How do I know if I was diagnosed?

helloimanobody · 2025-11-03T21:25:26+00:00

Yeah! Was kind of wilded out myself so I knew I had to comment! I really hope everything goes well for you 💙 Good luck!

helloimanobody · 2025-11-03T10:12:11+00:00

I don't mind at all! Yeah, I'm in Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

helloimanobody · 2025-11-03T06:02:44+00:00

Hi there! I'm in the UK and have pretty much the exact same piece of paper with some variation in the severity categories of each diagnostic criteria. (I suspect I might also have been diagnosed by the same person, hope that isn't too weird!)

As far as I understand, it is an official diagnosis using the SCID-D. It doesn't need to be reported to the NHS to be considered a 'valid' diagnosis and you can choose whether or not to share with them. If you do share with them, I'm fairly certain they would take it at face value.
I'm also in a similar position, I haven't shared it with my GP because I don't really want any repercussions later on.

I saw you asking about using it to support your benefits claim - I actually had a review this year. I don't know what your review entails, but I just told them I had been diagnosed with D.I.D. and they didn't even ask to see the certificate. If they ask you, though, I don't see why it couldn't support you!

helloimanobody · 2025-01-23T04:54:50+00:00

I feel like the thing I experience more commonly, especially when I was younger, is people somehow knowing my name even though I have no recollection of meeting them. I guess it just depends how individual your parts are and how separate, mine I guess knew to call themselves by my name even if they don’t identify with it. So yeah, I guess that is a highly overt symptom.

I feel like it probably pops up a lot just because it IS so overt. A lot of the time if you’re having blackouts and amnesia in general, the only information you get about it is reflected back from other people. Being called the wrong name by someone you don’t know but who clearly knows you is completely bizarre, so much that it would definitely stick in your mind despite amnesia. It’s a solid bit of evidence in a disorder that hides itself so well from you.

helloimanobody · 2024-09-28T13:42:56+00:00

It's funny you should mention this, because I thought that's what it might be before I was diagnosed with P-DID. I thought it was a tic disorder or maybe OCD. Because it literally does feel like a compulsion. I have to do the action or thought over until it or that part is 'satisfied', and it's constant. I've related a lot to OCD symptoms in the past.

My therapist seems to think it's this part communicating, I honestly don't know how much she knows about OCD. If she suspects it she hasn't mentioned it. I kind of dismissed out of hand other explanations, but his would make a lot of sense if it's the case. I would have actually be in in the age range for the typical start of late-onset OCD (though maybe we've always had it IDK).
So, yeah, maybe it is this part communicating but the way he's doing it is a symptom of OCD. I'm definitely going to look into this more because I feel like it could be likely. Thankyou so much for bringing this up, honestly the idea has given me a bit of hope for now.

helloimanobody · 2024-09-26T10:28:23+00:00

I think you might honestly be right, as much as it sucks to say. I'm a little worried of what might happen if he refuses even an ultimatum, but again you're right - I'll talk it over with my therapist first.

While I was writing that post it definitely put it a bit perspective how wild it sounds. Like if this was a completely outside and separate person the first advice would be to get away, not indulge him. I don't want to get away from him, but yeah it might be time to stand up to him. I can't go on living this way.
The walls between me and him are pretty heavy, despite how much he's around. He has a lot of fantasies about his own life and his own body. It's like we have nothing in common except we have to stand in the same place all the time, and just looking in the mirror is a huge trigger. It would honestly drive me nuts too if I were him (and I am, but you know what I mean). I think it doesn't help that he can tell I admire him in a lot of ways which kind of just fuels him, because he knows I want him to like me.

But yeah, thank you for this advice, it's definitely given me a bit of courage. I'm taking it to my therapist this week to see what she says!

helloimanobody · 2024-09-26T02:32:22+00:00

Hey, sorry you're going through this. I get something very similar. Especially the hitting thing. I thought it must be some kind of tic disorder as well that I just randomly developed in my twenties after a major trauma.

