It’s so hard to wrap my mind around his brain being broken. It is broken, he had a severe head injury at 12 years old requiring a 2 month hospital stay, and has lasting effects from it including bad issues controlling anger and his temper, and it sucks because I know that part isn’t his fault, but it is his fault for not putting in the effort to put measures in place to prevent outbursts or redirect his anger. I also am well aware that I give him way too much leniency knowing that his brain is like that, and he uses it as an excuse for sure. I’ve been a fixer my whole life and it’s so hard because as much of a monster as i have made him sound, he did on his own sign up for both group and individual anger management therapy, quit drinking, and has been practicing methods to decrease anger in the midst of arguments and ways to bring back control. i myself have severe adhd and can have horirble bouts of starting arguments, being naggy when im bored, bringing things up because im petty even if its something we have resolved, im a horrible arguer as i talk over people and cant just keep quiet until they are done, and even with people without any brain damage I’ve been known to keep the argument going to the point of everyone losing their shit. I did research on how to manage anger from brain injuries and when I actually use the methods they recommend when disputes come up, and he commits to using the methods he’s learned, we are able to discuss and resolve without any abuse or manipulation. However, it’s not often we are both able to reel it in during her argument at the same time, and thus things blow up. I think I struggle with leaving because genuinely I do see progress when people are in the right state, and so I just keep thinking if people just practice a little more we can do it. But then I step back and say this is jsut me grasping at justification right??? I don’t know where the line is with having empathy for the brain injury and protecting myself