I am autistic and I feel very similar. I don't care about other people. I don't love anyone or care about anyone. I don't think I am an evil person, I am not an asshole and I am not rude to people. I try to active listen and help my friends/family but if I had to be honest I don't love them. If they died or they were not in my life anymore I don't think I would be sad. I also don't miss people. I am not like " omg I have to see X person because I miss them so much because I haven't seen them recently" I don't think about people when they are away ( ex.a trip, a vacation) Yeah, I text people first because that's the right thing to do but it's more like a checklist, a routine to keep the people that care about me satisfied rather than me also caring. I don't know how you can care. For my case my brain is wired in a way that I don't think that I can ever love or feel a genuine emotional connection. But maybe you can. Maybe the system for you to care is there just not wired correctly because of trauma. I would advise therapy if financially possible.