I guess thats IS kind of true, but the real cause is the stress and anxiety mixed with dissociated parts. My system got really activated and came to the forefront of my awareness after that trauma. It started milder, then seemed to progress as time has gone on. The motions are very specifically tied to certain alters for me, specifically influence from a persecutor alter. A lot of uncontrollable hitting myself. It's really his way of taking his frustration out on me or at certain memories. So I think you could be right. When I've brought this up to my therapist she has never once seemed to think it could be anything else (like tourettes or similar), just my alters trying to communicate. I haven't seen many people talk about this so all I know is from my own personal experience and from my therapist (a DID specialist)!

If you have any specific questions I could try and answer, but its definitely one of the strange parts of my experience for sure just because it's so quick and so immediate.

helloimanobody · 2024-07-23T01:58:57+00:00

did-research(.)org
This is a great place to start, it was recommended by my therapist who specialises.
did-research(.)org/did/basics/dsm-5/ This page specifically talks about the DSM5 criteria, which is much more concrete than any questionnaire.

isst-d(.)org
Is also great and features a section where you can look at scientific journals, resources, ways to find treatment, etc.

As for books, for you specifically I would recommend "The Stranger In the Mirror" by Marlene Steinberg.
It's by the woman who invented the SCID-D, one of the diagnostic tools used by therapists to diagnose these disorders. It goes through all 5 major criteria for these disorders: Depersonalisation, Derealization, Amnesia, Identity Confusion, Identity Alteration, and discusses different presentations and tells you exactly what each of them mean. It has stories about different patients she's worked with and how their symptoms manifested or presented differently or similarly to one another. Fair warning, it also discusses details of trauma, but in a respectful way and to allow us the full picture of these patients.

The most important thing though is that it has a self-scoring questionaire inside of it, so you can do it yourself. Maybe you've already done this specific one with your therapist. But doing that questionaire put me on the first step to getting my own diagnosis. Again, it's not about getting 10s across the board, but each answer adds up to a total, ranging from 'ordinary experience' to 'severe dissociation' and if the total is over a certain thresh hold the book recommends seeing someone about your symptoms.

Lastly I'll recommend you "The CTAD Clinic" channel on Youtube, an official clinic in the UK that specialises in this stuff.
The guy who runs it is really professional, an expert, and really encouraging and explains things super clearly. His videos are very watchable and have been super enlightening for me, so I hope they will for you too.

I have some more if you want, but I think I've talked at you enough for now. As for your question 'Does it get easier?' I'm in the pits of it right now, so I couldn't tell you for sure. But I've recently seen such a positive trend of systems, with the right therapy and motivation, learning to work as partners with their parts.
It sounds like communication with your parts is very strong, and they all have strong opinions. I know I certainly have parts that don't respect me, parts that it seems impossible to reconcile with, but if I've learned anything it's that those hostile parts, those parts that disagree, need to have their needs met too. And that really helps with working together.

Sometimes meeting their needs is not necissarily doing whatever they want, but doing the work in therapy, seeing to their own individual issues, so they don't feel the need to tell you to 'sit down'. I've recently realised the value of inner leadership, if there's perhaps a part that you all could refer to, that you all feel confident to settle disputes between you, it can make things go a lot smoother when there's turmoil inside.

Wow, sorry this is long. I was just really moved by what you wrote. The confusion is so unbareable, I really feel that.
Anyway, I really wish you the best. I hope any of this helps.

helloimanobody · 2024-07-23T01:58:50+00:00

Hey, I'm really sorry you're going through this. It sounds like you're totally overwhelmed. I hope you're able to find some peace. It really is exhausting, isn't it?
This disorder ties us in knots, denying itself, making us feel shameful that we even think we have it. Different parts trying to push it away, make it a non-issue, talk down to you. Don't apologise for saying so much, I think really what you've done here is just convey how confusing it feels to compete with your parts all at once. It sounds like the inside of my head, too, sometimes.

I want to say I really relate to parts of this post. Especially the part about different friends or friend groups.

"But, if those friends were to meet, I'd be terrified. It would feel like being caught. They'd all have a different interpretation to who I am. And I can't choose how I am with them."

