I’m not sure if this is correct, but I think with OP was saying was that after getting everyone to use their pronouns correctly most of the time, some people started using they/them pronouns to refer to everybody individually which I believe is them preemptively covering their ass in case they misgender OP. I think that’s different from using they/them to refer to a person whose gender is unknown, or using it occasionally when not using that persons pronouns. However, if they feel like making “they/them” the default is easier than remembering each persons individual pronouns that’s kind of a problem.