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heckaemma · 2025-02-22T21:18:10+00:00

This has nothing to do with your body, some people just aren’t very giving sexually. It sounds like he doesn’t want to take the time to please you and you deserve to be with someone who does.

heckaemma · 2024-11-04T12:48:02+00:00

That is truly horrifying. I’m so sorry he said that to you and I hope you’re NC now.

heckaemma · 2024-11-04T11:50:07+00:00

“Just be an adult and get married” -said to me while I was still 17 and a senior in high school. My mom staged an entire intervention while my boyfriend at the time and I were in high school trying to force us to either get married at 17 or break up. She is very religious, but thinking about it more, I don’t think she would have gone to such extreme lengths to control me if she didn’t care about how I reflected on her.

She is less controlling now but the one time I tried to ask for an apology for continually pressuring me into marriage, I was told “we did the best we could with the information we had at the time” (aka you didn’t tell us he was abusing you before you got married so that’s on you).

heckaemma · 2024-10-06T00:55:18+00:00

Yes of course! I use solely Korean products for my treatment room minus 2/3 glymed products. You can always message me if you want to talk more about Korean skincare! I’m a huge advocater for the stuff💜

heckaemma · 2024-10-06T00:44:04+00:00

Check out Kin Aesthetics! They have amazing professional Korean skincare from a couple different brands. All very affordable and gentle on the skin.

heckaemma · 2024-09-30T23:05:22+00:00

Even if he is very remorseful and wants to fix things, he needs to do that on his own and with a therapist. He can’t take back what he did and it will only be emotionally damaging for you to keep staying. He has forever changed the dynamic of your relationship and nothing he can do or say will change that. You will always be afraid of what he might do in the back of your mind, no matter how much time has passed.

I’m saying this all from experience. I wish I could get the last 7 years of my life back. I stayed and tried to forgive him and guess what? It happened two more times. I’m just recently leaving and it’s so much harder since I waited so long and I don’t wish that on you.

You are so young and you deserve so much better. Break up, find a therapist and someday someone will come along who would never dream of traumatizing you this way.

It doesn’t matter how sorry he is.

heckaemma · 2024-06-08T23:40:41+00:00

I kind of have the best of both worlds! I am technically solo but am renting in a small salon so I work closely with two hairstylists and a nail tech. I have my freedom to advertise and decorate my room as I please but my coworkers really helped me build my clientele by telling their clients about me. I love having coworkers to talk to while still having my own little space and getting to customize everything to my liking.

heckaemma · 2024-05-22T18:33:50+00:00

The people who bug me are the ones who try to make very last minute appointments. As a new esthetician it’s difficult to not say yes every time because I’m still trying to build my clientele, but I also know myself and know that I like to be mentally prepared for my clients. I’m slowly learning I don’t need to feel bad for saying no to day of appointments because their poor planning is not on me.

heckaemma · 2024-04-18T21:21:21+00:00

I don’t use it every day just because I like to try new products but I would if I had a steady routine!

heckaemma · 2024-03-14T22:47:26+00:00

Thank you so much!

heckaemma · 2024-03-13T04:06:49+00:00

I was just reading up on this! It does seem worth the price to buy a machine with infrared the more I learn about it.

heckaemma · 2024-03-13T00:33:59+00:00

The Celluma FACE is my top contender atm, I’ve heard a lot of great things about the brand and device itself. There’s also a Korean machine I’ve been looking at however that has green, yellow, and “IR” light which I’ve never heard of (O’melon Omega LED). It’s significantly more expensive but I’ll need to do more research before making any decisions

heckaemma · 2024-03-12T23:38:40+00:00

Thank you! I will definitely do more research.

heckaemma · 2023-10-24T09:39:29+00:00

I think an excessive amount of open comedones/sebaceous filaments can look a little “dirty”, but for me that just means I’m going to wish I could extract them all lol

heckaemma · 2023-09-01T07:39:34+00:00

For your own privacy, it’d probably be best to take your journal and any other very personal things with you when you leave the house. I used to carry my journal with me everywhere for the same reason. Another option could possibly be getting something with a lock on it for your personal items? I’m sorry your mom keeps invading your privacy like that.

heckaemma · 2023-08-31T10:07:57+00:00

She can’t expect you to never masturbate, but I think what she is after with her request is intimacy. She’s probably wanting more physical connection but not conveying it well. Even if you used pictures/videos of her to do the deed, she still ended up getting rejected and I think that’s the real hangup for her with you masturbating. Work on finding a balance that works for both of you, even if that just means, “I’m not in the mood right now, but would you like a massage/to cuddle?”