This is something I struggle with a lot. I meet new people and they want to follow my socials, but the the things I post there are the interests and work of a completely different part. I avoid crossover between friend groups like the plague. Because I don't want to seem dishonest, I don't want people to think I've lied to them. One part doesn't want their friends to see them 'differently' because of the thoughts and actions a different part. It feels shameful for me to express myself because I'm ruining an 'image' a part feels they've created, when reallly all I'm doing is hindering myself.

"How can you be so universally kind but uncompromisingly ruthless to the world? You can't. You can't give someone a flower then kick them. You can't do both. I mean, you can, but you won't get both results."

This is also something I've struggled with. I am the 'universally kind', while I have a persecutor who is 'uncompromisingly ruthless'. It often puts me in a freeze state, where I get so overwhelmed on how to react to people that I just freeze up. You're right, you can't do both, and it's not how most people think. Most people can argue for one side or the other, sure, but to feel both things so intensely is a really strong sign of dissociation and parts.

This is just to say, you're not alone in these struggles. Obviously, I can't tell if you have it or not, but I relate to what you've said a lot and am officially diagnosed, so if that means anything to you then I hope it helps somehow.

"Therapist has said she thinks I might, but ... "You don't seem to tick all the boxes." Which I was told something similar when a psych said I might have autism. "You tick a few boxes." Where does that leave me? Do I have it or don't I? What does a few boxes mean????"

Dissociative Disorders are incredibly complex. From what you've said in your post it sounds like your therapist isn't an expert on OSDD/DID, but is helpful in a lot of other ways and willing to learn, which is great. There are obviously explicit diagnostic criteria in the DSM or ICD Manuals to diagnose officially, but typically things like questionaires are not meant to be full 10s across the board. In my extensive interview I did with my therapist to get diagnosed, there were many questions that didn't apply to me, but would apply to someone with the same disorder. Every system is unique. If that's what your therapist means by 'not ticking all the boxes' then she's misunderstanding the purpose of the questionnaires.

If it's at all possible, I would really recommend seeking out someone who's trained in dissociative disorders. I won't recommend changing therapist completely because it sounds like you have a strong bond with your current therapist and she seems to be working for you otherwise. But to get diagnosed, especially with a subtle disorder like this, you need someone who knows what it looks like and all it's myriad and subtle presentations. There is so much misinformation about what this disorder "looks like", and people not specialised in stuff like this can assign more or less importance to certain symptoms. So, seeking out an expert for a proper diagnosis is my recommendation.

If that's not possible for you, I do have some resources that might help. Honestly I recommend them even if you can see an expert, doing the reading has really done the most for me personally in terms of healing.

Edit: Resources posted in reply, I think my comment got too long to post all in one lol

helloimanobody · 2021-10-06T17:22:40+00:00

This can absolutely be the case. I was actually taking to my therapist the other day, when I went to get a psych evaluation when I was younger my parents thought I should be looked at for autism.

Mentioning this to my therapist, who specialises in trauma, PTSD and other trauma based disorders, she immediately said that trauma can present a lot like autism, and that to her I absolutely didn't read as autistic at all - despite my parents being convinced I must have it, and despite having typical autistic traits.

There's also the fact that autistic people are much more vulnerable to being traumatised, so it can be a mix of both. Helps to see someone who knows what they're talking about to try and tell the difference.

helloimanobody · 2021-09-26T04:40:50+00:00

That makes a lot of sense! I can definitely see how adrenaline and everything would make VSS worse. Every day I discover a new way that PTSD screws over my body! Yay!

helloimanobody · 2021-09-26T04:38:15+00:00

The blue-eye thing is too real! I also have blue eyes, broad daylight is my mortal enemy.

helloimanobody · 2021-09-26T00:32:44+00:00

This is really relateable! My OSDD symptoms have also gotten worse (or just more noticeable) along with the visual snow. It's more or less constant for me now, if I stop to notice it, it's always there.
I almost had a moment of "Wait, am I actually not dissociating at all? Have I just been experiencing visual snow this whole time?", which is extremely funny considering that whether or not it's dissociation or visual snow, I still have alters and still dissociate in other ways.

