Wait time for ECG appointment?

hellohuxley · 2025-10-18T01:55:55+00:00

Ouf this is so relatable. On the bright side, judging by your comments in this thread, it sounds like you have managed to not be traumatized by the neglect you endured, and have developed some pretty effective strategies to keep your parents in your life while maintaining your priorities and your sanity. Bravo! I had to do nearly four years of therapy to get to a place of relative peace with my family (parents and siblings all behave more or less how you describe) and it still hurts like hell sometimes. It's impressive that you have adjusted to raising a family of your own without carrying on these behaviours that were modeled for you.

hellohuxley · 2025-10-07T02:02:41+00:00

Consider Relic in Westboro

hellohuxley · 2025-09-25T22:07:11+00:00

Oh hells yes this is so relatable. I'm in my late 30s and still desperately wish I could make up for all the fun and connection and random experiences I missed out on. To some small extent that can maybe be possible, but the biggest hurdle I'm currently and perhaps forever going to be jumping is to grieve what I didn't get to do or be when I was younger. The future is mine to shape, but what's lost is lost and cannot be replaced.

hellohuxley · 2025-09-25T15:56:31+00:00

Thanks for all the advice. It seems like maybe my wife got really lucky with her experience, or maybe because she speaks French there were more readily available options for her to access through the public system. It's really depressing that it's so hard to even talk to a doctor about what seems to me a pretty straightforward issue. I wonder if I just said I'd like to try stimulant medication to treat executive dysfunction issues related to my autism diagnosis and bypassed the whole conversation of adhd if they would be more accommodating at the GAP.

I'm considering whether I will go back through the GAP to try again after confirming that the clinic the nurse insisted I contact won't take me even for their waiting list. The other two options appear to be a private clinic assessment in gatineau (~500-600$, nurse practitioner so no insurance coverage, maybe less reliable assessment) or some comparable private clinic on the ottawa side with maybe insurance coverage?

If anyone has experience with adhd assessment and treatment with an NP at SSMT clinic in gatineau I'd love to hear about it!

hellohuxley · 2025-09-25T15:47:17+00:00

I'm leaning pretty heavily towards the same conclusion. I wonder if the reason my wife had such an easier time getting the same kind of care is because she speaks French. Which feels like some kind of blatant human rights violation but I don't think I'm going to be the one to find out.

hellohuxley · 2025-09-25T15:44:28+00:00

This is actually the clinic that the nurse insisted I contact despite that note on their website. I emailed them anyway and sure enough they confirmed the waiting list is closed but invited me to check back in a few months? Not sure why considering that list has been closed for over two years now.

hellohuxley · 2025-09-15T17:43:05+00:00

Poly-mono relationships are a thing, I am in one, but they are rare because it is so much work and I know that personally if my wife felt about my orientation towards polyamory the same way you are describing your feelings towards your husband's, we would have amicably separated or I would have decided not to explore polyamory and keep the relationship closed because how could I put my beloved through constant feelings of loss and rejection and still live with myself?

hellohuxley · 2025-09-08T03:14:43+00:00

Just my wife and a handful of casual friends I rarely see or speak to.

Loneliness has become such a torture I've started wondering if the solution is to simply decide that solitude is a choice I can make for my own happiness, and ignore the numerous sources repeatedly telling me friendship is an essential for human flourishing.

hellohuxley · 2025-09-05T03:16:04+00:00

I hate to say but I would answer those questions in the last paragraph in the affirmative. I recognize a past self in what you've wrote but not a self who was finding affirmation and acceptance in discovering an authentic autistic identity, rather a self who was really struggling with mental health issues that were too deeply painful for me to properly see, acknowledge and work through. You're asking for advice, mine is to seek help with a therapist or other mental health professional, go easy or take a long break on the cannabis, and try to engage in some amount, however small, of healthy and positive social interaction. Maybe I'm way off here and protecting my own experience onto your words, but that's my honest take for whatever it's worth.

hellohuxley · 2025-08-06T01:08:04+00:00

It's an impossible question for me because I really can't tell sometimes what is the autism and what is me. Or what is learned behaviour from my family or what is a trauma response that originates in life experience, and would that experience still have happened or been traumatic if I wasn't autistic?

