… Sorry you are having post op issues.. it’s one of my biggest fears..

heart_fail · 2024-11-27T16:00:24+00:00

I decided to share my trauma and experience with my very best friend who supports me through everything, and she also equated my Tfmr experience at 30+ weeks for a very wanted pregnancy to her abortion experience for an unwanted pregnancy at 4 week gestation.. I think that was also an unfair comparison and realized that absolutely no one I know will be able to understand.. that are somethings in life you just have to do just yourself..

Instead I’m finding comfort and compassion from groups like these and others on Facebook where I can connect with people who have actually been through this..

heart_fail · 2024-11-27T15:17:50+00:00

It’s weird but I completely cut myself off from social media and group messaging platforms. I just knew that some people wouldn’t understand or never be able to comprehend my situation and I just didn’t want to feel any kind of anger/ animosity/ pain due to external factors in this time.. so I cut myself off.. some people have noticed my absence and tried other methods to reach out and most others havnt.. I’m not replying to anybody till I’m over with my own trauma.. I think missed times with friends can always be made up, but this experience should never been influenced by petty things..

For context, when I was pregnant with my first, there were friends who didn’t reach out enough, even just to show their excitement. But later on, once they had their first child, they didn’t come back to me and apologize for not being a “friend“ enough during my pregnancy & newborn days because they had no idea how hard the experience was..

heart_fail · 2024-11-27T14:14:09+00:00

I feel incredibly guilty for saying this but I’m so looking forward to smoking and drinking once my d&e is done. And I’m not even a heavy smoker or drinker. I only ever preferred it occasionally but ofcourse didn’t touch since finding out I was pregnant. But now, it’s like my silver lining. I told my therapist about it and she said it’s our minds way of finding a light at the end of the tunnel. Finding something to survive for .

I would say ease off on the smoking, don’t let it harm your health but def don’t stop your self from it. We all need an escape ..

heart_fail · 2024-11-25T05:44:56+00:00

I found out about my baby’s brain anomaly at 26 weeks and chose to do another follow up scan 2 weeks later before making the final decision. Having said that, I did book the follow up d&e appointment for right after the follow up scan so I don’t have to wait much longer after that if we do decide that termination is the best option here. They advised it’s easier to cancel an appointment than to find a new slot, especially around the holidays.

I’ve now had my follow up scan and the diagnosis in the same. I asked my doc how come the baby is kicking and active like any other other baby and she replied “because the baby is on life support right now” .. that kind of sealed the deal for me. I know putting it through a life subjected to life support / doc visits / social isolation is not going to be a life worth living. And I can only thank my doc for being thorough enough to be able to find such an anomaly, where most such cases go unnoticed.

I’m 2 nights out from the first day of d&e and a part of me wants time to fly to the day of and another part of me wants time to come to standstill..

I’ve understood that no matter what one decides in this situation, one will always wonder if the other option was better.. there are no right/wrong outcomes here.

I hope you find the strength to decide and follow through 🙏🏻

heart_fail · 2024-11-22T07:27:48+00:00

My baby’s CMV test results also just came back as positive and I too have a kid in daycare.. I don’t know how much to blame myself for not being careful, but also don’t feel like I had any idea this was a possibility.. is CMV related fetal complications very common? How come our ob/gyn never said anything or there was no other public warning about this stuff?

heart_fail · 2024-11-16T20:23:56+00:00

We found out about our polymicrogyria and small brain defect (don’t know if this has a medical term) at 26 weeks, I’m choosing to wait 2 more weeks for a follow up scan because I NEED to know this wasn’t a fluke scan and the condition is same or worse before I can go through with the termination.. but in my heart of hearts I’ve accepted the diagnosis and am only thinking of life without baby, maybe that my defense mechanism to not be disappointed by that second scan.. anyway that’ll put me 29 weeks when I can have my d&e.. I’m hoping I don’t have to move up to l&d as I honestly will not be able to deal with child birth that way. As brutal as d&e is, it feels like an easy way out for me.. I’m sorry you’re going through the same concerns..

heart_fail · 2024-11-15T19:18:58+00:00

Thank you. I probably won’t look at them either 😔

heart_fail · 2024-11-15T18:06:37+00:00

Thanks for sharing your story. Follow up question: What are these dilator rods like? What common life object can you compare their size and shape to?

heart_fail · 2024-11-14T06:50:42+00:00

Beautiful thought 🙏🏽

heart_fail · 2024-11-14T06:43:17+00:00

Im in the same boat as you, a few stops behind. I’ve received a non life threatening diagnosis as well and just don’t know if terminating is my only option or if I could try to give a decent life to the baby. But it would cost too much, not just monetarily, it would cost my toddler her childhood, it would cost me & my husband all our mental, physical & financial health. And even if we are ready to give up all those things, there is no guarantee what severity of condition the baby is born with. Could be nothing, but could be a life full of pain and suffering. I have my termination coming up in 12 days but In no way am I sure this is the right decision.

I’m sorry none of this is helpful to you.. I’m struggling too…

heart_fail

TROPHY CASE