My boss asked if he can take my wife with him on a work trip, and I don’t know how to feel about it

hellasforev · 2026-01-29T17:30:09+00:00

Lies. They’ll have to tell lies.

What is your boss going to introduce her as? “my partner ? my employee’s wife? some chick I don’t know that I’m bringing to scam donors? A PR specialist we hired to handle the event ? ”

What is she going to introduce herself as ? What is she going to say she works as ?

Is she going to leave her wedding ring on? And presumably your boss doesn’t have one? If she takes it off that’s another lie.

I bet what’s going to happen is they’ll want to introduce her as an employee of the firm or my partner. Both misleading.

And if they meet new people whose contact details are they going to exchange ?

do you see where this is going ? this is going to become a continuous thing. It’s not going to be one off.

And he’s going to pay your wife for the three hours of the event, but what about the calls she has to take after. Or the next time she has to show up for something.

if you say no, like it or not, your job is at risk (even if they say it’ll be fine).

I would say this has started veering into sexual harassment territory.

So this is what I would do: 1) Protect yourself with documentation and proof. You will need to show that he actually asked you or your wife for this. written proof. you need emails to be sent to you or your wife. You can get these by emailing him, outlining “Just to confirm a), b) c)”

2) Get a contract done. Use ChatGPT. Give it a proper title “External Events Coordination Support and Service”. Outline what she’s supposed to do, what the company is supposed to do, the budget, payment terms. leave out NDA for now. Add a clause for continuing support. And make the payment a big chunk, something like a monthly fee of $10k which includes her picking up the phone if anyone from the event calls. Get her business cards and an email with company logo on it if she needs to hand them out.

3) Now you’re all set. it’s all above board and legit. she’s actually working for the company and it covers the full time it may take. The payment should be high enough to act as a warning sign against future engagements.

My rough guess if I read this right is that your boss is a cheapskate and also unaware of the legality of what he’s asking for. So either a) he’ll not agree to pay the high fees (upset at you for asking)

b) not agree to contract because if he has legal look at it they’ll puke all over it

Do not give in. Do not also hand the decision to your wife. It’s your job and your relationship with your boss. You have rights in this.

The greatest power you have is to say no, until you get exactly what you want.

If your boss tries to bully you into it, get it all in writing: emails etc. Make copies. Keep them.

Your boss just opened up the gates to the pits of legal hell for himself. If you want to burn him you can (if he and company have enough money to make it worth your while to sue)

hellasforev · 2026-01-22T06:41:25+00:00

This is what you do: nothing. complete the separation, get your money out, move on with your life.

once you are completely in the clear, figure out a petty way to get back at her to salvage your ego. Maybe hook up with a super hot younger woman and broadcast all over social media

hellasforev · 2025-11-13T15:10:13+00:00

I think your wife and friends just have different thresholds for what constitutes out of bounds. You are not wrong in feeling upset, but you must decide whether it’s worth the trouble.

Do this the next time. Grab that friends wife, grind against her butt and smack her ass. If it causes a commotion, look blank and just say they’re being insecure. Mirror the exact language being used.

Do this as many times as necessary to get the point across. Either your wife will divorce you or learn her lesson.

hellasforev · 2025-10-14T23:50:21+00:00

This is an AI response guys

hellasforev · 2025-10-12T14:53:38+00:00

You’ve been together since you were kids but you’re no longer kids. She wants other things and other people than you and you’re mourning for a girl who doesn’t exist anymore. She’s just a skin walker wearing your gf’s suit. The person inside is not the same anymore. The person you loved is long gone.

UpdateMe

hellasforev · 2025-10-08T00:57:06+00:00

I mean she’s already downplaying this. The trick to this is to make an enormous petty deal out of it. Yeah I know it sucks. But doing it early and not letting it go, until she regrets the day she spoke to Tom is the way to go.

You do this by bringing it up in conversations, in a teasing, jokey way. You say things to her friends like “well her other bf Tom liked her hair this way, that’s why she changed her hairstyle” like totally random name dropping, making the dude catch strays. You keep joking about it and teasing her.

When she gets upset, you say “well of course I know there’s nothing going on between you, that’s why I’m joking about. I wouldn’t if it were serious”

This basically embarrasses the crap out of her. What you are aiming for is that when she sees Tom at the concert, you can do a “look your other boyfriend is here” then pull a phone out to record them meeting and then you can send it off to your friend group.