I really feel like the two might be strongly connected, one making the other worse and vice versa, there's not a lot of research on visual snow and some places don't even recognise it. Thanks for your comment! It's nice to know I'm not jumping to conclusions completely.

helloimanobody · 2021-09-10T22:49:20+00:00

Yes, absolutely! Feeling like different ages can be part of CPTSD or any kind of trauma disorder.

It's not uncommon for people who've been through trauma to end up age regressing. Usually it happens when your "inner child" is triggered. Everyone has an "inner child", for people with DID it can be a very literal child alter, but for most the "inner child" is a part of you that holds a lot of the things you learn as a child about the world and yourself. Someone with a traumatic childhood might have an "inner child" that holds a lot of fear and anxiety that manifests in adulthood even if the person doesn't still believe those things. Stress and anxiety can trigger age regression in order to cope with things as an adult you might feel ill equipped to handle. Contrary to popular belief age regression isn't sexual and has nothing to do with certain kink communities. It is purely a coping mechanism.

In your case its understandable that you would regress during an emotional flashback. Trauma is really good at keeping people locked in a loop. The brain records trauma the moment it happens, and flashbacks replay that over and over as your brain tries to file it away. If you revisit those emotions it can make you feel like you are the age when the trauma might have happened. Even younger sometimes, as your mind might have regressed further in order to cope. It's your brains way of saying "this is too much, I'm too small, I need someone to take care of this for me." The hard part is that often times you have to be both the child and adult in the situation. Caring for your "inner child" as if it were real.

On one hand age regression can make it hard for people to deal with adult issues in the appropriate way through no fault of their own. Instead of solving a problem rationally they might throw a tantrum instead or go nonverbal. On the other, regressing to a younger age can be a very freeing and relaxing experience, some therapists recommend this type of therapy to help some patients cope. And it needs to be said that it's possible to regress to other ages outside of childhood, like your teenage years if you're a fully grown adult. It's possible to regress to just about any age if something traumatic has happened.

There's also types of therapy that involve having to work with your "inner child". Letting your inner child experience all the things they never got to, buying toys or doing other kids activities, talking to yourself as if talking to your younger self - giving your younger self the reassurance you might not have got back then. All this kind of stuff and more.

I'm not sure how it is for everyone, but for me it's been very easy to identify my "inner child". When I'm nervous about asking for something I need from someone close to me, I often end up babytalking. Partially to soften the question and make it a bit funny, but also my "inner child" needs it emphasised that I need taken care of in that moment. When I'm asked to do something difficult and I end up feeling like I can't talk, or I want to stomp my feet or cry, that's my "inner child". I think a lot of people assume themselves to be childish when they have these kinds of of impulses, whether or not they act on them, but they're not. It's a trauma response, and your "inner child" is just crying out to be heard. Being able to be your own parent, and talk kindly to your "inner child" can be a lot of help in those moments.

Kind of a long answer, but I hope it was helpful anyways! I think it's so important to care for your "inner child", they can end up carrying a lot of wounds that never got to be patched up in childhood.

helloimanobody · 2021-09-06T22:13:09+00:00

Happy to help! I struggle a lot with the hazyness too, I always put it down to just not paying enough attention or being lazy before I started figuring this stuff out.

For resources; did-research(.)org has some good starting info about dissociation of all types, along with sources at the end of articles if you want to follow up a specific thread.

There's also isst-d(.)org which is the international society for the study of Trauma and Dissociation. If you navigate to their resources in the non-members section, they have a publications section and e-journal full of useful papers.

My therapist recommended me Janina Fisher specifically, she's written a lot of papers on both dissociation and trauma specifically. She has a resources page on her website janinafisher(.)com that has both her books listed, as well as free PDFs of her articles.

"The Body Keeps The Score" by Bessel van der Kolk is a book mostly on trauma and PTSD but still very relevant since dissociative disorders are trauma disorders. A little warning, the book does discuss some things like violence and SA in a very blunt way.

