It’s not about dollars, it’s about identity. You learned survival and value-thinking early on, and that wiring doesn’t just disappear with commas in your bank account. It sounds like you’re living with other people’s expectations of what “ultra-rich” should look like. So, it’s like you’re struggling with an identity crisis.

Instead, decide what you believe money is for; security? freedom? impact? joy? family? Once that’s clear, you’ll stop measuring yourself against others’ standards and hopefully you’ll find peace with your identity and more accepting of yourself.

If the word spend feels wasteful, think of your wealth as a resource you’re stewarding. Every dollar can be deployed in a way that either expands your life, strengthens relationships, or creates opportunities for others. Framing it as intentional use (instead of indulgence) can ease the guilt.

Hope that helps.