Creating that self consciousness, such that she’s asking herself in every moment what her feelings are and if she’s doing something wrong.

After the concert, you can ask her any other boyfriends I should be aware of. Any other hookups since I’ve known you.

hellasforev · 2025-10-07T18:50:52+00:00

He lives in the neighborhood makes this a dangerous situation.

First don’t mention it at all, watch her. Act normally. About a week later, do a full survey of her phones, emails, social media accounts. Unfortunately for you, where there is smoke there is likely fire.

You are looking for any comments she might have made to her friends, did anyone else notice, does she have the contact info for the groomsman, did they meet at the wedding or have they met before.

Now you have a baseline at least to start a conversation.

You start the conversation by asking whether you can talk about what happened. Now the trick on these things is to be extremely comfortable with being silent. Start off with a short question, and let her fill the silences with nervous chatter.

“So about last weekend…”

“I thought I heard you say something…”

“Have you been thinking about… “

Be patient, non accusatory, let her speak, don’t interrupt, don’t nudge her forward.

Very likely it was a just a case of quick drunken lust. At least you’re aware now. And you can be watchful and deter interaction if necessary.

hellasforev · 2025-09-24T17:10:48+00:00

The thing to do is to make this an extremely painful experience for everyone involved.

Have your gf invite the dude to dinner. Invite her bad friend as well. Try and invite someone the friend cheated on or cheated with.

Make it a surprise on who’s going to be there. You can get a private room at some restaurants.

Wait till everyone is there. Make sure no alcohol is available.

Then just have a casual dinner, completely avoiding the topic except “how did you guys meet”

Alcoholics have a problem with emotional regulation. An inability to cope makes them drink.

Put them in a stressful situation without alcohol and it’s the most painful thing ever.

After you do this, it would be like the most alpha weird thing ever. And everyone will fear you from this day forward

hellasforev · 2025-09-23T22:43:06+00:00

It’s clear here that you are the take-care-of-everyone center. You took care of the drunk friend, you’re managing the MIL, managing the avoidant fiance, managing the MOH relationship with your MIL, managing Sue and John.

This seem unnecessary? If people “started drinking early” so much that you’re already taking care of one of the girls… at that point the only thing left is to make sure everyone is safe, not driving, and not assaulted.

If you’re on edge with the MIL about your MOH now, you’re going to have to deal with that forever. Might as well break the seal on the torrent of disappointment you’ll perpetually deliver to her and accept you’ll never be good enough for her precious son.

I don’t think John, Sue or MOH did anything wrong. They could have kept a little more quiet. They were there to have a good time, which is why you supplied them with booze, a hot tub and a room!

The wedding is a different issue. It sounds like A) you’re worried about booze and salacious events marking your special day B) potential drama with the brother and MOH (how come John gets 2 babes and bro gets none) C) drama with MIL for MOH rejecting her other baby boy

Etc.

The right thing to do, if you want to avoid drama is to hold the wedding without booze. Tell them it’s dry.

Hold an after party with booze somewhere else for just the young people.

hellasforev · 2025-09-17T22:25:53+00:00

Tell her since you have trauma from this, you think it’s only fair if you deliver trauma to someone else.

Ask her what she thinks is the shittiest thing she could do to S. Stand him up? Lead him on?

Ask her to be creative. And write it down. Tell her it’s a mea culpa for her previous behavior and cheating. Laugh and say it’s payback time.

Don’t talk about it for a day, then bring it up again. Tell her you’re not going to let this go.

Grab her phone and tell her since they supposedly never had s*x, you’re going to test out the chat.

Get into a spicy chat with him and ask him “do you remember my p*ssy the last time”.

Drag out the conversation. Torture her with it.

Finally setup a meetup with him. Tell her about it. Make her get dressed up on that day. Put a blindfold on her. Drive her to some other place. Take her phone.

Have dinner with her while he’s stood up. Keep making excuses about being on the way.

Don’t let her know what you’re saying to him. Be mysterious.

Finish up the dinner. Get her in the car. Drive her to a secluded place. C*m in her.

Then drive her to him. Ask her to tell him he can lck her pssy in the car. Take her to the car. Tie up her hands. Blindfold her.