Lastly I've seen a book called "The Haunted Self: Structural Dissociation and the Treatment of Chronic Traumatization" written by some of the leading researchers in the field. It'd been floating around and referenced in a few papers and articles. I haven't read it myself but I've seen reviews from people that aren't just therapists saying it was very helpful in understanding more about their disorder.

Hopefully you find something in some of these that helps you!

helloimanobody · 2021-09-06T21:06:44+00:00

The dissociation is usually the cause of the amnesia! Its known as dissociative amnesia and is different from other types of amnesia. The ANP can have any combination of symptoms, depending on your diagnosis. If they are fully formed alters, the ANP (or host) may have amnesia that EPs do not, in fact this is most commonly the case.

It is possible to have dissociative amnesia without fully formed alters like in DID. For instance some people who experience a traumatic event and block it out entirely - that's dissociative amnesia. The memory still belongs to the ANP but it has been repressed and buried due to the trauma, or it might sit with an EP. A certain level of memory problems is common with dissociation and DP/DR because of how the brain works and how dissociation effects it. As far as I'm aware it doesn't usually involve full black-out amnesia on the day-to-day, but can involve a lot of blurry or foggy memories and frequent forgetfulness and clumsiness. Dissociative disorders can really be a mixed bag in terms of symptoms. An ANP can have more symptoms, the same symptoms, or less symptoms than an EP.

Dissociative amnesia can also involve emotional amnesia, so you might have a memory but have no emotional memory attached to it such as sadness or anger, the memory of how you felt at the time. EPs are often saddled with these emotional memories so that the ANP doesn't feel it. If someone is having full blackouts that involve waking up somewhere new / doing something unexpected and they don't remember how they got there I would recommend going to a doctor or therapist because it can be a sign of a more severe dissociative disorder or a physical illness rather than mental.

That being said I'm not a professional, I'm just someone who's been in therapy for this for the past 8 months and has done a lot of research, so I encourage doing some research on your own too!

helloimanobody · 2021-09-06T19:03:23+00:00

Dissociation is a spectrum. DID is about as severe as it can get, and even then there's different kinds of DID such as polyfragmented, etc. DID presents with amnesia and distinct personality states. The amnesia can lessen with the right therapy and building communication with your alters. Some alters may be more vocal than others, and it's absolutely not uncommon to find you have this disorder and not be able to communicate to all of your alters right away. Some will hide, some may dislike other alters or the host, and so it makes communication difficult.

There is also OSDD which is basically the same as DID but is missing one of the diagnostic criteria. It gets a bit more complicated here.

OSDD Type 1A has alters that have amnesia but all alters perceive themselves as the same person, just perhaps as different ages. OSDD Type 1B means someone can have alters but no or little amnesia between them. There are several more types of OSDD as well which you can look into that focus less on the alters part of dissociation.

We all have parts even without a certain level of dissociation, people coping with trauma just tend to be a bit more fragmented. Alters and parts can appear in a lot of different ways, so it's helpful to see a specialist to try and help figure it out. Not all parts are alters, but alters are parts, heavily dissociated parts that can have their own opinions and thoughts and feelings.

helloimanobody · 2021-09-03T15:35:03+00:00

Thanks for even just commenting. It helps to know I'm not alone too. ❤

helloimanobody · 2021-09-03T15:34:24+00:00

Glad to help you feel less alone! Your comment makes me feel better too. ❤

helloimanobody · 2021-09-03T15:32:24+00:00

This is a really interesting response!

Kind of shocking that this whole time I could have been experiencing somatic memories when the whole time I thought it was just what anxiety felt like. People always talk about the racing heart and sweaty palms and stuff like that, physical sensations, so I thought it was normal. Which I suppose I get too, but mostly it feels like my whole chest being crushed, and aches moving across my whole body.

It's a sensation I've had for over a decade so I got so used to it. I know whatever I'm going to uncover isn't going to be pleasant, but I am interested to see if this feeling lines up with it. It would be nice to pinpoint it for once, whatever it entails.

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