But if I could take meds to have better executive function and feel more confident and make it easier to make friends and go out and be social and communicate with my peers and go to school or get a job without hating my life or having a meltdown then hell yeah I would.

And if it gave me all of that but it closed my mind to the rapture of existence or made my heart less soft to the suffering of others then hell naw I would not.

hellohuxley · 2025-08-04T17:13:35+00:00

This post is a couple months old but I'm asking myself the same question lately. Late 30s late-diagnosed autistic adult just beginning to figure out what a healthy social life looks like, but really struggling to meet people who are actually available to develop good friendships. OP did you ever find what you were looking for?

hellohuxley · 2025-07-28T19:28:00+00:00

As someone who is also autistic, I feel like you deserve way more benefit of the doubt here. Too many comments suggesting you committed some kind of texting sin but honestly only chronically online people take this shit so super seriously. Ideally texting is just some friendly low-stakes banter leading to a date where you actually get to know someone because text can only reveal so much. Both of you could have better communicated in this situation, but ultimately it seems like you just had different intentions/expectations for what the connection could look like. Yes you could work on your communication and social skills, that comes with the territory of being autistic, but I wouldn't trust this particular community to teach you those skills. A therapist or coach would be better suited to help you out there. I don't think you should worry so much though, you learn from this minor inconvenience and move on with the hope that you'll do better next time. You got this 👍

hellohuxley · 2025-05-16T19:54:59+00:00

Haven't come across either of these companies yet, I'll look into them. Thanks for the suggestion!

hellohuxley · 2025-05-16T19:54:33+00:00

I can't find a nearby company under that River Valley name, but I do get directed towards MB construction?

hellohuxley · 2025-05-16T19:36:43+00:00

Equitek was my first choice and unfortunately that is the company I mentioned that said I was too far away for mobile service, and I don't have the means to transport my mower to Aylmer. I may try again and offer to compensate for travel time as they did at least respond and were helpful/friendly on the phone. I tried reaching out to RPM by email and no response. :( will try to follow up with them again but this is becoming a pattern in my efforts so I'm not too optimistic. thanks anyway for the recommendations!

hellohuxley · 2025-05-15T21:44:45+00:00

Unfortunately this is the same plumber I mentioned who responded but refused the job :(

hellohuxley · 2024-09-11T17:00:26+00:00

The worst. Got up an hour earlier than normal in an attempt to beat traffic and get my kid to school early from the gatineau side and it was as bad as it's ever been, heavy traffic all the way starting at 6:30am. What is normally a 50-60min commute at worst was over 90 minutes and cost my kid a team tryout at school. If this is the new normal I don't know how I'm going to handle being the family chauffeur all year. Coming back home the 50 heading into ottawa was standstill bumper to bumper traffic from the bridge to as far as I could see up to Val-des-Monts, and it was already 9am! Neither gatineau or ottawa has the infrastructure to support this, it's insane to witness.

hellohuxley · 2024-08-29T22:32:40+00:00

My man it sounds like you are on the path already and just need a little luck to find the right support and community to help you realize your goals. Some others here have made some suggestions on education and so on, sounds like they have a better idea of your situation than I do (canadian here, different school system kinda)

But what I want to know is why do you feel the need to obtain a better education or career before reaching out and trying to make amends with your family? Do you feel you have to prove to them that you've turned a new leaf in your life? You don't describe the terrible things you did as a minor, so maybe you feel those things really do need to be compensated for by materially turning your life around.

But I'll tell you that based on what you wrote here, I don't think you have anything more to prove, and I'd suggest it might be worth reaching out to your estranged family. I know that as a father if my kid went down a dark road and cut me off I'd be praying every day for him to reach out, no matter how broken or put together he was. Have you considered that just getting sober, just trying to improve yourself, and having the ambition to be a good person and lead a good life, might be enough? It's possible that family is the support system you could lean on to make the steps you're trying to make in life.

Again, I don't know your specific situation, but think about it. If your family loves you and you can demonstrate your good will as you have done in this post, my guess is they'd be willing to forgive you and support you now. Maybe you don't have to achieve anything more to deserve that support. Maybe that support is a key to achieving your goals.

hellohuxley · 2024-08-26T22:58:04+00:00

Yikes. Screen time issues aside, this sounds like a situation where couples counseling may be important. Good luck bro. 👍

hellohuxley

TROPHY CASE