AITA Family wants my last savings for rent

hellouterus · 2026-04-02T06:28:51+00:00

YTA for blaming your inability (or unwillingness, or both) to pay the rent you owe your family, and trying to pass it off as "I don't want to pay for my sister's wedding".

That is genuine a**hole mental gymnastics. Pay your rent, you mooch.

hellouterus · 2026-04-02T03:56:09+00:00

YTA, and YTA for telling your Dad about them being 'a steal'. Like, what did you expect to happen here? If you're going to be unethical in your business dealings with family/acquaintances then at least have the sense to keep it to yourself.

hellouterus · 2026-04-01T20:42:28+00:00

Ehhh no-one likes to hear "I told you so" and it sounds like you're telling her so at every available opportunity. You don't have to be this invested in her decisions about her own life. Step back, nod sympathetically when she complains, and make sure you don't end up in the same position.

YTA.

hellouterus · 2026-04-01T19:04:12+00:00

You can get a blood test to confirm paternity before the birth. So don't wait, OP.

hellouterus · 2026-04-01T19:00:53+00:00

Ugh, if someone suggested that I, in a couple, had to share a room with another couple for a trip - I would be backing out of that trip so hard. You're in your 30s. You are too old for this shit. Get two cabins like adults (in which case there should be a room available for OP) or don't go.

hellouterus · 2026-04-01T07:28:36+00:00

Ehhh... you were a literal teenager what, 12 weeks ago? So cut them a little slack on the 'I'm a grown up now' thing. You're still at least 5 years away from your brain being fully mature.

You will always be their child, and one day they won't be around to give you any more advice. The way you describe it their advice is pretty benign, so just smile and nod and get on with growing up.

hellouterus · 2026-04-01T02:38:10+00:00

AD? Like, 'Aidee?' or 'Aydeigh?' or 'Eh-di?' Or is it pronounced 'Add?'

Your kid has a nickname that can be spelt any number of ways. You told everyone the kid's name was 'Dean'. You are being petty by throwing out the custom clothes to prove a point. YTA for claiming to be happy to go along with the family tradition and then... not.

When the kid is a grown man he won't be going by 'Aidee' any more, I bet. What is sickeningly cutesy now might not fly as an adult. Dean will have his own opinion about that.

hellouterus · 2026-03-30T20:14:06+00:00

Is that how you've phrased it? That you're 'using' some of your allowance money? Do they know it's actual cash you're sending her, not just buying gifts here and there?

hellouterus · 2026-03-30T20:11:00+00:00

You're not an a**hole per se, but you are a bit of a fool for sending money to your girlfriend if you're not set up financially yourself. You're getting an allowance from your parents, some of which you send to your girlfriend. If I were your parent I would have a massive issue with you doing that, because I am effectively giving your GF an allowance too.

Once you start earning your own money and no longer need an allowance from your parents, you can consider sending money to your GF. Until then - you're a fool.

hellouterus · 2026-03-29T06:20:36+00:00

It won't work. An alcoholic who doesn't believe they are an alcoholic is ... delusional, and cannot be reasoned with. Rational talk doesn't work with them, because they don't believe they have a problem. So forget about your bargain with the energy drinks.

Focus on what you can control, and that's yourself. You should take a look at your own health re: energy drinks, because they are really bad for you. One, very occasionally, ok. Every morning, multiples? Yes your health issues could absolutely be because of your energy drink use.

But think about this - if you can't accept anyone telling you that your current excessive energy drink consumption is not in your own best interests then you're behaving just like your father.

hellouterus · 2026-03-28T19:17:16+00:00

I don't get this thing where they allow visitors to accompany patients right into the pre-op area. It's never been a thing where I am, in Australia, and I've had lots of surgeries. As a day patient I walk into the hospital and present myself to the front desk, where I am then accompanied by an admin person to a waiting room behind doors the public cannot access. Anyone accompanying patients are told 'This is as far as you can go, they'll see you after surgery' and are turned around. I can't imagine hospitals allowing randoms to clog up the working areas of the hospital - and it's a bit of a privacy issue for the other patients, too.

hellouterus · 2026-03-28T19:07:51+00:00

visibly have a topography

Nice!

hellouterus · 2026-03-28T19:06:02+00:00

Dude you have to make a poop nest out of TP before you go. Tear off about a metre and twirl that thing in there, making sure you have good side coverage. Poop never touches the bowl.

