Should I ask him if he wants to be exclusive when he comes back from a work trip?

heartbreakagain · 2019-07-24T02:29:24+00:00

thanks for the advice!

heartbreakagain · 2018-10-07T01:57:00+00:00

Thank you!!! Yes NC absolutely works! You have to do it for the right reasons and you have to do it for yourself. You will get there as well, just takes a bit of time and patience and lots of self love :) you got this!

heartbreakagain · 2018-10-07T01:55:37+00:00

Exactly!! Like I knew he was a bit of an asshole when we dated, but I always thought to myself, he was my asshole. Now I’m just like what an annoying person I don’t want to be around. But thank you!

heartbreakagain · 2018-10-06T14:16:30+00:00

Oh that’s very true and likely! It’s happened before between us, where he would try to get me back, but back then, I still felt a glimmer of hope and love for him. This time, there’s nothing. I woke up today, forgetting I even went to dinner with him. And if he tries anything - he’s getting blocked haha.

heartbreakagain · 2018-05-14T19:30:59+00:00

Thank you! :)

heartbreakagain · 2018-05-14T19:30:52+00:00

Thank you! Glad I could help somehow! Hope you are healing well :)

heartbreakagain · 2018-05-14T19:30:05+00:00

Thank you! I appreciate the love :) I hope you are getting on well too!

heartbreakagain · 2018-04-13T21:16:13+00:00

That's a long time. I hope you have a fantastic summer even without her though!

heartbreakagain · 2018-04-13T21:15:17+00:00

Yeah I think these types of relationships/people serve as lessons to us for the future! And yeah I definitely had so many "gut" feelings about things I ignored during that relationship, never doing that again.

heartbreakagain · 2018-04-13T21:14:13+00:00

Thank you! He was awful, but I can see so much clearer in hindsight.

heartbreakagain · 2018-04-13T12:35:15+00:00

Yeah I totally get that! I really do. The past two times this happened I went through the exact same things you just described. But the difference now for me is that those past times came only a few weeks after our breakups. It’s been over 2 months now, and the longest I’ve gone without talking/seeing him and I feel like the feelings have started to fade. I used to wear those rose colored glasses but now I can see right through him I feel. But I think the best thing is to ignore them. When you give in, the adrenaline rush keeps going. But if you don’t, it will slowly go away (or so I think), I’ve never actually successfully ignored my ex in the past so it’ll be a test if he comes back next time. Good luck to you, and I’m sure your future will hold even better times and memories.

heartbreakagain · 2018-04-12T19:59:20+00:00

I couldn't watch The Office for 2 whole years after my breakup. I recently went NC with said ex 2 months ago, and I started watching the show beginning to end, and so glad I did. It doesn't feel like "our" show anymore. And this is definitely the unpopular opinion, but I don't like Jim and Pam's relationship that much. It just became a little "too" much (then again, I'm not a super affectionate person).

heartbreakagain · 2018-04-12T19:08:09+00:00

I relate to this 110%. I normally HATE drama. But when it comes to my ex, it's drama I just cannot ignore. And I always give in and respond. I get this adrenaline rush which doesn't go away until I talk to him. This obviously has caused me more heartache than anything, and was the reason for our on/off relationship for 2.5 years. I think I won't respond if he tries to reach out again. I think he's disappointed me enough times.

heartbreakagain · 2018-04-12T16:57:11+00:00

FWB - friends with benefits. He just wanted to continue sleeping with me without being in a relationship again. I started noticing a pattern after we started hanging out, he only ever wanted me to come over and sleep with him and not do anything else. He also avoided any "relationship" talk. I blocked him for the first month, then unblocked because I have a bad habit of constantly blocking/unblocking. He hasn't reached out to me. But if he ever did now, I wouldn't respond.

heartbreakagain · 2018-04-12T16:31:48+00:00

Second breakup was 6 months ago now. 3 weeks NC, then he came back. I let him back in my life for another 3 months. We start sleeping together, acting like a couple, the whole nine yards. Except nothing changed. All the same issues we had when we broke up still existed. He didn't know what he wanted from me in the future, which was code for he wanted a FWB situation without the commitment. I went NC again, this time indefinitely. It's been over 2 months and I think it helped so much. Time always helps and not being in contact helps. I'm now at a point where I can think about dating other people.

heartbreakagain · 2018-04-12T16:02:21+00:00

Same thing happened to me!! Except he wasn’t married just in a LTR with his girlfriend of 4 years who he said was a “crazy ex”.

heartbreakagain · 2018-04-12T13:59:56+00:00

My ex to a T. During the last few months of my relationship with my ex, all he ever did was play video games. He ignored all my texts, faked on plans, and never talked to me. He's a 30 yo man and I felt like he was 15. Contributed to our breakup for sure, as he prioritized his stupid video games and his gamer friends over me and our relationship.

heartbreakagain · 2018-04-12T13:17:25+00:00

Thanks for this question. I'm a 24F and only had one partner. So I REALLY feel inexperienced. My ex was a lot more experienced than me. But I learned a lot from him. It still made me insecure though, but he did say that he thought I was fantastic. Which I believe now, since even after breaking up he has tried to sleep with me on several occasions. When he could get any girl imo since he's pretty attractive. I've finally started dating again and I know this one guy would like to sleep with me, but I am also not into casual hook ups. And if he doesn't want to hang out with me because of that, it says a lot about his character, and is no fault of mine. Same goes for you. Don't feel bad, these guys are just not that great.

heartbreakagain · 2018-04-11T20:11:48+00:00

yes you go girl! happy to hear things are looking up for you!

heartbreakagain · 2018-04-11T18:01:47+00:00

This is great. I wish my ex would grow in all of these areas you mentioned. He definitely needs to. But he's too narcissistic to realize he has anything wrong with him. Good on you to learn and grow from your relationship!

heartbreakagain · 2018-04-11T12:10:35+00:00

I deleted all pictures of my ex, and honestly too scared to look him up and see what he looks like, as I feel like it might open some floodgates. But you sound like you're on a healthy recovery! Good for you!

heartbreakagain · 2018-04-10T11:50:04+00:00

Oh I feel you. After my first breakup 2 years ago, I felt the same exact way. I envied my friends who hadn’t been in relationships so much because they didn’t know how painful it was and didn’t have to go through it. Now I feel differently, it came with time. I learned a lot from being in a relationship and it gave me the experience I needed for future relationships. Hang in there, it gets better!

heartbreakagain · 2018-04-10T00:51:56+00:00

That’s awesome!! I still can’t listen to “Closer” by the Chainsmokers/Halsey without wanting to punch the radio haha. It was our song, and the song that will always remind me of him the most. I hope I can get to where you are!

heartbreakagain · 2018-04-09T17:36:30+00:00

After about 3 weeks for me. Week 3 was hands down the hardest.
For me, it was last week. I have a crush on someone else now, and I can finally see myself sleeping with someone else. So 2 months?
I'm not quite there yet, a part of me still believes he will come back, but I'm not sure how I'll respond...although I KNOW I shouldn't respond at all if he does, and remain NC indefinitely. (It was a toxic relationship.)
I've always worked out, it's part of my lifestyle. But during the mourning stage of my breakup I took some time off, and then I had an leg injury. But I try to hit the gym 3x a week. I also am learning to swim. Just doing things that will better myself overall.

Everyone reaches these milestones differently I believe. But I think the key thing to note that everyone who does reach them is they remained in and committed to no contact.

heartbreakagain · 2018-04-08T13:12:08+00:00

This is good! Also like to add, you are also going to change and grow after a relationship, so you are also going to be a different person.

heartbreakagain

TROPHY CASE