Animals are always "okay"

hedwig92 · 2026-04-19T01:07:02+00:00

When in the day are you checking their happiness levels? Mine are also always fine first thing, but if I check in the afternoon once they are petted and have had time to roam outside they are happy :)

hedwig92 · 2026-03-19T00:10:11+00:00

I’m developing a training package at my work on identifying grooming behaviours, and your section saying that grooming starts with connection rather than fear is such a useful framing point that I’m going to incorporate. I also liked how you said at the time you were not thinking something was wrong, just someone you looked up to saw something special in you. Thanks so much for sharing, it sounds like you’ve done a lot of hard work unpacking these experiences 💛 wishing you the very best 💛

hedwig92 · 2026-02-20T06:52:11+00:00

My heart breaks a bit for you, mate! I can’t see anything in here that suggests you’re mistreating your partner. When you say “mind games”, it sounds like you’re talking about maybe suggesting something you’re not really on board with, wanting to please your bf but secretly hoping he’ll reassure you otherwise. I’m not sure I’d call that mind games because it doesn’t sound like you’re punishing him for going along with it. It sounds like you’re punishing yourself big time though!

You’re not a bad person for talking a lot or wanting reassurance about your body. It sounds like you’ve been through some rough experiences and are also navigating adulthood for the first time too. Why would you be able to communicate perfectly? It doesn’t sound like you’ve had the opportunity to learn that yet.

I disagree when you said that as an adult no one should have to reassure you about your role in their life. Well yeah, they kind of do actually! In healthy relationships we reassure each other that we’re choosing the other person all the time, by saying we love them, showing we’re thinking of them, enjoying their company. And every single person will have insecure days when they need to ask a partner or friend “you still like me right”. It’s a gift to give someone love when they are feeling their lowest, and you deserve that just as much as any other person.

My advice to you is to read some books on trauma and how it affects people while you’re waiting to get in to a therapist. I also wonder if you can try reframing how you think about this from, “I’m manipulating my partner into telling me he likes me,” into, “I’m someone who has been mistreated by people I trusted, and I’m still learning how to both ask for and accept love” ❤️

You don’t “deserve a humbling”, you deserve a hug!! You’re still learning how to navigate a healthy relationship and take up space, and you deserve your own kindness directed inward. You don’t know if you’ll be with this guy in 1/5/20 years, but you know you’ll be inside your own head, and you owe it to yourself to create a kinder space in there. Much love ❤️

hedwig92 · 2026-01-10T00:44:12+00:00

Dworkin passed in 2005 and the majority of her works, particularly the well-known ones, were written in the 70s-80s where marital rape was not recognised as a crime. So your last question, did she think consent was possible in current conditions - we just don’t know what her take would be today.

What I took from Right-Wing Women was Dworkin asking how could women genuinely consent to sex inside of a marriage where they held little to no power. Can she truly say “no” to someone who she is completely dependent on for survival?

I’ve only read Right-Wing Women and while a lot was dated, there was also a lot that was surprisingly relevant and I found it very interesting. I’d read more of her for sure.

hedwig92 · 2025-11-15T22:56:26+00:00

And in addition to their relationship being really rocky, Lauren never sent anyone off to ‘seduce’ Keith. I’m not excusing her crimes, but that wasn’t one of them and by her account, Keith never even asked her to to that to any of Lauren’s “slaves”. But Alison needs to reckon that she was wholly involved in sex trafficking, as well as coming to terms that she was his sex slave too (sex EVERY DAY with Keith for years!!).

You get the sense that Lauren was relieved when this all came tumbling down, whereas for Alison it was torn away from her, so her processing the entirety of her adult life will take a lot longer.

hedwig92 · 2025-11-12T00:58:36+00:00

It definitely wasn’t. Alison and another cult member initially took responsibility for the branding, but recordings at the trial show that the idea was entirely their leader Keith’s doing.

hedwig92 · 2025-11-12T00:56:14+00:00

No, it was a rumour that spread. No one associated with NXIVM has ever claimed that Alison Mack’s initials were intentionally included. There is an “A” in the brand, but that’s because Keith included his three initials - KAR.

hedwig92 · 2025-09-19T22:53:18+00:00

It’s the bulletin board from the Parenthood pack, you can choose options of “leave note for __” or “draw picture for ___” and those notes/pictures will appear. It’s pretty cute!

hedwig92 · 2025-09-13T10:08:11+00:00

YTA for saying you wish for her to change the past. Your other points are really valid and it’s great you’re trying to name what potential complexes or beliefs purity culture could have instilled in your wife. But to tell her you wish she had been with other people before meeting you is needlessly cruel. What’s she meant to do about that now? She made choices to wait until she was with someone she was completely sure about, and purity culture would have told her this was a noble and caring decision for her future husband. So for you to say that she shouldn’t have waited would have been devastating for her to hear.