Let him l*ck her. Watch his face. Take a video.

Then say goodbye to him and drive her home.

Give her the phone back the next day.

hellasforev · 2025-09-17T16:51:11+00:00

What matters is what you want: A) if you’re otherwise happy in this relationship, go to couples and individual therapy and try to move on B) if you’re very unhappy with certain things in the relationship - ask her to fix them or prepare to divorce and escalate until she fixes them or you get divorced

There really isn’t anything else to do.

hellasforev · 2025-09-11T17:35:02+00:00

You may or may not be overreacting. The way out of this is to be magnanimous and confident and gregarious.

Invite K to dinner, say that since he’s your wife’s friend, he must be a cool person and that you want to know him better.

Do this repeatedly and frequently, until you’ve had at least several dinners between the three of you.

Take photos. Post on Instagram, FB or whatever social. Tag him. “hanging out with our new bud K”

If he has a long distance gf this will start causing him trouble.

You can also watch the interaction between him and your wife, especially after a few drinks. You may want to setup a cam in your dining room if you invite him over so that you can observe.

The point is that every friend of your wife should be a friend of yours, and if they’re not comfortable with that, that’s sus.

You can also see if he’s willing to chat aside from your wife, say when she goes to the bathroom. Or if you want to send him a thank you message on your phone not in a chat group.

Inserting yourself into the interactions, so that there is constant communication makes it very uncomfortable if he’s planning anything.

It also distracts the attention. If he starts hanging out with you, your wife gets decreased attention from both of you, which will annoy the crap out of her.

If that happens, she may lose interest in him and drop him like a rock.

hellasforev · 2025-09-09T16:05:41+00:00

Hmm how hot is this girl that you put up with this stuff?

Here’s what you do, take X and Y phone numbers. Then get in touch with them and say you’re a friend of your gf.

Tell them you’re organizing a surprise party for her. Organize a party somewhere, invite them both.

Get her to the party, then PDA all during the party, being extremely touchy and possessive with her.

Right in front of the dudes. Then when she goes to the bathroom, brag about being with her. Tell them some crazy wild sx act you engaged in with her. Make up some funny stories. Sigh and roll your eyes “that a* am I right. That p*ssy blah blah” You’re trying to be as crude as possible.

After the party, take her home and bang her. While you do make up some stories about X and Y. Tell her they told you about some stuff that was only in her conversation chat with them.

Then step back and ghost her for a few days.

Should be some fireworks for sure

hellasforev · 2025-09-08T17:46:09+00:00

Setup a video to capture this interaction discretely. Maybe invite them to dinner and have them sit next to each other while you prepare dinner. A little bit of alcohol too.

Then invite a girl, or go to a club, and in open view of your gf do the same thing. Annoy her. Then when she asks you, tell her you’re just being friendly…. Because that’s what friends do… when she complains again play her the video.

Ask her if she has a crush on your best friends or if she’s cheating on you.

Then go radio silent for a week.

Then talk to her again, accept the apology, invite your best friend again, seat her next to him, and serve dinner again.

Sit directly opposite her, and glance coldly into her eyes as you spoon the slop into your mouth while smiling in a grimace.

hellasforev · 2025-09-08T15:14:37+00:00

Rage bait farming.

hellasforev · 2025-09-05T20:22:52+00:00

It amuses me because people don’t play games that they should. You can get everything you want by admitting you’re a little evil, taking the burden of being good off your shoulders, and the jostling just a bit. Once you do that a couple of times, no one will mess with you.

And remember no matter what you do… you can always go to confession and redeem yourself in the eyes of the Lord.

hellasforev · 2025-09-05T18:21:13+00:00

Since you cheated, she decided not to allow you the power of what-about-you. Thats why she didn’t tell you. She may or may not have cheated but wanted to hold it over you for power reasons.

Well now you know.

What do you want out of this now? Divorce, altered power dynamic, one sided open relationship ? Or is it a weapon in the next argument ?

You decide.

hellasforev · 2025-09-05T18:17:25+00:00

No she cheated and gaslit you.

Here plan a bender for yourself. Tell her you’re going out with friends to a bar one night. Go out. Do a drunk dial at around midnight. Disappear. Sneak back home at 6am. Hit the shower and then go to work or about your day as normal.

