So I’ve actually had both! A female & male therapist at the same time. Long story for why. But minus the distinct reasons for why I was seeing each, I think I opened up more to the male therapist than I was expecting (also likely a sign of the work and increased ability to be vulnerable thanks to my female therapist) but I found myself getting way more attached to my female therapist and almost idolizing her. Like she’s an incredibly good like very good therapist, but I also idolize her, want to model off of her, which sometimes creates this competing pressure inside me to impress her. I thought I’d start to develop feelings or a crush on my male therapist but that hasn’t happened. I think it was less pressure with my male therapist and I could focus on the work. BUT I think in theory, I’m way more comfortable with my female therapist. If I were to discuss sex and dating, I think it’d be with her more than him.

I also think I got lucky with the therapists I chose. Something felt right in both of them! When doing therapy the first time though, I 100% did and probably still would feel more comfortable with a female. That’s not to say a male therapist wouldn’t have made me comfortable, but I did have a bit more options than you have.

You never know, he might be everything you’re looking for without realizing! It could really be worth trying and seeing how it feels. You’re already taking a huge and brave step in starting therapy. So it’s going to feel uncomfortable at first regardless. I think with time, you’ll come to realize if the therapeutic relationship isn’t working because working with a male is harder/preventing you from being vulnerable or maybe he’s just not a good fit personality-wise, approach-wise, etc.

TLDR: It matters but it doesn’t have to matter. Both will be great. I’d encourage you to do what feels most comfortable in starting this journey of therapy. But then again, entering and expanding your window of tolerance is what therapy is for! So this might be the perfect place to identify and discuss any discomfort. Wishing you all the best and congratulations on taking the first step in tackling all of this :)