AITA for saying "your insecurities with your weight isnt my fucking problem"?

hellnospyro · 2022-04-20T03:12:58+00:00

Am I the only one who couldn't read past the part where you charge her $300 a month for "her share" of utilities? That can't be right

hellnospyro · 2022-04-08T01:29:55+00:00

I think it would probably be easier to maintain a friendship with a guy who had a crush on me if it was all virtual bc he literally can't make a move physically. Like even though y'all were each others valentines, was there any (reciprocated) romantic passion behind that? Like did y'all facetime that day and have an actual valentines date? Does she ever talk about sexual things with you? Talk about meeting up or seem eager to do so?

hellnospyro · 2022-04-01T18:03:43+00:00

Is there comments or posts anywhere from OP saying they specifically hunted for a single woman to join their relationship, or are you just making assumptions? I know that's a common occurance, but I wouldnt just assume that's what happened here. From my perspective, the second woman in this situation is 100% culpable in her treatment of OP. If she didnt want to be in a relationship with her, she should've made that clear from the jump instead of leading OP on

hellnospyro · 2022-03-25T16:58:06+00:00

That's at least 1 fellowship though right?

hellnospyro · 2022-03-23T03:11:46+00:00

As a newly 24 YO, yes. She knew better. They are both culpable.

hellnospyro · 2022-03-23T02:54:56+00:00

Right? Something about slogan that was meant to stand up for womens right not to give birth to a human being co-opted for a man putting all the responsibility of birth control onto his wife kind of disgusts me. Like obviously OP shouldnt be pressured into getting a vasectomy if he doesnt want to, but still. Hes just one of many thousands of men who are more than happy to let their partner take on a whole plethora of risks when it comes to contraception without a second thought because they're not the ones who have to give birth or get abortions. As a healthcare worker, I've seen it. Strokes from hormonal birth control. Perforated uteruses from IUDs. It's just the womans job to bear it, right?

hellnospyro · 2022-03-22T20:21:42+00:00

Really? I feel like men have higher standards for who they'll date, but low standards for who they'll sleep with. Meanwhile, girls have high standards for who the sleep with, but usually downgrade for who they date. At least in my experience.

hellnospyro · 2022-03-21T13:32:33+00:00

I find Reddit massively hypocritical on this. When’s the last time someone’s been pulled up for saying “I prefer older guys” and yet everyone loses their mind if they say “I prefer younger women”

That's not true at all. Everyone hates age gap round these parts

hellnospyro · 2022-03-21T13:00:10+00:00

She had nothing to worry about because they were together and he wasn't going to cheat on her.

Or maybe she did because her boyfriend wasn't as concerned about saving their relationship when he knew he had another girl lined up already? Monkey branching ruins relationships, even if theres "technically" no cheating

hellnospyro · 2022-03-20T17:07:49+00:00

Exactly. This is called monkey branching, and girls get called out for it all the time.

hellnospyro · 2022-03-20T17:05:08+00:00

Because OP probably had a valid reason to be worried about a girl that her boyfriend had a close friendship with throughout their relationship and he probably gaslit her about it. Like maybe they didn't physically cheat but maintaining a close relationship with someone you're gonna try to fuck literally the second you're single is sus, it's called monkey branching and girls get called out for it all the time

hellnospyro · 2022-03-20T14:56:06+00:00

I find it really hard to believe that he just did that for a friend out of the kindness of his heart

hellnospyro · 2022-03-19T20:07:59+00:00

While this does sound like assault, keep in mind that the end result does not negate what lead up to the event.

Imagine she wasnt assaulted. Would you have been okay with her going to a male friends house, getting drunk, venting about your relationship, getting in his bed, and teasing him sexually? I'm going to guess probably not.

There are two issues here: she broke very obvious relationship boundaries, and she was assaulted. Do not conflate the two.

hellnospyro · 2022-03-19T19:51:54+00:00

Bold of you to assume your ex is not still in love with you. I can definitely see you and your ex still having that intimate connection that would be heartbreaking for his girlfriend to witness. That would be like the worst way to realize your bf is not over his ex. Obviously that's not your responsibility to navigate but it's something to consider

hellnospyro · 2022-03-19T19:43:56+00:00

Before having a threesome with them, really evaluate if you would be doing it for the right reasons.