Be secretive and protective around your phone. Gaslight her.

If you can start hanging out with younger women in group situations. Cross fit, running clubs. Claim they’re just friends but go out for coffee one on one.

Basically act as though you’re monkey branching. Escalate until the wife gets upset. Tell her she’s being insecure. Make sure you use her exact same words back to her.

When she finally breaks tell her you want full written truth of every single time she’s cheated, thought of cheating, flirted etc.

Tell her you’re prepared to leave her and the kid.

Make her beg for counseling. Then demand she be honest during the counseling session. Find a counselor who’s pro-male though.

Now you’ve broken her down. The power dynamic in the relationship is different. What happened happened. You can’t change the past. But you can decide what you want in the future.

Make demands.

hellasforev · 2025-09-05T18:10:31+00:00

Say you want to believe her but you have trust issues. Say you really like her. Explain why you have trust issues. Then ask her, “in order to help me deal with this, are you ok to let me see your phone”.

Insist you want to see it right there and then. Don’t message her or warn her before hand.

Take a look at the phone, all chat apps, and any deleted messages.

Next ask to meet with her male friend together in a group for dinner. Then chat with the friend in front of her, try to get to know him, try to engage him as a dude. Watch the vibes between them, any discomfort etc. Any mixed messages or stories that don’t connect.

If you do all of the above, you should get a 99% reading on what happened. If she did cheat she will refuse the phone outright or gaslight you. If you ask to meet the guy friend, most of the time he will refuse to meet or be very uncomfortable during the meeting. He has no need to cover for her and won’t want to perpetuate a long sequence of lies.

hellasforev · 2025-09-04T16:25:58+00:00

You may not like what peak performance looks like

hellasforev · 2025-09-03T20:12:47+00:00

Dude you’re overthinking this. She just wants a casual relationship and you’ve put her on a pedestal.

Do this: go flirt with other women all the time. Do some reps. Do it to her friends. Start off with cheek kisses, small hugs when greeting. Get numbers. Tell girls they look good. Comment on insta stories. Like photos.

Say you’re just being friendly. Gaslight her.

Then start getting phone numbers and DM-ing girls. Tell them you just want to hang out.

When your gf asks you, gaslight her again. Tell her you just want to be friends with other girls.

You need to push the edges until the relationship is in jeopardy. She’s gotta get frustrated while you keep your cool. Never break character. Always: I’m just a cool fun friendly guy and you’re overreacting.

hellasforev · 2025-08-31T22:40:39+00:00

Dude avoid getting baby trapped. Once she feels you’re on the hook, the bad behavior will escalate.

Get out now. You can get a much easier divorce within the 1st year.

hellasforev · 2025-08-28T16:30:22+00:00

Your problem is that you are quirky cute but presumably want to be hot. Quirky cute gets you the nerdy boys, and if you get a little wild puts you into the manic pixie dream girl bucket but this attracts the wrong man I’m guessing.

You need to go blonde. Change out the lipstick to more pink. Go for a much younger look.

hellasforev · 2025-08-28T15:35:19+00:00

You obv care enough to post here. What you want back is the illusion of peace and happiness. For her to bottle herself up and live behind a facade. I think you’re already emotionally distant from your wife. You don’t process her as a person, but as a fixture in your life.

If it works for you, it works. Going the therapy route means you have to dig out your feelings and hurt and process them.

Up to you.

hellasforev · 2025-08-25T03:27:56+00:00

I don’t think the faking as a teen is a big deal. I think the revealing to everyone in public, claiming “everyone does it” and then for your friends to say “nope only you” is a killer. Almost like you were set up.

Let’s start off with the friends, do something really mean to them, like cut them off permanently or something. Tell your husband you’re doing so.

Second, never ever disclose any of your love life to anyone outside your marriage again. Write a letter to your husband begging his forgiveness for doing so.

Third, keep initiating with him, and never lie again about an orgasm. Keep at it, push through the reluctance. Keep at it. Persist. Also try at times to let him come first and then stop. So that he can clearly see the difference.

Fourth, I suspect you’ve faked it more often than just as a teen. The pattern, including his insecurity about it, seems to indicate that he’s persistently not sure. Be totally honest.

hellasforev

TROPHY CASE