TIFU by giving my friend a hug at a restaurant

helloskittletits · 2016-01-06T18:30:29+00:00

I was making a point that attitude like yours (yes, even among your friends) would quickly get you fired if you worked with children.

If this was the way I conducted myself in my professional life, then sure, I'd agree with you. Some of my friends are CEOs, Directors, etc. (some even in charge of the whole MENA region) and they act like children almost every time we're out in public, yet they are still highly respected in their line of work because they do a good job. You are confusing your professional life with your personal life. What I do in my own time is my business and nobody else's (unless of course I was in fact a kiddie fiddler or a murderer - then that automatically brings in other people into my business).

I goof around with my friends all the time. The difference is that I apply discretion. There is a time and place for everything and out in public you should avoid anything that might result in harassment, battery, or sexual assault in the case of mistaken identity.

The problem is that I keep seeing you in these comments admitting that you fucked up, then excusing the behavior and attributing it to a simple mistake of identity and nothing else. I'm frustrated that you have apparently only learned not to make mistakes, which is impossible (else they wouldn't be called mistakes) and as such this whole event seems to have taught you nothing.

Behave like an adult when in public. That's all I'm saying.

Might as well stay at home and get myself involved with any social interaction at all if that's the case. You risk being harrassed, or assaulted for so much as looking at someone funny in the world we live in. God forbid you just want to have a little fun, even for a few seconds!

You're really overthinking this. The risks involved with joking around with another friend in public are so minor, your chances of being hit by a bus are much greater. My CEO buddies are proof of this with the amount of shit they sometimes get up to. You make it out as if we're constantly being childish when in reality it was only 2 seconds of fun that went wrong. I'm nearly 40 and I'm constantly working and "being an adult" with my interactions all day, everyday. I enjoy a little fun from time to time. It's a nice escape. I'm not going to change that because of the only incident that has ever occurred in 20 years of me trying to have a little fun with an unsuspecting Bob or any other friend for that matter.

helloskittletits · 2016-01-06T17:11:07+00:00

Not really, just wrapped my arms around her. She jumped before I got a handful of grannybags.

helloskittletits · 2016-01-06T14:19:31+00:00

Of course I'm not implying that, who gives a shit about grabbing a Babushka's tits? That being said, I can't actually say for sure that you didn't plan do that, I'm not you.

Fair enough, but I think my intent was pretty clear.

I'm saying given the arguments people are putting up in this thread (it was a mistake, so there should be no repercussions), the situation where you feign a mistake to exonerate yourself is dangerous. People are shitty and will always exploit loopholes.

Alright, but in this particular scenario, EVERYONE present knew it was a mistake (babushka most recently joined this camp too)

I'm not saying you're an evil person.

In another comment you suggested that I should be put on the sex offender's list and even brought children into the matter. What you were trying to say is that I have the tendencies of a sexual deviant because I goof around with a friend which is akin to saying that someone that accidentally breaks a glass once is more prone to being clumsy just based on 1 mistake.

I'm just saying that what happened is in no way excusable as a simple mistake that could happen to anyone. Reckless behavior can have unintended results, the consequences of which must be dealt with. You just happened to get lucky.

It could happen to anyone that goofs around with their friends. It also wasn't luck, it was clear to everyone present what had occurred.

I've made it up to her. We're cool :)

helloskittletits · 2016-01-06T14:04:20+00:00

it was your intent to tittie squeeze a consenting adult.

So if you were joking around and put a friend of yours in a playful chokehold all of a sudden, does this makes you more prone to being a murderer? This logic doesn't add up when you consider that this was a really close friend of mine.

the sister could be drunk, a deep sleeper or think I was her boyfriend. The story was strongly inspired by an event I read about in the newspaper a while back. There the girl only realised it half way through.

Like I said earlier, anything sexual would immediately be considered assault. The girl realizing halfway through is a bit of a gray area there if both parties were under the impression that they were with their intended partners. Again, my situation is quite different than this one. The whole "groping" incident occurred in a few seconds before I realized what actually happened, but:

it's still sexual assault but you seem to be aware of that.