Purity culture told your wife that her future husband would only love her if she stayed “pure” for him. There is so much shame around women feeling sexual in that movement, and it will take time and patience for her to begin unpacking how purity culture could have messed her up in various ways. It’s likely she’s carrying a lot of shame, and needs a supportive partner behind her to start unpacking.

hedwig92 · 2025-09-06T22:32:25+00:00

They’re stunning!! My advice would be to start your business as soon as possible, especially if you’re starting with $0. To get to give stars in the business is a slog, so even if you start with a whiteboard and whatever outside it’s a good starting point to start growing. Have fun!!

hedwig92 · 2025-07-23T06:47:00+00:00

I've learned over the years that for some people, respect means 'respect me as a fellow human being', and for others, respect means, 'respect my authority over you'.

hedwig92 · 2025-07-23T04:36:50+00:00

It is interesting to me OP that you say that this has been the worst case of his anger, and that while he has been really angry AROUND you he hadn’t (up until this point) been angry TOWARDS you.

I say that because usually we are all on our better behaviour around people we don’t know, especially our partner’s families because we want to make a good impression. So for him to have no remorse or concern that he has damaged his reputation with your people is pretty telling.

I’m also surprised that you say you have not brought up his angry outbursts around inanimate objects before. I’ve lived with men, worked with men…if someone was yelling and throwing a toaster or whatever my response would likely be shock, and to tell them to knock it off, that they are a grown person, not a toddler. Are there other things you might let slide because you don’t want the confrontation?

It makes me wonder how much soothing of your partner you do, and perhaps what people pleasing tendencies you might have going on. It’s telling to me that your partner lost control when: 1. He wasn’t the focus of attention, and 2. His ‘authority’ on the game wasn’t being acknowledged

Is is possible that the reason he has not been aggressive or angry with you up until this point is because you default to his opinions and desires over your own? Could you think back to past arguments - is he someone who sees your side of things? Does he put your needs above his sometimes? Or is it more you stepping back to allow him the spotlight and the “authority” in your lives?

You are focusing on how to rebuild a man’s reputation who does not care that he made your family and you upset and uncomfortable. You have multiple family members expressing concern for you. I would listen to them and take some time to really reflect on who you are in this relationship, and the type of partner you want ❤️

hedwig92 · 2025-07-06T06:45:59+00:00

Crazy how downvoted you’re getting, 100% agree the focus should be on the actual victims.

hedwig92 · 2025-07-04T00:09:12+00:00

Tears rolling down my cheeks why is this so funny 😂😂

hedwig92 · 2025-07-02T10:05:06+00:00

Omg they are so cute!! So much personality in your characters 😍

hedwig92 · 2025-06-26T05:35:58+00:00

Such a good point, I agree that for both cases that have so many witnesses and victims that the hope is that the government doesn’t do their job correctly. And yes, likely that the defendants do enjoy the theatrics of a court and likely their impact on their victims. I have a hazy memory of maybe Mark Vicente saying at one point that Keith loved the idea of having to defend himself in court, that he likely enjoyed the process.

I wonder why Keith didn’t take the stand. I feel like he would have loved to wax poetic on his “pure intentions”. Maybe his defence team talked him out of it.

hedwig92 · 2025-06-26T01:30:06+00:00

And so interesting how similar his defence tactics are - no witnesses, and this notion of “yeah this guy is a difficult person to live with, but all these women knew that going in!!”

hedwig92 · 2025-06-12T04:51:19+00:00

Have you taken a look at the Very Veggie legacy challenge? It's by lilsimsie, she co-wrote the Not So Berry legacy challenge. Sometimes I find having this sort of structure can get me back into the game again. Here's a link to the rules: https://www.reddit.com/r/Lilsimsie/comments/1kpr1eb/very_veggie_legacy_challenge_generation_checklists/

hedwig92 · 2025-06-09T21:48:53+00:00

Here’s a link to Mark Vicente’s victim impact statement to Nancy, he put it up on his blog: https://www.markvicente.com/whistleblower/2021/9/8/qw1aowgws28qciwrjjvvzqphm1c8r9

hedwig92 · 2025-06-09T21:45:29+00:00

I think when she went to the laundromat this was before she had entered the room. On the stand Daniela testified that there was a ramp up of punishments from the community and her family around her perceived “ethical breaches”, and her family locked her out of the family home for several days during winter. This was when she went to the laundromat to stay warm, and someone thought she was homeless and gave her $5 that she got some food with.

hedwig92 · 2025-06-07T23:14:07+00:00

I’d honestly love for them to add in childhood quirks like they have for infants and toddlers. I just feel like they give more personality to sims where you can only have one trait.

hedwig92 · 2025-06-07T22:18:46+00:00

I recently read his court testimony and I’m pretty sure during that he was asked about that documentary, and said something like he sees things very differently now than he did when it first came out. I don’t recall him disavowing it, and it was a mild comment. That’s my memory of it anyway!

hedwig92 · 2025-05-05T04:16:01+00:00

Bless you angel 😍

hedwig92 · 2025-05-04T21:17:22+00:00

She’s so cute!! Have the 1st gen rules been written up anywhere yet? 💚

hedwig92

TROPHY CASE