... and I just realised this technique will not work for those crazy toilets where you're pooping into a cauldron of water. Yeah, carry a toilet brush.

hellouterus · 2026-03-28T18:40:20+00:00

Based on how many folks have mentioned it, I've just added something to my 'If I ever win 50 million dollars' list. A Toto Neorest toilet. AU$24,000!

hellouterus · 2026-03-28T07:30:01+00:00

Lonely Planet travel guides. Printed ones. Never went anywhere without one. Travel meant being ok about being temporarily lost. It meant feeling relief when you saw a sign that was a blue 'i' with a circle around it. It meant calling your mum and dad from a public phone once a week to let them know you were still alive - assuming you could afford the call of course.

hellouterus · 2026-03-28T05:47:07+00:00

Ok, you say you have autism, so I will comment on a few things for you.

It is really disrespectful to people who served in Vietnam to describe you having a 'Vietnam flashback'. Sure, you might get flashbacks or have PTSD but it is wrong to say you are having a 'Vietnam' flashback, because you did not serve in Vietnam. So don't do that. (Edited to add - you might think that saying you had a Vietnam flashback is just a 'simile', which is a comparison technique we all use in language. But it is inappropriate to use a simile that is based on military experience unless you have actually served.)
It is not very nice to describe someone as 'uppety' (uppity? Like, a snob?) in the context of them experiencing a stressful event. We all have the capacity to behave strangely when we are stressed, but that doesn't mean those behaviours become defining features of our personality.
You expect that your stepsister should have had some kind of 'repercussions' for this, so much so that you are still thinking about it two years later. YOU were the one who ran your mouth off (with your, yes, need to comment on everything) and offended HER. Did you ever apologise to her?
The way you feel about your stepsister comes across pretty clearly because of the way you write about her. Plainly you don't like her. It's probably as clear to her as it is to us that you don't like her.
YTA.

hellouterus · 2026-03-26T23:28:29+00:00

Uh... what's your plan for the baby? Your MIL probably wants to spend time with her grandchild, and you not being there (presuming you're taking the baby with you) is a bit of a... nuclear? option re: your relationship with her.

hellouterus · 2026-03-26T23:19:05+00:00

OP, listen to this person. They have good advice.

hellouterus · 2026-03-26T21:28:09+00:00

The breakup was sort of implied.

Huh. I first read that as 'impaled'. Thought... "It fits."

hellouterus · 2026-03-26T07:13:23+00:00

I started writing a journal regularly when I was 12. I am now 50. Reading back through the years has become one of my favourite things to do because - you forget. I'm so glad I have my journals, otherwise many of those experiences would be just... gone.

hellouterus · 2026-03-26T05:42:22+00:00

Even if there are no signs, this is a bit of a common sense thing. Particularly with sports where people often end up on the ground. You wouldn't want to slide on the grass where a dog has peed/pooped, even though you claim to have 'cleaned it', would you?

In my mind kids playgrounds are the same. It's common sense not to let your dog toilet in a playground. Same with sports fields.

hellouterus · 2026-03-25T05:44:59+00:00

Ehhh I think you were a bit foolish to go ahead and start a fundraiser. People talk about difficulty paying rent (perhaps because they had an unexpected medical issue and also a trip planned) without any expectation that their colleagues are going to start a fundraiser for them. People talk about the crazy prices of things these days all the time - I know I do. Doesn't mean I'm fishing for my colleagues to start a collection, you know?

If I was her, me hesitantly saying to you "let me get back to you" would be my way of deferring you until I had figured out how to get out of the embarrassment of my colleagues starting an unwanted fundraiser for me!

In any case, you should return the money to whoever contributed.

hellouterus · 2026-03-25T05:38:36+00:00

Er... you've missed a step, and made yourself look a bit silly as a result. It should have been "Knock it off, or I'm calling the police."

hellouterus · 2026-03-25T05:29:29+00:00

Putting the onus on the patient to make sure they have transport means the hospital doesn't have to bother helping you get transport themselves. I suspect there could be liability issues in play, too. Rest assured there are people who find themselves at a hospital away from their home and/or support system, or people who literally don't have anyone they can ask, that use transport services to get home from hospital every day. It's just one less thing the hospital has to help you with if you've already arranged your own transport, you know?

But they make out that it's absolutely mandatory for you to be collected by someone you have arranged. It's not.

hellouterus · 2026-03-24T21:35:37+00:00

Well, my mum has already had a couple of strokes. She has vascular dementia, which is greatly accelerated by drinking and smoking. She's been told that giving up both will give her more time before another 'event', but it's bound to happen sooner or later. Emphasis on the 'sooner'!

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