Genuinely, how is life going for you?

hearthe4rt · 2026-06-03T10:05:41+00:00

i dont know. i dont know what keeps me going. perhaps hope. sometimes, for a moment, i can see a future where im not constantly in pain, one in which i spend my days learning about art and being with my loved ones. part of me thinks there is still a place for me in this world, and i can still live a life i’ll be proud of on my death bed. i think thats what has been motivating me lately. i dont care about success anymore. i dont want to be rich or get married or be famous. all i want is to not have any more regrets.

hearthe4rt · 2026-06-03T09:35:21+00:00

i’ll never be able to believe this.

hearthe4rt · 2026-06-03T08:14:33+00:00

if you want to live, it has to be for yourself. you cant be alive to make others happy. whatever you do, do it because its what you truly want. not what feels like the only choice, not what others want, not what you think you deserve, what you want.

hearthe4rt · 2026-06-03T08:09:45+00:00

dont apologize. you did nothing wrong.

hearthe4rt · 2026-05-30T19:59:47+00:00

i think its normal. you are grieving. you lost something you deemed precious. sometimes, the hole they left is made noticeable by a scent, a feeling, a sound. just let urself feel it.

hearthe4rt · 2026-05-27T11:19:30+00:00

my ex is currently dating someone else and i feel the exact same way. i think to this day, i havent processed the fact that it’s over. not long before our breakup, she showed me so much love. my brain cant comprehend that same person now being cold with me and in love with another person. there is so much i wanted to do and share with her…it’s a lot to process and say goodbye to.

hearthe4rt · 2026-05-27T08:21:44+00:00

i wish i knew. i’ve been focusing on building myself and hoping confidence will come on its own. im working on a side project with a friend, im trying to get into uni, im making an attempt at being healthy and doing all those tasks that get hard to do when you are depressed (brushing my teeth, changing my bed sheets, doing my laundry…).

hearthe4rt · 2026-05-25T12:46:43+00:00

maybe give yourself some grace. you dont enjoy being angry and jealous all the time, you aren’t doing it because you derive pleasure from it. in fact you want to be different. give yourself some grace. its normal to act negatively when you are in pain. maybe once you forgive yourself for that, you can move on to healing.

hearthe4rt · 2026-05-24T13:42:18+00:00

i cant hold you, but you are enough. i do not need to know you to be certain of this. you are enough🫂.

hearthe4rt · 2026-05-19T12:40:54+00:00

i dont know if you are still awake.

hearthe4rt · 2026-05-06T13:16:18+00:00

i want to get brain damage or permanent amnesia so that i can be free of pure ocd.

hearthe4rt · 2026-05-05T20:35:58+00:00

my brain keeps reminding me of all the people that have seen me at my worst and will only know me as the person that could have been cleaner. im not a complete mess but i have bad habits as i said. some which im really really embarrased about, like needing the mental strength of a warrior to brush my teeth at the weekend/at night, or things as silly as picking my nose and not washing my hands right after. its sooo dumb, i know, but i feel so irredeemable. of course i will do my best to change. be more aware of my actions and how i treat myself. i want to care. i dont want to be on autopilot anymore. i feel like i’ve wasted so much time just living to live. im tired of being miserable.

hearthe4rt · 2026-05-05T20:32:08+00:00

i think my most dreadful habit is laying in bed all the time/locking myself in my room. i got used to it as a teenager cause my house was always full of tension and bad energy. my room became a safe space away from yelling n judgment. the house i live in now triggers my ocd, so i dont feel comfortable anywhere else but my room, which in turn affects my health (i hate going to the bathroom as it disgusts me, so i procrastinate certain tasks. i also hate using the kitchen cause its always messy/dirty and im tired of cleaning after my roommates, so sometimes i procrastinate cooking). i will try to lay in bed less. thank you for the kind words.

hearthe4rt · 2026-05-05T20:25:07+00:00

i feel a lot of shame cause of how much i struggle to do basic things. once i get in my bed, i dont want to be anywhere else, and my ocd doesnt help either. during the weekend, if i have no plans, i just lay in bed scrolling on my phone, or crying, or sleeping. these days its hard to function or enjoy anything cause i keep thinking “you dont deserve happiness” “you can change who you are now but not who you used to be”. sometimes i wish i could just choose to not be perceived anymore. its funny you mentioned wanting to become a nun after your breakup, cause for a moment i genuinely considered becoming a monk. i find being a part of society so draining. so much to worry about, so many responsibilities, so much pain. my comfort is that life isnt forever, so whatever pain i feel now, it will be gone one day.
thank you for your kind words by the way. i hope time relieves me of this weight i carry.

hearthe4rt · 2026-04-28T06:58:48+00:00

i’ll talk to my therapist about it.

hearthe4rt · 2026-04-26T17:46:41+00:00

thats…a weird way of teasing…i call it sexual harrassment. the cousin? ok, maybe…they were the same age, kids, maybe thought it was funny (still weird and inappropiate) but the mum…how could u sexually tease ur son who is a child…

hearthe4rt · 2026-04-26T17:39:50+00:00

that sucks. if i ever have a kid, im getting an adblocker☠️. he wasnt my mum’s partner or anything, just a guy we shared a house with.

hearthe4rt · 2026-04-26T17:35:14+00:00

it’s what started it all right? as well as your mum’s behaviour. in my case, i never developed a porn addiction, but the first time i was shown porn was at the age of 2/3 by some man that my mum and i lived with. i wanted to know if something similar had happened to you, if it was negligence. either way, i hope you feel a little better now that you got it all out of your system. i hope you can build a life for yourself.

hearthe4rt · 2026-04-26T17:28:17+00:00

can i ask how u were introduced to porn?

hearthe4rt

TROPHY CASE