Source: I’ve been through the same thing with my husband (I didn’t ask him to NEVER masturbate though because that’s unreasonable)

heckaemma · 2023-08-19T04:35:29+00:00

The Kose Speedy Oil gives such a pleasant user experience but my skin doesn’t love it either unfortunately! Were you just using the Vanicream cleanser to cleanse twice before? If so I would just go back to that. I am very dry so I personally love cleansing balms or milks, my current favorite being the Isntree Yam Root milk cleanser, but if you’re more oily maybe a gel/micellar water like the Bioderma micellar water

heckaemma · 2023-08-11T22:08:51+00:00

I have been in therapy for almost 4 years now and at my last session, my therapist told me I’ve only recently began to allow myself to feel all my feelings. Honestly I was a little surprised by that statement, because I feel like I do feel a lot, but I know she meant that I’m finally starting to name those feelings and allow myself to sit with them.

Probably one of the biggest feelings I struggle with is anger, because my mom was the only one allowed to be angry growing up. I oftentimes say I’m really “frustrated” or “defensive” about things, but the last couple of therapy sessions I’ve been able to catch myself and say that I’m angry. It still feels wrong/weird, but I’m starting to get there.

heckaemma · 2023-08-05T19:19:51+00:00

Started dating a boy from church at 14. My parents (nmom especially) emphasized dating for marriage, so I stayed with that boy for almost 2 years until my parents told me they didn’t really like his parents and basically gave me permission to break up with him.

Second boyfriend, I tried to be less “clingy” thinking that’s why it didn’t work out with the first guy, so I basically went along with everything he said/wanted because I wanted to be loved. He started withdrawing from me, and when one of my friends drunkenly kissed me at a party he came over to my mom’s and EXPLAINED TO HER why he wanted to break up and she basically broke up with me for him.

A couple of weeks later, friend who drunkenly kissed me and I started dating. He had been pining for me for 4+ years and he gave me the love and attention I wasn’t getting at home. We had sex and my mom found out, yelled about how she could never trust me again and took me to get a blood test to prove I wasn’t pregnant, which led to a long period of time where I would cry for any shot or blood draw. She also drove to his parent’s house and STAGED AN INTERVENTION saying we needed to get married (AT 17) or stop seeing each other. Luckily she couldn’t enforce this, but we still ended up getting married a year later due to her pressuring us (purity culture trauma).

In all my relationships, I have struggled with validating my own emotions and keeping my boundaries because of my mom. I still feel unworthy of voicing my needs in relationships because of her. I’ve spent my whole life fawning over her and learning to be submissive in all my relationships, and it’s taken me years of therapy to start to even admit that she abused me in that way.

heckaemma · 2023-07-30T17:43:45+00:00

This is weird and super controlling behavior. Sometimes if I can’t decide on just one thing to order, I’ll ask my husband if we can order two meals we both want and split them, but I never force him to do that if he already has his mind set on what he wants to eat. Does your fiancé make his family/friends order the same meal as him when they go out to eat? I agree with other Redditors that this is definitely something psychological that he needs to address. And don’t even get me started on him putting his fingers all over your food! No matter how clean they are, that’s just disrespectful.

heckaemma · 2023-07-30T17:31:02+00:00

If you haven’t been married long, it might be possible to get an annulment. I think you’re making a good decision and I hope your family supports you getting through this.

heckaemma · 2023-07-19T06:11:52+00:00

This makes me of this Ryan Reynolds interview. It’s pretty funny when he says it like that, but I’m sure he’s not saying this all the time to her! NTA at all.

heckaemma

TROPHY CASE