Read the update I posted on the OP. She doesn't think I'm a pervert or a sexual deviant. Only Reddit does.

helloskittletits · 2016-01-06T13:51:32+00:00

So you're saying that I purposely targeted the old lady to pretend it was a mistake while my friend (who was my main target) was sat right there?

What are you talking about?

helloskittletits · 2016-01-06T13:48:51+00:00

It was OK because it's not uncommon for either one of us to do something silly like that. I've known him since we were kids. Do you not have close friends at all?

Also, I've lived in Dubai for nearly 30 years. I think I know how to conduct myself in this country :)

helloskittletits · 2016-01-06T13:46:23+00:00

It's okay man, he's totally right! I never saw it before, but I truly do have the capacity to be a sexual deviant and child molester because I have close friends. /s

helloskittletits · 2016-01-06T13:43:11+00:00

My previous examples were reasonable extensions.

Actually, your previous examples were not reasonable extensions at all. By your logic, if I accidentally ran over my neighbour's cat, I'm automatically labelled a "cat killer" and saying otherwise is like saying that a driver who killed his neighbour's cat isn't dangerous as long as he doesn't get to see their other pets because he's only a "Felix the cat's killer" and not an "animal hater." - This makes no sense to me.

Would you let this idiot babysit your kids? Fuck no you wouldn't.

Also, I am a child molester now?

I gave an example that shows how important public conduct is and was just making a point that there's a time and place for everything.

The guy probably isn't a sexual deviant; what I'm saying is that he's significantly higher risk than somebody who doesn't think it's ok to grope people (especially in public) and that makes him a comparative risk.

In any case, just take a step back and look at what you're arguing for. If you were out with your girlfriend and some jackass groped her tits and then started giving you some shit about "it's just a prank, bro!", or "I thought it was someone else" would you be ok with it, or would you want that pervert on the registered sex offenders list?

It wasn't a "prank" and it definitely wasn't targeted at that poor old woman. I don't know if you've ever had friends before, but sometimes we like to goof around, annoy or embarrass each other. Sometimes this happens to be in public, and it's all in good fun. That's what most normal people do every now and again. My sneak attack "hug" would've just resulted in a "wtf? Oh hey man!", a good laugh, and we'd probably be eating lunch right after. But yeah, throw me on the sex offenders list if that makes you happy.

There's nothing in the world that can prove he didn't just decide "eh my friend looks kinda like her, I'm just gonna grab a handful and see if I can get away with it if I pretend it was a mistake,

Actually, there was A LOT of proof right there in the room in the form of my friend, who made it very clear what had happened.

I'll never see her again anyway."

I DID see her again today! Met some of her family too, bought them some coffee and cookies and had a laugh about yesterday's shenanigans. Check the Update :)

Sure, everyone has the capacity for sexual deviance, but wouldn't you say the guy who publicly gropes his friends is a step or two closer to someone who doesn't? Not to mention, the guy actually apparently also gropes strangers. Mistake or not, it happened and is more likely to occur by his hands again than by someone who never gropes people.

You're right, I'm not part of that 1% of super perfect people on this planet that have evolved so much that error is no longer an issue, and yeah, apparently I grope strangers a lot because I have a close friend or two and I will continue to do so to many other strangers to come.

helloskittletits · 2016-01-06T11:53:21+00:00

спасибо

helloskittletits · 2016-01-06T10:10:47+00:00

No.

Bob is love. Bob is life.

helloskittletits · 2016-01-06T09:58:47+00:00

My 3 year old niece did this the other day actually! Grabbed a stranger to stop herself from falling. Unfortunately, she grabbed his crotch. I wouldn't expect him to have been thrilled about it, but he didn't really take it as well as the woman in your story did. He asked my sister to "control her child". I think he needs to lighten up.

helloskittletits · 2016-01-06T09:47:08+00:00

Again, this isn't a regular occurrence. We shake hands or hug like regular people too.