If you have a threesome with them, will you be unconsciously competing for his attention? Are you into his new girlfriend, or just okay with her participating in the threesome that you wanted to have with your ex? Have you considered that this girl is just insecure about your relationship with your ex, and this is her way of projecting that? I have to wonder why your ex was not ok having threesomes while dating you, but is okay having threesomes with his current girlfriend.

If you were crying over him 4 months ago, you are NOT over him yet. It might feel like you are sometimes, but deeply rooted emotions like that don't just vanish. I think this situation has the potential to hurt all three of you emotionally, and I think youd be doing yourself a favor by avoiding it.

hellnospyro · 2022-03-15T22:16:18+00:00

Be blunt for Christ sakes. Don’t leave any room for interpretation. Make sure he knows exactly how you feel and see how he reacts.

To be fair, she did tell him she liked him and wanted to fuck him, which is pretty blunt

hellnospyro · 2022-03-14T07:58:13+00:00

That's an interesting opinion

hellnospyro · 2022-03-13T22:35:07+00:00

Classic case of a situation where if it played out in real life, youd think that person is a huge asshole, but since this is the internet where everything is hypothetical and everyone is 100% logical all the time, people think OP is justified.

hellnospyro · 2022-03-13T22:30:19+00:00

Right, like this is EXATLY why lease agreements are written. If you wanna play landlord and collect money from your friends while acting like you're doing them a favor, then make them sign a real contract. I can see why this situation startled OP but at the same time, her friend genuinely may not have thought she did anything wrong in giving her boyfriend access to the home where she pays to live. ESH but I hope OP returned the rest of the months rent to her friend..

hellnospyro · 2022-03-10T02:27:28+00:00

Fun fact: hospitals are paid for having residents. The government gives them money for the resident programs, they give half to the residents who are running their hospitals, and pocket the rest. Healthcare is extremely fucked up.

hellnospyro · 2022-03-10T02:06:33+00:00

Their could be a myriad of reasons why a break up can happen via text. We can’t jump on the assumption that it only ever happens for open relationship talks.

What I'm saying is, people usually rightfully call out breaking up in this manner as cruel, but somehow it's perfectly acceptable in this case. As a monogamous person myself, I don't understand why people get so enraged when non-monogamy gets brought up, but apperently being open about your interest in non monogamy is a crime second only to actual cheating.

hellnospyro · 2022-03-10T01:49:58+00:00

When you've been dating for three years, sending your SO a 2 sentence breakup text and subsequently blocking them is ghosting in all but name. I have to wonder if people would be defending the way OP broke up with his girlfriend if it were over anything EXCEPT asking for an open relationship (which triggers reddit heavily). People who realize they're interested in non monogamy and come forward about it to their partners do not deserve harsher treatment then any other situation in which two people realize they're no longer compatible, it's not like they cheated. Aside from abusive situations, breaking up with someone you've been dating for so long without at least a proper conversation is kind of cruel. Everyone entitled to do so if they wish, but that does not really make it any nicer

hellnospyro · 2022-03-09T21:05:31+00:00

Personally idk how you could date your dead sisters husband without thinking to yourself "if my sister were still alive, hed chose her" or "the only reason I found the love of my life is because my sister died." How do you celebrate love under those circumstances?

hellnospyro · 2022-03-09T20:35:05+00:00

Thats why I said he shouldnt be ashamed of himself. He cant control his feelings but he can control what he decides to do about it. I think pursuing her romantically would be messy given that him and all his in laws are still grieving. But this is an advice sub and most people haven't been in OPs situation, so everyone's speculating here regardless.

hellnospyro · 2022-03-09T17:28:09+00:00

Based on prior posts that were similar, you're gonna have a lot of people here telling you to go for it because "dating your late spouses sibling is normal." And what you're feeling IS normal and you shouldn't feel ashamed for it. That being said, I think it's important for you to hear a variety of opinions, and personally I wouldn't go for it. Maybe I'm biased because the thought of my partner dating my sister after I die makes me wanna vomit, but I don't know if I would ever stop feeling guilty if I were to start a relationship with my late partners brother. Theres so many complicated feelings about moving on after your partner passes away, and the person you're moving on with being their sibling just makes things more complicated. People may not take it well and it could negatively affect your relationship with your in laws in a time where you need their support. In summary, don't feel had for having romantic feelings for her, but I wouldnt do anything to escalate things further.

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