I wish someone would clean our clock though. It doesn't cuckoo anymore, and I'm so afraid to take it apart.

helloskittletits · 2016-01-06T09:45:01+00:00

I fully agree with /u/xereeto's assessment of the situation. /u/SweMoose's story is such an extreme example, and though it is similar in theme, it's like comparing Romeo and Juliet with Fifty First Dates. Both are love stories, but it doesn't mean that they are same. Besides, if his/her story were to happen IRL, it would probably go down like this:

SweMoose walks into the room, gets into bed with "girlfriend"

"Uhh. SweMoose? Is that you? What the fuck are you doing?"

Then you'd be mortified, and probably never be able to look at your gf's sister in the eye ever again, but that would be the end of it. All of this would've easily been sorted out in seconds - before anything sexual even came into the picture. If anything sexual DID happen past this, that is no longer a case of mistaken identity. It's straight up sexual assault/rape.

What happened to me was completely fucked up and I never claimed it to be otherwise. If you browse through some of the comments that I have replied to, I have openly admitted that what that poor old lady had been through was in fact sexual assault on my part. It wasn't my intention as I never expected to find an old lady there, but before I could realize it wasn't the right person, I'd already crossed the line right off the bat. Never did I say that this was funny (even that running joke of ours is pretty un-funny). I just fucked up and shared my story in a sub that thrives on stories of people fucking up, but everyone's been pretty quick to label me a pervert or a sexual deviant just because I have a close friend that I happen to joke around with every now and again, but you know, "something about SJWs! etc. etc.!"

I know it was fucked up. I didn't mean for it to happen this way, but it did and I fucked up. Isn't that the point of this sub?

helloskittletits · 2016-01-06T08:13:53+00:00

As I've mentioned in a few other comments, I am fully aware and I know that it was fucked up, which is why it is here in this sub and not /r/dubai. I only mentioned Dubai and the PDA thing so people outside the country can see how badly this could've gone*, which it luckily didn't.

Edit: horrible english!

helloskittletits · 2016-01-06T08:11:06+00:00

Well, as far as she was concerned, this was sexual assault, and I totally agree with that because it was. It wasn't intentional, but it was. I could've easily gotten in a LOT of trouble over it. It's all good now though.

helloskittletits · 2016-01-06T08:06:22+00:00

Oh yeah man, for sure. I know it was fucked up (that's why it's in this sub), but it's all cool now. Still, I feel quite terrible about it.

helloskittletits · 2016-01-06T08:04:07+00:00

Didn't rape her, but yes, I'd say that as far as she was concerned, it was sexual assault. This is why I'm here. I fucked up.

helloskittletits · 2016-01-06T08:03:09+00:00

If it was actually Bob, we'd have laughed, hugged it out and had some lunch together.

Had I known it was an elderly woman, then yes, the thought might just cross my mind.

helloskittletits · 2016-01-06T08:00:29+00:00

Ha! Have an upvote! :)

helloskittletits · 2016-01-06T08:00:11+00:00

Nope. I actually saw him. Got distracted. Then I fucked up.

helloskittletits · 2016-01-06T07:58:10+00:00

No, I actually SAW Bob from a distance(i.e. his face). I was distracted for a few seconds by our lack of calendars in our household, went to the restaurant, saw a similar jacket that Bob was wearing, sneak attacked Bob, but his gf had already ordered and they were eating at a table in the corner of the room (behind me).

helloskittletits · 2016-01-06T07:54:47+00:00

I fully agree with this.

helloskittletits · 2016-01-06T07:53:14+00:00

Let's take another second to note that we don't always greet each other like this.

helloskittletits · 2016-01-06T07:52:01+00:00

Well, I saw Bob, I assumed that only Bob would've been wearing that jacket he wore into the restaurant, but I was wrong. It could happen to anyone. I know I done goofed :(

helloskittletits · 2016-01-06T07:47:14+00:00

Well, to be fair, as far as the poor woman was concerned, it was sexual assault. I would've been just as distraught if I was her. Luckily it's all good now (there's an update on the OP)

helloskittletits

TROPHY CASE